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com/medium-should-buy-the-kinja-comment-system-and-slap-it-on-here-788b92c9cbda">
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<h2>Medium Should Buy the Kinja Comment System and Slap It on Here</h2>
<div><h3>Ev, Why Didn’t You Buy the Gawker Pieces When You Had the Chance?</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/alperen-3107704ee719">
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<h2>Alperen,</h2>
<div><h3>Thanks so much for letting me know. I was wondering why this piece was getting SO MUCH LOVE. I’m surprised that the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/norwegians-how-dumb-is-trump-7c36aabb4a30">
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<h2>Norwegians? How Dumb Is Trump?</h2>
<div><h3>It’s Swedes, Not Norwegians, That We Want More of</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/tortoni-416a55cc74c3">
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<h2>Tortoni</h2>
<div><h3>I grew up in Hastings, a suburb of New York, so it sounds like a lie when I say that I ate pizza maybe once a year when…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/this-was-great-368474926b7c">
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<h2>This was great.</h2>
<div><h3>I live in an area full of immigrants called “retirees”. They move to my state for the low taxes. The other states have…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/my-predictions-for-2018-7154d175eecf">
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<h2>My Predictions for 2018</h2>
<div><h3>Ugh. I don’t want to write this, but as someone whose life is almost entirely motivated by a sense of “obligation”…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/why-does-medium-hate-blogging-d2c3d6cebe9">
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<h2>Why Does Medium Hate Blogging?</h2>
<div><h3>The Above is a Standard Clickbait Headline (the author does not believe Medium hates blogging). Please see chapter 12…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-last-dick-on-earth-f2d4a84a1cc0">
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<h2>The Last Dick on Earth</h2>
<div><h3>[The season is over. This is off-season dreck. When Winter comes and the Kachinas go back to their mountain homes, we…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/2017-draft-queue-junk-drawer-74c1e46e0d20">
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<h2>2017 Draft Queue Junk Drawer</h2>
<div><h3>The hour is getting late, and while I’m aware that we haven’t even started planning the 2017 Septemberfest, I’m not…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ad-R0Dn-5up2PIMV02xh6g.png)"></div>
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</div><h1 id="101a">NaNoWriMo: The Long Dreck</h1><p id="8cd3">Don’t try this unless you like black licorice, grapefruit juice, and black coffee. This is my attempt at a “novel”.</p><div id="8702" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/index-to-the-long-dreck-d699232cc55c">
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<h2>Index to the Long Dreck</h2>
<div><h3>Prologue: I Give You Fair Warning</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.co</p></div>
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</div><h1 id="5699">The 2017 Season</h1><div id="ed9b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/report-on-septemberfest-fd1356734ecf">
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<h2>Report on Septemberfest</h2>
<div><h3>You were invited. I hope you came. Hereafter lies my recollection of events, but my memory is faulty and, as is the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/youre-invited-7d08d161ff2f">
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<h2>You’re Invited</h2>
<div><h3>Tradition dictates that we have one post where I invite you, the writer-readers, to the end-of-the-season metafictional…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/2017-draft-queue-junk-drawer-74c1e46e0d20">
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<h2>2017 Draft Queue Junk Drawer</h2>
<div><h3>The hour is getting late, and while I’m aware that we haven’t even started planning the 2017 Septemberfest, I’m not…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ad-R0Dn-5up2PIMV02xh6g.png)"></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/open-the-chumbox-c14855bf35ad">
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<h2>Open The Chumbox</h2>
<div><h3>While I was trying to google “How to watch the GGG-Canelo Alvarez fight for free” this afternoon, Claire, the clerk…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/ertugrul-resurrection-a-television-odyssey-57558ec7383b">
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<h2>Ertugrul Resurrection: A Television Odyssey</h2>
<div><h3>I recently discovered one of the upsides of globalization. For years I’ve complained that I can’t watch television from…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="e992" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/interview-with-a-dragon-4a5c38c3365f">
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<h2>Interview With a Dragon</h2>
<div><h3>In an effort to garner some claps, I decided to pander to current tastes and interview a dragon. If you are new to…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/up-from-the-hogshead-9ec2e0a69b43">
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<h2>Up From the Hogshead</h2>
<div><h3>[Emerges from the basement through the bulkhead. Belly distended, faculties largely in tact.]</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/5-nt-the-clap-1c42087e49d9">
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<h2>5 NT = The Clap</h2>
<div><h3>Everybody Clap Your Hands</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/suburban-shaman-death-rebirth-exchanges-b34b4d01969">
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<h2>Suburban Shamanism: Death, Rebirth, and Exchanges</h2>
