Ena interviews her friends

My Friend, the Squirting Expert

Sam (34), shares from his well of knowledge and experience with female ejaculation

Sam first discovered squirting about ten years ago, by coincidence. Since then, he’s helped more women squirt than he can count. I tried to calculate how much liquid he could have possibly helped extract in those years but fell short since the amount of ejaculate varies from 0.3ml to more than 150ml each time.

The same source states that somewhere between 10–50% of women are able to squirt, while Sam would argue that the percentage is much closer to 100%. It was exactly this remark, when the two of us discussed the phenomena a couple of months back, which made me want to pay him a visit to learn more.

Lucky for me, my friend “the squirt guy” is basically my neighbor, and he invited me to “pop over”—not for a demonstration—but to receive an overflow of hands-on-knowledge, straight from the source.

Besides making women squirt, what’s your kink?

I don’t really have a kink. I’m fascinated with people who have distinct kinks, where they’re all about feet, or pee, or pain, and they need that to get off. I’ve never been that guy.

I’m naturally dominant and it was a role I fell into.

Would you ever be submissive?

I’m a really big guy, and the image of me bending over sounds more funny than sexy, but never say never…

There’s this actress who’s a Mistress, and her thing is teasing guys, telling them that they can’t cum until she gets her pleasure from them.

I find that interesting because I think I can win!

Ha! So, it’s about winning?

Kind of… it speaks to my competitive instinct, and I could enjoy that.

How does one fall into kink?

I wasn’t one of those guys who had lots of sex in my teens. With my first girlfriend at 16, I was like, “I touched a boob, yeah!”

Things picked up during university, but not until I moved abroad at 21, and lived in many different places around the world, did my sexual horizons expanded accordingly.

When I came out of a relationship at 25, I started using dating apps, which changed everything: I started meeting people with non-vanilla preferences.

Women would say things like, “so…I like this-and-that” and, me, trying to be all cool, going, “yeah, sure, I’ll choke you”.

Kink as a discourse

Kink, for me, is about experimenting and responding to my partners: If I’m with someone really masochistic, I become super sadistic. If they love getting humiliated, I’ll humiliate the hell out of them. If they’re very sexual, I’ll do my best to make sure they have as many orgasms as they can handle.

This defines my relationship with kink; if the person I’m with isn’t enjoying themselves, I won’t either.

So, apart from being very sexual and dominant, I don’t have one specific kink — yet, I’m kinky as fuck!

Speaking of winning: Does making someone squirt feel like winning to you?

It used to, but now it’s more expected.

The first squirt was an accident

I was fingering her, and because she was exceptionally wet, I was sliding in and out with ease and started going faster and harder. Suddenly, she exploded like a screaming volcano—in a good way. As she lay there, panting, I thought, “what the hell did I just do?”.

I was 25, so that was almost ten years ago.

The double-squirt

Later, a woman I dated invited someone we barely knew for an FMF threesome. It wasn’t my first, but I didn’t really know how to handle that dynamic. I knew what porn was telling me, but understood that reality was very different.

At one point they were both on their backs, kissing each other. I’m severely right-handed, so my left hand is basically a nothing hand. I couldn’t just be pleasuring one, so I tried licking one whilst fingering the other. This hurt my neck, so I switched to using one hand on each, adapting this scorpionesque move, with my fingers pointed upward.

Then, at the exact same moment, they both squirted. I’ll never forget it—it was like a Vegas Bellagio Fountain show moment.

My first thought was “fuck, my couch is ruined—this is amazing!”

Can all women do it?

I’m no doctor, but according to my own experience, I do think so.

The sensitive vagina

Some are more sensitive than others, and therefore I can’t use my regular technique, which means applying quite a lot of force. They can still get there, but it takes a gentler approach, and you won’t get the same fountain effect — more like a puddle in your hand.

The squirting mental block

Some are more predisposed to eruptions than others, and some have mental blocks. I’ve been with a few women where, when I can tell it’s just about to happen—when I can feel the extra wetness and fluids emerging—they panic, grab my hand and tell me to stop, saying it’s too much.

When we talk after, they usually admit that they felt afraid of peeing themselves and got scared. And who wants to piss themselves during sex, right? [laughter]

I can think of a few… [more laughter]

Exactly!

What do you like about squirting?

