Sex With Ena
All of my sexy pieces in one place
In the words of my favorite erotica writer Anais Nin: “We write to taste life twice, in the moment and in retrospect.” And what better part to relive than our sex lives?
I do love writing about sex and sexuality, but it wasn’t until I sat down to complete this list that I realized just how many stories I’ve published on the topic since I started here in October 2019: N̶i̶n̶e̶t̶y̶-̶n̶i̶n̶e̶, o̶n̶e̶-̶h̶u̶n̶d̶r̶e̶d̶-̶a̶n̶d̶-̶t̶w̶e̶n̶t̶y̶o̶n̶e̶ one-hundred-and-forty-six (updated 11.10.23)!
I write about sexuality, not just for my own enjoyment, but because I believe it’s important. I believe we must normalize having an open, honest, and candid discourse around something that, despite being the most normal thing in the world—we’re all here because of it—is still such an uncomfortable, taboo topic for many. I believe in the importance of women and females speaking LOUDLY about sex. While precaution and safety are essential components of good sex education, I want to see more conversations about pleasure, why we should expect it, and why sex is good for us!
Without further ado, here’s a catalog of ALL of my sex stories, articles, guides, columns, poems, and tidbits—all neatly categorized and in one place:
Essays: Guides, Tips & Advice
—
Be a Better Lover
—
Every Great (Sex) Journey Begins with a Single Step Manageable milestones to help you reach your sexiest goals
Why I Am a Such a Good Lover And all you need to know in order to become one
Be Better in Bed! Seven steps to sexual prowess
Sexy — It’s Not Just an Adjective Pondering the erotic, the difference between the visual and the cerebral, and what it means to be ‘sexy’
Ways to Create Anticipation and Build Sexual Tension Like a Pro An extensive list of things to do prior to (or instead of) penetration to make sex even better
Why Men Who Master Sexual Self-Restraint Are So Irresistible Delay gratification to blow her mind — and double the reward
There Are Right And Wrong Ways To Kiss Screwing it up might be ruining ‘your game’
Sexting 101: The Ultimate Guide to Dirty Texting Why, when, what, and how to sext like a pro
❧
Better Communication = Better Sex
—
Let’s Talk About Sex! Sure, but How and Where Do I Start? How to get started with vocalizing your sexual needs and desires with your partner(s)
Why You Should Talk About Sex on the First Date Knowing and communicating our needs is the safest way to make sure they’re met
The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned From Dating in the BDSM Scene Hint: It isn’t how to be a ‘good girl’ or to give a proper spanking
First Dates With People Who’ve Already Seen Me Naked A case for sharing your sexual preferences — and your nudes — with a potential new partner
❧
Anal Sex
—
The Quick & Dirty Guide to Anal Cleaning And why being groomed for the task can make butt sex more enjoyable…
Is Anal More Intimate ‘Regular’ Sex? Why I won’t let ‘just anyone’ into my most sacred of spaces…
The Secret to Enjoying Anal Sex It’s all about preparation
❧
Oral Sex
—
If You Were to Lick My Pussy You could try a little sumpin’ like this…
If I Was to Give You the Best Blowjob I’d do a little sumpin’ like this…
If You Don’t Lick, You Can Suck It! How can you be her lover if you’re appalled by a part of her?
Blowjob Dos & Don’ts How to give a better blowjob
Tips & Tricks for Better Blowjobs Four heads-ups on how to give great head
❧
Three & More-somes
—
How To Be a Third in a Threesome: A Unicorn Guide “Be a unicorn in a field of horses”
The Fears That Kill Your Threesome Dreams Four common threesome scares and how to overcome them
A Case For Sleeping With Your Friends Sex doesn’t always complicate or change things — at least not for the worse
❧
Squirting
—
Want to Squirt? First, Learn to Let Go! How I learned that squirting is only one part technique
My Friend, the Squirting Expert Interview with Sam (34) who shares from his well of knowledge and experience with female ejaculation
❧
All About Pleasure
—
Double Your Pleasure With Mutual Masturbation A comprehensive guide to elevating your partnered solo play
Can Masturbation Screw With Your Orgasms? Masturbation can be a double-edged sword. Here’s why.