<div><h3>The summer course you have enrolled in is “Suburban Shamanism 404: Death, Rebirth, and Exchanges.” If you haven’t taken…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*A4YeSqA1GiQjdUJ0oyvjjQ.jpeg)"></div>
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</div><div id="1dbc" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/midsummer-medium-rant-f1bd35cb4bb7">
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<h2>Midsummer Medium Rant</h2>
<div><h3>You are kind, KrisCross, and I’m going to use your comment as a jumping off point for my midsummer Medium rant. This is…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-2017-mediuman-awards-4ff1e9caef8b">
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<h2>The 2017 Mediuman Awards</h2>
<div><h3>[Nominations for the 2017 Medes were done back here. Don’t come crying to me if you didn’t win. Blame the algorithm.]</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="894f" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/announcing-the-2017-medes-f5f18247f87d">
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<h2>Announcing the 2017 Medes</h2>
<div><h3>Don’t Worry, YOU’VE ALREADY WON!</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Q8bm8MxwQr3vJbUWEKaCFw.png)"></div>
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</div><div id="737c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-blt-77c954bc1dc4">
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<h2>The BLT</h2>
<div><h3>Yesterday, Lisa Renee dropped a pearl of blogging goodness into the sea of dreck here on Medium. Strangely, it happened…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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</div><div id="c660" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/gmos-wed-like-to-see-f0b76c1059a3">
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<h2>GMOs We’d like to See</h2>
<div><h3>Summertime, and the writing is easy. If you write listicles, that is. Listicles are to blogging what hot dogs and…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ZeoMzkuYFZsKHgzwChg8PA.jpeg)"></div>
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</div><div id="66c1" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/announcing-the-2017-medes-f5f18247f87d">
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<div>
<h2>Announcing the 2017 Medes</h2>
<div><h3>Don’t Worry, YOU’VE ALREADY WON!</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Q8bm8MxwQr3vJbUWEKaCFw.png)"></div>
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</div><div id="25a8" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-clerk-d7d03f427122">
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<h2>The Clerk</h2>
<div><h3>I have to admit that we haven’t gotten much done since securing underwritting by the Russians for the season. I…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="92f1" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/where-could-i-go-but-to-the-lord-353564089698">
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<h2>Where Could I Go but to the Lord?</h2>
<div><h3>I have a hard time staying off religion. To me it’s like bad food or television. I know I shouldn’t indulge, but I…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*h1hqSv5akuhdqvw3XvyCaA.png)"></div>
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</div><div id="9d79" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/why-i-am-rooting-for-heather-watson-dc450c3b95ff">
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<h2>Why I am Rooting for Heather Watson</h2>
<div><h3>We’re on the Same “Team”</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*_n4OT_AB10cyA95cREdSbA.jpeg)"></div>
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</div><div id="7233" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/a-a-couple-of-notes-for-the-european-office-686afa88bff9">
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<h2>A Couple of Notes for the European Office</h2>
<div><h3>First, the “she used her spit to clean up my streaming mascara” is a grade-A blog post, and I am very thankful that you…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="3282" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/an-interview-with-athena-5a1352e77e30">
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<h2>An Interview With Athena</h2>
<div><h3>As I’ve pointed out, The Athenaeum is not living up to its Mission Statement. Yes, we have a mission statement. Please…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="12ef" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/idlewild-south-9d2ad02a9538">
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<h2>Idlewild South</h2>
<div><h3>Greg Allman Probably Had More To Do With Me Choosing a College in Virginia Than I Would Like to Admit</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="8caa" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/not-fixed-like-the-northern-star-1e7f98331a34">
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<h2>Not Fixed Like the Northern Star</h2>
<div><h3>Trump as Caesar is offensive… offensively dumb, that is</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="e48d" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-sorrows-of-gin-13e45db2d635">
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<h2>The Sorrows of Gin</h2>
<div><h3>Given that today is Friday, I imagine that some of you Mediumans have a date with John Barleycorn tonight. I know I do…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="35da" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/bad-things-about-the-end-of-the-circus-a3b395d7824d">
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<h2>Five Bad Things About the End of the Circus</h2>
<div><h3>Ringling Brothers and Barnum & Bailey folded up its tent.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="135b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-editor-calls-me-to-a-lunch-b157538d6289">
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<h2>The Editor Calls Me to a Lunch</h2>