I do think it’s a lot of fun, and of course, it comes with a sense of accomplishment. But that’s no different from the satisfaction I feel when a partner reaches orgasm in general, or even when what I’m doing is making them soaking wet.

There’s the sense that you’re doing something right, and that feels good!

Since you say that you think all women can ejaculate, how many samples do you base your conclusion on?

I haven’t tried to count for years. 50 is too low of a number, while 100 sounds a bit too high. But up there.

What’s rounded up the numbers have been groups. I really enjoy group dynamics; threesomes, foursomes, fivesomes…and so on. Beyond the sex, they’re also lots of fun—with the right people: There’ll be music, someone’s lounging somewhere with a glass of wine, while someone else is fucking next to you. It’s great!

If you have five women as part of a group and make your way through, it quickly adds up.

So, there’s been a lot of different people — and in some instances, shit-tons of times with the same person. So, I’m quite confident when I say that basically everyone can do it.

As a slight disclaimer, I tend to have sex with others who are also very sexual. I’ll meet many women who I find attractive and intelligent, but if we don’t match sexually, it won’t work. I learned that years ago.

Women who love having sex tend to be more comfortable in their bodies and that, in turn, makes them more likely to squirt easily.

Being comfortable is really what it all comes down to.

Have you ever taught someone how to squirt? Would you consider giving workshops?

I did have a funny experience with someone I was seeing casually: She’d told her friend, who’d never squirted before, about me, and asked if she could send her over to experience it.

The mission

I accepted the challenge and the friend arrived at my house with this one objective. I was chill about it, but it was weird to have that pressure to perform—like I was offering a service.

I did nonetheless accomplish my mission, and I think one reason was that she was so certain that she could do it but hadn’t figured it out for herself, and she didn’t have the guy to do it either.

The private teacher request

Another woman asked me to hang out with her and her boyfriend and teach him. In the end, it never happened and I wouldn’t even know how to do that.

I’d have a hard time teaching just by telling, as opposed to by showing. Would I have gone there and done it to his girlfriend while he watched?

Would I do it? Possibly. But it would have to be a really relaxed situation. I can’t do sex in a cold environment and I can’t just turn it on—that’s not me.

Squirting isn’t something I can serve up, like “here you go!”. I feel like I’d have to kiss this person.

It’s not just pushing buttons

More than just a physical thing, it’s also very mental. It comes down to a culmination of things.

For someone to squirt she has to feel super sexy, and because some are scared to go there, you have to help them feel safe to let go. Therefore, make sure she’s comfortable, relaxed, highly aroused—and super wet.

This is one reason why the workshop scenario would be a challenge. And that’s disregarding all the ‘mess’.

Teaching by proxy

I do feel like I’m teaching a bit by proxy. With every woman that I’ve made squirt, they can take away how it felt, and then try to teach their future partners.

From experience, it’s still challenging to convey the how-tos to a partner…

If you have a great lover and want them to make you squirt, what would you say?

(suddenly I find myself interviewed by the interviewee…)

Hmmm, I think the challenge is to nail that strong, vigorous movement at the end; to combine the need for harder and faster without losing precision.

Exactly!

The technique

Technically, it comes down to are a few things:

Strength

What I do is not all that dexterous, but more about the angle. The moves you need to make her squirt comes less from the wrist, and more from the forearm and shoulder, so you need to be fairly strong.

Some women require rigorous stimulation; occasionally to the point where I’m literally lifting them up off the bed with one arm.

Stamina

You can locate the right spot and do the right movements, but if you can’t keep it going for a while, it won’t work.

Beyond strength, you have to be able to go–go–go–go…

If, when you get tired, you do like when you’ve been shopping and switch the bags to the other arm, you’ll lose momentum—and the whole build-up.

You’ll get to a point where strength is less important and you get into this train-motion and you realize that you can go on forever.

Is every woman different?

Yes, to the extent that all vaginas are different, but when you’ve seen enough, you recognize the parallels.

The moves

In terms of manual stimulation, there are only so many motions, and it boils down to a combination of about four varieties. Some require heavy clit stimulation and some light. Some want more fingers and some just one.

With squirting it generally comes down to a hook, or scorpion shape with the fingers, combined with a vigorous motion where you go both up-and-down and in-and-out at once.

