Exhibitionistic Sex Is All About the Thrill
The throes and titillations, the wheres and hows of public sex
A few months ago, when I wrote about outdoor sex and recounted my most fabulous nature sexcapades, I planned to immediately follow up with the topic of exhibitionistic sex.
Then, something got in the way… In fear of trivializing the current crisis, I won’t call it a buzz-kill but it did, nonetheless, put a damper on our collective outdoor and public sex plans—among many things.
I’m certainly not the only one feeling cooped up right now.
As restrictions are slowly loosening in parts of the world, there’s no telling when we can move about as we used to. All the while, my inner thrill-seeker is starting to stir for something besides indoor-sex. (And, yes, I endlessly grateful to have had that over the last few months, as opposed to no touch at all!)
The time might not be ripe, yet, but there’s no reason why we shouldn’t dream a little, right?
Sex in nature and public sex are two entirely different animals: The first allows the time and privacy to focus on fulfillment and enjoyment of the act—and the scenery—the latter is less about the actual sex.
Public sex is just as much, if not more, about the exhibitionistic thrill. Here, pleasure is predominantly derived from the sense of adventure you get from doing something risky.
On that note, I don’t encourage anyone to get themselves into serious trouble: As I wrote in my outdoor sex survival guide, one should always be aware of local laws before engaging in any kind of ‘indecent exposure’—while making sure no one’s forced to witness something they didn’t ask for.
With this in mind, I invite you to read on and potentially be inspired to explore this depraved delight for yourself.
The sex party experience
A great place to start, these parties are basically gatherings of other exhibitionists and/or voyeurs. Besides, everyone else are (literally) doing it. It’s a great way to show off and blend in all at the same time!
Whether a swingers club, kink event, or another sex-positive party, you’ll find like-minded individuals, in a safe environment—with a strong focus on consent as well as hygiene.
I’ve had a few such experiences, some more in the open and others hidden away in semi-private areas of the club. There’s something highly erotic about feeling the lustful eyes of the onlookers on your body—on your own terms—and simultaneously catching glimpses of others getting it on from the corner of your eye.
With low risk, tons of sexiness, and high achievability, I absolutely recommend the sex party experience to anyone interested in exploring this side of themselves. While it’s more than possible to ‘pick up’ at a party like this, going with a partner you’re already comfortable with is key to ensuring a good time, especially if you’re new.
Spa sex
This one’s naughty, and potentially very risky too. At a public spa, respect for other guests is imperative; you don’t want to impose or be unhygienic!
I know someone who got kicked out and permanently banned from their spa for getting too frisky in the jacuzzi. Unless public humiliation is your thing, that doesn’t sound like fun.
But, then again, spending hours naked with your partner, surrounded by more naked people, it can be hard to not get at least a little touchy-feely.
This is exactly what happened this winter when my lover and I hit our local wellness center, a huge Bali-themed spa with a dozen saunas, multiple outdoor pools and lounge rooms equipped with fireplaces and waterbeds.
It was cuddled up in one of the latter, wrapped in robes and towels, that we couldn’t resist letting our hands wander and ended up having the sneakiest, and quietest, sex of our lives.
With other people close, there was no way we could let loose and really go for it, but the self-restraint made everything that more electrifying—and laterally more sensitive!
Unless you have access to private facilities or somehow have the venue to yourself, full-on sex in a public spa is essentially impossible unless you’re out to create a scene and get yourself evicted, or worse…
It is, on the other hand, great for sneaky flirting, sensual sliding of bodies together in warm pools, and some borderline inappropriate PDA that will build anticipation and excitement for when you get home after. It’s the perfect foreplay, so to speak!
Aimless walks with a single goal
A lover and I used to go for walks with the main objective to get it on somehow and somewhere, without really knowing where we’d end up.
I loved these walks as they felt like treasure hunts where part of the fun was simply examining our surroundings. Watching my partner scour each corner, alley, or empty lot for somewhere to pull me into and eventually ‘ambush’ me had me soaking wet long before he even touched me. When we found the right place, we wouldn’t need more than a look at each other for confirmation—we’d just know…
I’d show up to these walks wearing short flowing skirts and barely-there-panties for easy access; always prepared, like a good scout.
On an early spring walk along the train tracks on patches of melting snow, we found a shaded area under a bridge. There, with my hands clenching onto the metal pier, we engaged in a rather chilly quicky. But, with his warm breath in my neck and the brush of air each time a train full of passengers swooshed by us, it was pretty damn hot nonetheless.
Did someone catch a glimpse? Maybe. What mattered was the idea that they could have.
Another time, a stroll around an industrial part of town landed us atop a low factory roof. Being the weekend, the surrounding buildings looked empty, but with hundreds of windows facing us the likelihood that some overtime workers or other stragglers got a front-row-peek at the action was still fairly likely.
Again, what mattered was the possibility of that and the feeling of excitement it added.
The sneaky walk is definitely my favorite flavor of exhibitionism. Depending on your location it’s quite achievable and the risk factor varies based on how well you choose your spot as well as your comfort level. In this case, the hunt is at least as good as the kill and that’s exactly what makes it so irresistibly sexy.
Public bathroom
The vast majority of public restrooms aren’t exactly seductive: They lack privacy, space, and often cleanliness too. As with the coveted sex bucket list item, airplane lavatories, I struggle to see the appeal.
I’ve admittedly gone there, a few times, but I’ll spare you my sloppy clubbing chronicles inspired by heat-of-the-moment passion — and vodka sodas with lime—because that sentence is far sexier than any of the experiences that followed.
I did, nonetheless have one amazing bathroom bang a few years ago: My lover took me out for birthday lunch at the restaurant of a large hotel in the dead-center of the city. I didn’t understand why he took me there, of all the nice spots in the area—not until after the meal when he firmly, yet discreetly, led me towards the elevator and pushed the button next to the spa and fitness center.
“We’re guests here, remember? Relax!” he whispered cheekily as he continued to lead me down a corridor and into a sparkly clean and tastefully tiled bathroom.
The steamy up-against-the-wall-ordeal was made hotter by the sound of other guests outside the door, who’d be hard bent not to understand exactly what was going on behind ours. Each time that happened, my lover would wrap his hand around my mouth and push me harder up against the wall.
In conclusion, sex in bathrooms can stink, in every meaning of the word. But, if you come across the right one; one that is clean, spacious, and a tad more private than your average stall, they can also be sizzling!
In the end, exhibitionistic and public sex isn’t for everyone. It can require hiking or even climbing, and you might, literally, get your hands and knees dirty.
But for all the little daredevils and closeted show-offs out there, a sneaky nooky can be just the extra spice you’re looking for. Though circumstances don’t always allow for complete climactic experiences, they’re always an adventure and often the hottest kind of foreplay and fuel for your imaginations.
And as always, be smart and stay safe!