<div><h3>The office is almost in full operation. Today I was busy entering free verse into the “publishing calendar” for the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*PPJyFg23m3QGfQc6v80v0g.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="5b1e" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-tribunes-2017-commencement-address-601d27ebc97c">
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<h2>The Tribune’s 2017 Commencement Address</h2>
<div><h3>[Note From the Editors: Each year it is our custom to publish a transcript of the Tribune of Medium’s commencement…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="28e7" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/lets-make-fun-of-a-state-texas-78dbe0ce1635">
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<h2>Let’s Make Fun of a State: Texas</h2>
<div><h3>I Know This Is Going to Be a BIG Mistake</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="4f78" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/letters-pee-wee-7cbd905a9e55">
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<div>
<h2>Letters & Pee Wee</h2>
<div><h3>Yesterday I took the bedsheets off the office furniture and plugged in the ASS42000 Verityper</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="828c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-state-of-medium-address-6bf35fb3ecb3">
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<div>
<h2>The State of Medium Address</h2>
<div><h3>[Edit: The following is the “State of The Medium” speech delivered by the first Tribune, Gutbloom, before the Medium…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*apKH1OfKectbLz4jRk1dVg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="dae7" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/tweets-from-world-war-iii-db457d4dcc86">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Tweets From World War III</h2>
<div><h3>You want dreck? I’ll give you dreck.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*EXygl1Ne0JeLMe7jRf33Xg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="6e58" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/great-works-of-literature-ruined-by-texting-c857254be9fd">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Great Works of Literature Ruined by Texting</h2>
<div><h3>Improved Communication Has a Way of Ruining Plots</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*4c70gMhBHDjjFIECKDGlrA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="4270" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/spring-please-ae27a9297f54">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Spring, please.</h2>
<div><h3>I am eager for Spring, and while the calendar, the planets, and Major League Baseball have declared it Spring, I have…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*XCMOAEAJFizn7TBt_ntXMg.jpeg)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="bd5f" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/my-interview-with-steve-bannon-d210351eb41c">
<div>
<div>
<h2>My Interview With Steve Bannon</h2>
<div><h3>Fan Fiction The Way We Like It</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*DYr-XyWg2P2Jr9TBgfSmvQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><h1 id="ad63">The 2016 Season</h1><div id="36cc" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/report-on-septemberfest-aae08e68d50a">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Report on Septemberfest</h2>
<div><h3>I understand. You have been waiting for a report on Septemberfest. You may think that this retelling is a couple days…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="b3c7" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/order-of-events-282f3c4bad3a">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Order of Events</h2>
<div><h3>The Septemberfest Notes</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*JHHjAGn-58NSpUNqC_Z9NQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="1c63" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/summer-field-day-4451bc7845c3">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Summer Field Day</h2>
<div><h3>“Man o’man, the dog days of August are upon us. Medium is a desert. The lulz is gone. The curators have abandoned the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*fphbteuuVNhSlykO85_6JQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="bdfc" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/interview-with-a-cuttlefish-d80a74b4ad39">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Interview With a Cuttlefish</h2>
<div><h3>Oliver Shiny recently mentioned cuttlefish in a post. Obviously, he’s an intellectual. Like cats, cuttlefish sell…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*EWPYqRrkquFt2JkfyBxU4Q.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="1cbe" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/2016-mid-term-report-c94dc334aed0">
<div>
<div>
<h2>2016 Mid-Term Report</h2>
<div><h3>It’s As Bad as You Would Think It Is</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*3HA7FbVm2cqkg2d7HIuCfw.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="55d6" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/well-the-olympic-spirit-is-alive-and-well-1147e57a1318">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Well, The Olympic Spirit Is Alive and Well</h2>
<div><h3>The countries of the world have gathered for competition in Brazil and last night they showed off their colors in the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*LRbdsTwhe1ma9qoIfSLhYA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="80a4" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/lets-make-fun-of-a-state-rhode-island-7e1ec8c7f9dc">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Let’s Make Fun of a State: Rhode Island</h2>
<div><h3>Land of the Coffee Milk Cabinet</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*hf3X77qna7uCBQfxRjmE6A.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="a436" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/i-accept-the-niantic-partys-nomination-for-mayor-of-medium-bebc555daa3e">
<div>
<div>
<h2>I Accept the Niantic Party’s Nomination for Mayor of Medium</h2>