Different vaginas require different combinations and intensities of each.

The trick is learning the different ones, and the right times to use them.

Squirting positions

Is she always on her back, or does it work in other positions?

Having her lie on her back is a good place to start, but other positions work too:

The doggy style squirt

Making someone squirt in this position can be really fun, and who wouldn’t want a wonderful butt in their face and have it spray all over you… But the movement uses different muscles; like painting a fence.

This is a pro-angle, so if you’re new, it’s hard, and it takes practice.

The ride’n’squirt

When she’s on top, it can be easy. The great thing about this position is that she can find the right way to angle herself to make herself feel good.

If she’s very close to orgasm, you can just lift her off, stick your hand in, and do the hook move, and have her squirt all over. If you get it right, it can be quite fast —and easier than if you start just with your hands.

You make it sound so easy!

It can be when you know how. But, I can imagine that it’s challenging if you’re in a committed relationship and you want your partner to make you squirt, and none of you have done it. Where do you start? Figuring it out is almost a matter of luck if you haven’t experienced it.

It’d be easier if you knew someone who could show you, or do it to you — but that’s also a bit weird:

“I’m just going to pop over to the squirt-guy. Five bucks a turn.” —It doesn’t work like that.

If I was to get super-specific:

Get her ready to burst

Warm-up

Start how you’d normally have sex, and do everything you do to get your partner wet: relax and arouse her with lots of kissing, touching and foreplay.

Turn on the faucet

You want to give her pussy your full attention for a while; rub her clit and use your fingers for manual stimulation.

Don’t start with the squirting moves too soon, as the friction will make her dry up if she’s not ready.

Make her as wet as you possibly can; turn her into a waterfall.

Add lube, spit or whatever you need, and turn her on in every way you know—body and mind.

Be hands-on

Your hand-technique is important. Everyone should, in theory, be really good at fingering because it’s the first place where we’re allowed to begin when we start having sex.

For many, using their hands is their main way of bringing their partners to orgasm.

Without good manual skills, you won’t make anyone squirt.

As a woman, if your partner can’t bring you to orgasm with their hands alone, squirting will be hard. You don’t need a squirt master, but you need someone who can do this.

There are many ways to learn, and women can also teach their partners what motions they like, how many fingers, and so on.

Climb to the summit

If you’re dexterous enough to finger her, while playing with her clit, using either one or two hands, you’re on the right path; you know when to speed up and slow down, and you’re familiar enough with the vagina to know how it feels at its peak wetness.

Locate the g-spot

When you reach that point, you’re right between an orgasm and something else—that’s when you can go for the squirt.

If you haven’t already been stimulating it, now is when you have to find the g-spot. Point your fingers up, towards her belly and find an area that has a slightly different texture.

There’s a bump that you can almost ‘hook’ behind. While you’re moving vigorously, you also have to be sensitive to what you’re doing because you don’t want to hurt her. Doing this, she’ll get wetter and wetter.

“Where’s all this liquid coming from? Who knows? Who cares?”

Go!

Then you just keep building. If she’s willing to go there and you’re sensitive enough to read her, you can adjust, and you’ll make her squirt.

It’s harder to put this into words than doing it. But, if you’re generally good in bed and can get her to that point of arousal just before she has an orgasm through manual stimulation, then you can also make her squirt.

The problem is that many, from my experience, are not that good in bed, and that’s what they have to work on first.

Most couples that I talk to, have a routine that they always do, which very often involves the woman doing most of the moves to make herself cum.

Do you have any advice to those who’ve never squirted, but would like to?

First, don’t make it a big deal. It’s just another thing and it won’t change your life. Many say that it’s not even as good as a real orgasm, but a different kind of intense feeling.

Don’t think you’re missing out on the epitome of orgasms.

Secondly, if you’re a woman and you always bring yourself to orgasm during sex, you can’t expect a squirting orgasm with your partner. If you orgasm quite easily with yourself, but your partner can’t do it without your help, focus on that before trying to squirt.

Women let their partners off the hook way too easily!

Not only does it hold them back from getting what they want, but for their partners not to know their way around their pussies keep them from learning all kinds of other cool things in bed.

It’s sad when men don’t know how to do this.

Of course, it’s hot to watch a woman get herself off, once in a while, but you still have to know how to do it!