The Time I Had My Cake and Ate Her Too

A surprise threesome with a cherry on top: A recipe of sorts

Introduction

I’ve had my share of threesomes and a few moresomes too. But none compare to the time a lover and I turned one of my best friends into a cake and devoured her.

There was the impromptu threesome in a sexclub, with two guys—both named Jimmy. The one with a married, yogini couple from Tindr while their kid was asleep in the next room. There was one with a self-obsessed music producer, where his mistress and I took turns pegging him—partially because he loved getting pegged, but also because he was too high to get it up. Another one with my neighbor and her Dom. And then some…

They were always a lot of fun—and sometimes a lot of awkward too.

A few might be deserving of their own stories. Still, most of the above fall flat when I think of the time I obducted my friend and delivered her, blindfolded to the hotel room where my lover was waiting with whipped cream and champagne.

Back story

I have a weak spot for creative geniuses. I also have a thing for people with twisted, perverted minds. Combine the two and I’m an easy sell.

While I’ve always been creative in most areas, I never extended my creativity to the bedroom. Not until after I became single and ventured outside the world of vanilla.

From being fear-struck by the question ‘what do you want me to do to you’, I gained enough experience to fuel my pervy imagination. My brain started frequenting the gutters enough to serve up depravities, smutty enough to make your average Tindr date choke on their GT.

So, when my hot, dissolute and Dominant ‘dude’ suggested we surprise our friend for her birthday, my filth-wheels started churning, full speed.

It’s necessary to mention that the three of us had already had our bouts in the bed together, with great results. As a trio, we had incredible chemistry and the sex had been smoldering hot. My friend had also professed that she would be up for more action at any time, and I was therefore sure that any kind of well-planned surprise would be welcome.

A note on consent

I’d like to stress that for all sex-related stunts and surprises, one must be 100% confident that the surprise will be appreciated. Sticking to someone you’re already intimate with is highly recommended, and even then, you can’t be sure until you ask. Make sure consent is given, in the form of an enthusiastic YES! —this can happen after the initial surprise has been revealed, but is a must before proceeding with anything of sexual nature.

Planning

—What if we lure her to a hotel room, turn her into a birthday cake and eat her?

I’m not sure which one of us came up with it, it could easily have been either of our debased brains, but we immediately agreed it was the idea of the century.

While he arranged a hotel room, I made a date with my friend to ‘take her out for cake’ after work on her birthday.

The mastermind scheme was rolling!

Ingredients

When the day came, I was giddy like a kid in a candy store and couldn’t sit still until it was time to go. Involuntarily smiling—that sly smile you carry right before you’re about to get laid real good—I got done up in my best lingerie, before heading to the store to make a conspicuous purchase:

1 bottle of whipped cream 1 bottle of chocolate sauce 1 pack of colored cake deco 1 basket of fresh strawberries 1 bottle of Crément

Ready to go!

I felt like a very naughty private detective while texting them both, separately, on the way there. She was almost done with her shift. He had checked in, along with a brooding bag of sex toys and tools.

Game on!

Preparation

My voice was shaking and my hands trembling when I met the birthday girl outside of her work. I usually never get nervous about sex, but now I could barely see straight.

I’m pretty sure she realized something was off when I told her we were having cake at a nearby hotel.

She must have wondered when I placed her on a plush velvet loveseat in the lobby and went to check-in at the reception.

—Where are we going? she asked, with a smirk when the concierge pressed the number 5 in the elevator.

—Ehhhm, they have a very reputable cake place on the top floor, I attempted.

I’ve never been a great liar, so I said as little as possible.

There was definitely no doubt that devious plans were in the works when I pushed her up against the wall and spun three rounds of bondage tape around her eyes.

—What the hell are you doing, she giggled.

At that exact moment, a crowd of suits made their way through the corridor. I quickly pulled her into a corner, covered her face with mine and kissed her.

—We have a surprise for you!

—We? Who the hell is “we”?

I knocked on the door and he opened, naked but a long bathrobe. Hearing his voice, she immediately caught on.

—Omg, you guys! This is crazy! You’re so sweet—and crazy!

Method

After confirming that our birthday-girl was enthusiastically on board, we slowly removed her clothes with our hands and mouths. Then, I led her into the shower to give her a proper post-work clean-up— and check in with my friend, woman-to-woman — before joining the hungry stud waiting in the lavish king size bed.

As all birthday girls should be, we started by making ours the star of the party and gave her the royal treatment. We proceeded to decorate our cake as artfully as we could; covered in cream and sause, and topped with fresh berries, we wrote happy birthday in red frosting across her chest and belly. Then, as if revealing the cake to itself, we removed her blindfold and proceeded to lick each millimeter clean—making sure we fed her plenty as well.

I’ll leave the rest of the dirty details to your imaginations, but needless to say, the feast was delectable. Our sweet-toothed ménage continued to indulge our gluttony until we were drunk off sweets, wine, and mostly, each other and settled into a sweaty pile of intertwined bodies, nestled in sticky sheets.

When our half-day room-rental came to an end, we rinsed off and swopped our birthday suits for our civilian garbs, uncovered and rolled up the blatantly naughty bed and disappeared into the night, giggling like a bunch of sugar-hight kids leaving the most epic celebration ever.

I hope this story can inspire others to let their creativity seep into the bedroom. This recipe is open to interpretation and can be adjusted in any way that suits your palate. The only required ingredients being concent, followed by a dash of debauched imagination and a generous sprinkle of playfulness.

Enjoy!