<div><h3>[Here is the text of the speech delivered by Medium Mayoral candidate Gutbloom on the last day of the Niantic party’s…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0OO6qaGAVXMOlCtKr8JkjQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="f44a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/why-i-dont-live-in-a-dwell-home-f25b9b49d478">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Why I don’t Live in a Dwell Home</h2>
<div><h3>What’s Wrong With This Picture?</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*L0a1qT3x_rHDsw7G2fuScA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="463a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/lock-up-the-bitch-a289831ba698">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Lock Up the Bitch</h2>
<div><h3>Night Two of the Niantic Party Convention</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0OO6qaGAVXMOlCtKr8JkjQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="f49a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-yelp-of-gutblooms-partner-650a0a85aa68">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Yelp of Gutbloom’s Partner</h2>
<div><h3>Niantic Party Convention: Day 1</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0OO6qaGAVXMOlCtKr8JkjQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="ada4" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-hat-goes-in-the-ring-a379c301309b">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Hat Goes in the Ring</h2>
<div><h3>I was sitting at my desk yesterday using a cocktail of Naphthalene, bleach, and baking soda to try to get the seagull…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Edspm7kQQcPXfX4BFY1kmA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="080b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/zappa-to-the-rescue-8c5c3347d7ff">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Zappa to the Rescue</h2>
<div><h3>It’s an ugly time, isn’t it? The Orlando shooting, Alton Sterling, Philando Castile, and the Dallas officers. Is it…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*F88ttsN99QEpNTAhkQPQ4g.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="30e3" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-table-of-condiments-2b54fc15b428">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Table of Condiments</h2>
<div><h3>If you were around last year you may have seen my “Metaphysic of Condiments.” It was, I think, the post that made the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*kgjSVPZaYfeSDEZLO77XTg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="dafd" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/report-on-the-fourth-b6651905825f">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Report on the Fourth</h2>
<div><h3>When we have a get-together I always report on the event. Sometimes it takes a while to get the post on Medium because…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*6fCvWDZdnXH5wcIWZav0SQ.jpeg)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="9754" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/suburban-shamanism-and-the-fourth-9fd3532beb61">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Suburban Shamanism and the Fourth</h2>
<div><h3>The Fourth of July is an important holiday for a suburban shaman because several sacred tasks have to be completed…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="e079" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/fourth-of-july-invitation-83d4c4e04d09">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Fourth of July Invitation</h2>
<div><h3>This is the Fourth of July weekend the world over. In the United States it is a long weekend that includes Independence…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="9d19" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/fan-fiction-the-way-we-like-it-ice-cube-eeyore-and-serena-williams-1ab2da3bde05">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Fan Fiction The Way We Like It: Ice Cube, Eeyore, and Serena Williams</h2>
<div><h3>About a year ago I lamented that if Medium wanted to be a proper blogging platform it needed more bad poetry.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*DlwJCkRFkKFLFTONYY6iug.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="ea4b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/da-vinci-only-child-f8013218d1f1">
<div>
<div>
<h2>da Vinci: Only Child</h2>
<div><h3>Who Do You Sub-Vocalize For?</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="8f8a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/dog-breeds-wed-like-to-see-8d9524b1eeea">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Dog Breeds We’d Like to See</h2>
<div><h3>We hear a lot of talk about innovation. Medium is filled with stories about technological, biomedical, and financial…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*EdfqKOzTrRdhr3gAEPrJQQ.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="c8de" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-chum-box-28f0300ff8b0">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Chum Box</h2>
<div><h3>I came into the office full of energy this morning. I don’t even have time to tell you what Joe was doing.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*KHjMYKFHds_H69AZcair1A.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="3aa0" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-solstice-67911e884509">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Solstice</h2>
<div><h3>Today, being Tuesday, I was counting out medications into a weekly med box at my desk. Joe was behind me sitting in his…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*kDkQix8ORmlyHp6q5fTeYg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="1787" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/childhood-sweets-15a2fc04d9ad">
<div>
<div>
<
Options
h2>Childhood Sweets</h2>
<div><h3>This is the continuation of me blogging meals that I ate forty years ago. The series is based on the conviction that…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ZZvYqoRlfW_Xq2-QVthpuA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="9aa5" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/pee-wees-replacement-fa03dc502560">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Pee Wee’s Replacement</h2>