Meet Circlusion; Penetration’s Other Half Two actions reliant on each other — circlusion emphasizes the value of both acting in harmony
Edging the Orgasm Gap Let’s fill it with the truth
Nobody Owes You an Orgasm! Pleasure is not “give and take”, but something we create together
How The German Love for Being Naked Has Helped Me Accept Myself There’s nothing inherently sexual about nudity, and learning to separate the two is key to a more relaxed relationship…
❧
Relationships & Dating
—
How Can We Keep Kink-Dynamics Alive In Steady Relationships? How to maintain the mystery and move from ‘real-life’ to ‘power-play’, and back again
Why Observing Her Cycle Is One of the Most Romantic Things… Skip the flowers and sync up with her tracking app instead
How Cloning Our ‘Privates’ Boosted Our Confidence My boyfriend and I made casts of each other for fun-but it did a lot more than making us laugh
Writing About Sex When Your Lover(s) Read It All The unexpected gains of baring it all online
Consent for Sexting and Why We Need It Never put anyone in a sexual scenario they didn’t agree to be in — even online and in writing
❧
Public Sex: The Exhibitionism Edition
—
A Survival Guide for Successful Outdoor Sex The Seven Principles of Leave No Trace rewritten: Minimum impact practices for sex outside
Exhibitionistic Sex Is All About the Thrill The throes and titillations — the wheres and hows of public sex
My Four Most Fabulous Sexcapes in Nature Stories and tips on how to elevate your wildest adventures
I’ll Expose My Body, but My Pleasure Is Private Why I won’t receive oral sex in public
❧
Safe Sex & Sexual Health
—
You Can Just Say No, He Said About the women who were attacked and killed for saying no to men — and why I won’t shut up about this.
Do Condoms Make You Go Soft? I’m Here to Help! How to prevent and alleviate situational erectile dysfunction — condom related, or otherwise
Men, Are You Really More Afraid of a Failed Performance than of STIs? Questions and concerns brought up by my best friend’s reactive HIV test
Hot ≠ Safe: Beware of the Sexual Halo Effect How cognitive bias can affect our judgment in bed
Are COVID Anti-vaxxers More Likely to Engage in Unsafe Sex? Hypothesis: If they don’t care about health and safety in general, why would they care about sexual health?
Why Your Ask for Unprotected Casual Sex Is a Huge Red Flag An open letter to the guy who asked to skip the condom on the first date
❧
Sex is Healthy!
—
Sex Is The Most Powerful Medicine Up the dose on this natural super drug through times of crisis All the positive effects that sex has on your mind and body
“Constant Sex Kills The Coronavirus” The piece of fake news that might have a sliver of truth to it
❧
Food + Sex
—
My Favorite Course is the Intercourse How and why food and sex are related
Turn Dinner Into a Delightful Debauchery Up the ante on date night: A not-so-innocent dinner idea
Personal & Erotic Shorts
There are so many similarities between sex and storytelling, the two are intertwined. I love telling sexy stories may also be (at least a bit) educational.
❧
This Happened To Me
—
A Butthole Party Was the Event I Never Knew I Needed The evening when I learned to see the anus in a whole new light
My Sexiest Highlights of 2020 Twenty lustrous gems that brightened my twenty-twenty
Do You Squirt? The story of how I found out
My Best Friend Lent Me Her Lover If sharing is caring, the two of us care a lot! I was horny, she was not, so she sent her man to my place as a treat.
I Posed Nude for an Artist on our First Date “Draw me like one of your French girls”
The Time I Had My Cake and Ate Her Too Ménage à Trois with a cherry on top: A recipe of sorts Or… the time I made my best friend into a birthday cake and devoured her with my Master
My First One-Night-Stand Was With Two Men in a Sex-Club The time I ticked off a whole sex bucket list in a night
An Ass-Master Stole My Heart A story about anal sex, and my (attempted) polyamorous slave-Master relationship
The Boy & The Cougar The morning I fulfilled a fantasy I didn’t know I had
He Didn’t Make Me Cum, so I Made Him Leave The guy who came ‘too fast’, and left even faster
My Sex Bucket List Make my naughty wishlist come true!
❧
Erotica
—
A Spanish Inquisition A scheduling conflict turns into an opportunity for introductions… and for an MFM fantasy to be realized
Next Level A young woman in Berlin in search of something — her identity, her sexuality, or both
A Lighted Window at Dusk An erotic two-hander on longing and other obscure sorrows
Penis Envy An erotic tale of powerplay and gender identity in a lesbian relationship
Dinner With a Vibe Sir takes (the remote) control in this buzzing erotic short with a sweet surprise
❧
The Connection Between Sex & Storytelling
—
Can You Write Your Way to Better Sex? Why good storytellers make more attractive lovers
The Best-Worst Fantasy Someone Sent Me With feedback, comments, and guidance on how to improve your sex/storytelling skills
The Good-Bad Girl and the Bad-Good Guy What I sexted as a response to the worst fantasy ever
Kink & BDSM
I’ve been exploring and practicing various aspects of BDSM over the last few years and find it deeply cathartic, even healing. BDSM is, therefore, near-spiritual to me. Besides, few things have provided me such self-awareness; it has helped me understand myself, my wants and needs, and to communicate these clearly.