<div><h3>It’s hard to start this story because I don’t have a flunky with whom to share my fictional burdens, but I’m on the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*DhdJv05XZr2-3YBBJynb8Q.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="61ce" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/lon-shapiro-youve-just-solved-a-problem-for-me-380e280d4ba5">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Lon Shapiro, you’ve just solved a problem for me.</h2>
<div><h3>Yes, it’s true, Colette, piñatas are spiritually and metaphorically important to many Medium writers. We have a piñata…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="1044" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/toast-23423e7d2aa8">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Toast</h2>
<div><h3>Yesterday, I promised I would start on a food blogging binge, and so I have.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ym7r2mI-cc9mFOhPwSG4bA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="e638" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-early-meals-f5127b2bb7a3">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Early Meals</h2>
<div><h3>Justin Cox 🌮 pointed out to me on POMQA that I was featured under the food tag. That seemed strange because I thought…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*q8VjpMLT47K6k1ytfraTEA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="8b0c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/a-failure-of-formatting-7c77274ea0c7">
<div>
<div>
<h2>A Failure of Formatting</h2>
<div><h3>[Editor’s Note: I promised that if Medium provided tables I would use them to make moar funny. Medium supports Airtable…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="ed4c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/medium-needs-n00b-protection-1f4b17fe457">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Medium Needs n00b Protection</h2>
<div><h3>This is not an article about how to increase your recommends on Medium, but I will let you in on a little secret. The…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*TLSXdYk_2zXW3BEBMzKdjg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="ea1e" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-problem-with-pee-wee-51f22e394f28">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Problem With Pee Wee</h2>
<div><h3>Most of my dispatches from the Mill begin with me commenting on what Pee Wee is doing in the office. For example, last…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*UDYD_PCYnvRQ9WIL33E9PA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="b397" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/on-tagging-and-googles-allo-service-f1a4b5298036">
<div>
<div>
<h2>On Tagging and Google’s Allo Service</h2>
<div><h3>I recently read this article by Soren Larson about Google’s new Allo service.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*ZYxHAYbsUuzEp8BMH5eh0Q.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="852b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-commencement-address-491ea29e84fc">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Commencement Address</h2>
<div><h3>[Here is the text of the commencement address delivered to the graduating class of Union College by his honor, Tribune…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*mCDXNuhF2cDFFNO0FgKoQg.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="f35e" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/on-bathrooms-3e775eadb8b4">
<div>
<div>
<h2>On Bathrooms</h2>
<div><h3>Welcome to the Men’s Room</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*YE3G3aF6DTZBMG3zTt0KvA.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="03c7" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/review-discovery-abounds-in-camera-watch-dd210617e094">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Review: Discovery Abounds in ‘Camera Watch’</h2>
<div><h3>Sunday, May 15: ‘Camera Watch’, an exhibition of photographs by Medium’s most intriguing artist, opened on Sunday…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*pQYcVHQ78VzAHWFB6Agb6Q.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="3681" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-convocation-768873fe6b22">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Convocation</h2>
<div><h3>The weather was good today, so we held the Spring Convocation. It was a success. You were all invited:</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*seZ2VnmEgK_3GbKvP9txWw.png)"></div>
</div>
</div>
</a>
</div><div id="10e7" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/apps-wed-like-to-see-c2e539448047">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Apps We’d Like to See</h2>
<div><h3>A while ago, Ellie Guzman wrote “Future Movies” speculating on movies that she would like to see made:</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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</a>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-making-of-dumbot-7d69d2d917e2">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Making of dumBot</h2>
<div><h3>Well, the bots have taken over… almost. I don’t understand why I have to be the one to program dumBot, but they say…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wQUFEZlsxpkOsLP3Xwr_rg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="7c6a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-maypole-convocation-b512da7cdc66">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Maypole Convocation</h2>
<div><h3>You Are All Invited</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*CWoEFxXQhqoDE57PusFSPw.png)"></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/a-visit-from-the-it-department-17f5ed807ef7">
<div>
<div>
<h2>A Visit From the IT Department</h2>