A Beginners Guide to BDSM BDSM is, to an extent, about pushing boundaries, but it’s not a competition
The Higher You Fly, The Harder You Drop? Understanding ‘post-play drop’ in BDSM and what causes it
What is Aftercare? One of the most important elements in BDSM
How To Find The ‘Perfect’ Play Partner? A reader suggested we write a piece on how to find the perfect play partner. After some years in the BDSM scene, I’m…
No, You’re Not Normal (But Who Is?) Being normal is the only thing that isn’t normal
My First Time at a BDSM Club Or, how not to visit a BDSM club
How to Host the Best Kinky Sex Parties at Home The way to get what you want is to create it yourself
Curious About Joining Fetlife? Take My Hand and Let Me Guide You The ultimate beginners guide to the kinky social network
Kink: A One-Way Street With Many Alternate Routes Five women and their journey into kink and beyond
Ropes, Powerplay & Sadomasochism — Explaining My Kinks to My Mother Excerpts from this summer’s conversations with my mom; an interview of sorts
Which Fantasies and Kinks Will Gain Popularity in a Post-Pandemic World? COVID has already affected our sex lives greatly. How will it continue to influence our erotic imaginations?
❧
Domination & Submission
—
How to Be a Powerful Sexual Submissive Not your regular submission guidelines
So You Think You Can ‘Dom’? The step-by-step guide to sensual domination.
Is Submission an Excuse to Be Lazy in Bed? The active role of the ‘passive’ part of a D/s dynamic
Can We Learn How to Be More Dominant or Submissive in Bed? Are our kinks and sexual roles inherent, or can they be adopted?
How to Outsmart Your Dom Ten things (not) to say to drive your top up the wall
❧
Pain, Spanking, Sadism & Masochism
—
The Relativity of Pain Understanding why sensation is often circumstantial
Your Pain, My Pleasure Discover the alluring links between pleasure and pain
This is How I Want You To Spank Me The fine art of spanking someone into a state of euphoria
Healing Pain With Pain How reclaiming my pain through BDSM became my remedy
The BDSM Tools You Didn’t Know You Owned With some creativity, your home is already a well-equipped dungeon: A budget-friendly DIY-BDSM guide
My Friend, The Buddhist Sadist An interview with Marco (35) — not your average smiley Buddhist
❧
Shibari, Ropes & Bondage
—
Wrap Yourself Up Why learning rope bondage and self-tying is one of the best gifts you could give yourself
Tie Me Up to Set Me Free How I experience being bound and suspended in ropes
Why We Love Rope Riggers and rope models share what Shibari means to them
A Love Story in Ropes SPNKD’s rope teacher on his journey; how he got stuck and later untangled, and how ropes have tied him and his wife…
❧
Various Kinks & Fetishes
—
B is for Blueberry Fetish, F is for Fornophilia A Dictionary of Curious Kinks for Kinktober, Part 1 of 4: A to F
You Want Me to Stuff How Many Sharpies up My What-Now??? What’s up with hole-stretching and why are some people into that?
Cum For Me! The Joys of JOI Porn Exploring the thriving genre of porn referred to as JOI (Jerk off Instructions)
Playing With Fire and Ice The full range of temperature play, how to do it, and what to look out for
What if I Do Want You to Spit in My Mouth? Does that make me a freak?
Worship My Feet! A love note from a toe tease
Scare My Pants Off The interplay of fear and desire
Take My Breath Away Edge-play: Choking and breath play in BDSM
What Is Needle Play, and How Can ‘That’ Be Sexy? I tried a kink I never thought I would. Here’s what I learned…
How I Found out That I Have a Knife Fetish When you know you have nothing to be scared of, fear can be an aphrodisiac
❧
Theoretical Kink
—
The Ego, Shame & BDSM Can humiliation lead to healthier egos and better mental health?
Is Kink the ‘New’ Thing? Proof that our grandparents were kinky too
Yes, Kink is Childish — And That’s a Good Thing! Unleash your inner-child and play your way to better physical and mental health
Sex & Spirituality
“When we touch the place in our lives where sexuality and spirituality come together, we touch our wholeness and the fullness of our power, and at the same time our connection with a power larger than ourselves.” This quote by Judith Plaskow outlines my mission as a sex writer: Through my work, I want to assist others in finding the place in their lives where sexuality and spirituality meet.
❧
Alchemy & Transmutation
—
See Me, Feel Me, Touch Me, Heal Me The healing potential in feeling seen through kink and sexual submission
Blazed & Defused Sacred Morning Bliss recounted
Elemental Desires Sexual alchemy — a spell
Sexual Alchemy: Water The one who filled her cup
❧
Energy Work
—
Create With Your Libido — Fuck With Your Creativity All of our vital energy spring from the same source
Transmute Energy With Chakra Masturbation A guide to sexual alchemy through mindful self-pleasure
❧
Religion & Patriarchy
—
For the Love of Christ Escapades of a former Jesus freak who went from preaching to perversion, and took the Holy Son along for the ride
Father Thinks I’m a Satanist After finding my ‘nudes’ on Instagram
My Dead Grandmother Watched Me Having Sex Haunting myths I learned about sex from my Christian upbringing
Sexual Politics
“Everything in the world is about sex, except sex. Sex is about power,” said Oscar Wilde and I couldn’t agree more. Further, politics isn’t always sexy, but sex is always political, and that, more than anything is why we must talk about it!
❧
Sexology & Ethical Non-Monogamy
—
Criticizing Toxic Monogamy Culture Is Not an Argument for Polyamory I was called out as a hypocrite for challenging my programming on social media. (A conversation about toxic monogamy culture. Part one)
No One Can Be Everything for Anyone — And That’s Ok! Accepting this liberating notion does not imply the necessity to be polyamorous. (A conversation about toxic monogamy culture. Part two)
❧
Sex-positive Feminism
—
The Missing Pieces of Me(at) I was raised to believe ‘sinful’ sex would fragment me
I Used to Slut-Shame — Now I Am One Embodying the true meaning of the word has made me whole
Let’s Call a Cunt a Cunt! And, let’s not perpetuate the usage of a perfectly good word for one of our body parts as an insult
How I Learned to Honor My Sexual Seasons After winter, must come spring — Change, it comes eventually…
Let’s Stop Getting Penetrated and Start Circluding The power of language in sex and why words matter
Stop Shaming Me for Loving the Deepthroat! There’s no right or wrong way to give a blow-job
Sex and Other Seemingly Violent Pursuits: Is Violence Always Violent-Looking and Vice Versa? Examining the difference between ‘violent’ and ‘violence’ in the contexts of sex, BDSM and emotional abuse
Give Me a Nasty Lover! Why I prefer a man who loves a good mess
Wait, You Want to Pay Me How Much to Step on Your Balls? What I learned from an offer to sexually ‘torture’ someone for money
❧
The porn conversation
—
Germany Just Released Its First-Ever State-Funded Porno! Finally, my German broadcasting license fee is going towards something I’ll actually watch
This Is Where You’ll Find Good Porn Hint: You’ll have to pay for it, which is how we get good porn in the first place
❧
Motherhood
—
Are You Allowed to Be a Mother and Also Love Sex? Confessions of a ‘slut-mom’, and how I learned to embrace myself as a whole woman
Congratulations, You’re a Smoking Hot MILF! An award acceptance speech
❧
LGBTQI & Identity
—
I Just Found Out I’m a Heteroromantic Bisexual Grappling with the complexities of bisexuality and the value of labels
I Kissed a Girl (And, Yes, I Did Like It!) Response to a 100-word writing challenge on the first kiss
Hot & Sensual Poetry
A collection of poems and other sensual short-form texts
On The Last of Her Days A true story of a ‘crime of passion’
Twin Flames A poem to the one(s) I’ve always known
Spell-Bound A heart-to-heart in ropes
Let Me Be Small A poem about the paradoxical healing effects of power play
Ode to The Master A poem from a muse
Algolagnia From Greek, álgos, ‘pain’ and lagneía, ‘lust’ — a sexual tendency defined by deriving sexual pleasure and stimulation…
Un-chained A redemption song
The Smell of You A poem that lingers
Your Dickpic Turns Me On Better the dick you know than the dick you don’t
April Fools A poem about public sex and lies
Strike Three A spoken word poem
(Im)permanence A morning contemplation
That’s it for now, but worry not, there’s plenty more to come. Thank you so much for reading and stay warm my sexy friends!