<div><h3>So today, Emma, the woman from IT, came into my office to set up my new computer for the summer season. She looks like…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wQUFEZlsxpkOsLP3Xwr_rg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="271a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/let-s-make-fun-of-a-state-south-dakota-bcc2adf5a3b1">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Let’s Make Fun of a State: South Dakota</h2>
<div><h3>Prairie Means “Meadow”</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*8usYxpVVIyaj0dLbDoIZKw.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="16b0" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/b0c2238a0c40">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Happy Birthday, Elizabeth</h2>
<div><h3>I’m one of the Royal loving Americans that the English like to heap scorn on. I spent a good part of my younger life…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*nWUxquKCumuMRCBlWbnd7w.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="fef6" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/17f5ed807ef7">
<div>
<div>
<h2>A Visit From the IT Department</h2>
<div><h3>So today, Emma, the woman from IT, came into my office to set up my new computer for the summer season. She looks like…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wQUFEZlsxpkOsLP3Xwr_rg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="edf0" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/3f30a07096c8">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Editor Calls Me to Lunch</h2>
<div><h3>Part I of a Four Part Bore-a-thon</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*woaTHp9Qz0Apeqk5vqu_wQ.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="f29d" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/43217eb75d1b">
<div>
<div>
<h2>First and Second Courses</h2>
<div><h3>The Second in the “Song of Stupidity and Dreck Series”</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*wIm6y175ThmVcSWpx96wZA.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="41ff" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/2842c16cf491">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Salad and the Talking Fish</h2>
<div><h3>The Third Book Is Always The Dullest</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*z-p7uSqE7L8svQL9OGNPRQ.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="6553" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/6713b50c682">
<div>
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<h2>The Final Course</h2>
<div><h3>In Which We Abandon Fantasy for Bots and Trade</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*flj1d0mjupkKR2e_37IJpA.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="ec2c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/8ecbfdfbcf86">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The State of Medium Address</h2>
<div><h3>[Edit: The following is the ”State of The Medium” speech delivered by the first Tribune, Gutbloom, before the Medium…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7WqGsO7NYsf2ObGNkqAP4Q.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="e43a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/b69ff58b7804">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Return of Percy</h2>
<div><h3>The Mill is not yet open. As I explained to some people in Slack, the piñata court is still covered in snow and we can…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*YFmgyhMv4jtMfE9qsS5GgQ.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><h1 id="40fa">The “Extended” Winter Season</h1><p id="9abe">Normally I take the winter off, but I was having so much fun on Medium I kept going. Here is some of the winter dreck.</p><p id="5ed3">A lot of what I wrote during the winter was published in <a href="https://medium.com/slackjaw">Slackjaw</a>, the A-1 publication for funny on Medium.</p><div id="293e" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/4f777ef2459">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Reinterpretation of Emojis</h2>
<div><h3>Towards a New Iconography</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*QmrO4fU6LX_2lwG4cOoDwQ.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="d1bc" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/42b47ddad074">
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<div>
<h2>A Reform Is Needed</h2>
<div><h3>The most orthodox elements of many religions are not the most unchanged elements. The truly orthodox, the strict…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*WhWigUAx4xKcGEx54Iq01g.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="8d39" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/e0d9916cc1f0">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Texts From My 86 Year-Old Father</h2>
<div><h3>My father doesn’t text. If he could text, this is what my phone would look like:</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
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</a>
</div><div id="41f2" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/b942b5498f73">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Growth Hack 4 Medium: 10 Ways to Draft on Millennials and Achieve Internet Stardom¹</h2>
<div><h3>There has been an awakening… of Millennial hatred on Medium. Like many trends, Millennial hate existed on the Internet…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
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</a>
</div><div id="eebf" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/cc0b855d5fb9">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Dream of a Prehensile Penis</h2>
<div><h3>In this article,</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Ad6Td8QZs2eLjPCDjvhmSg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="7923" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/bfece0361119">
<div>
<div>
<h2>How I Ruined Medium</h2>
<div><h3>We’re having a discussion over at POMQA community on Slack about how male Medium suddenly feels.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*a0d-F_n9HPW8u6s3S03I5Q.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="c7ba" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/c38948e13df9">
<div>
<div>
<h2>40/5 Reasons Why I’m Right and You’re Wrong About Listicles</h2>
<div><h3>8/8: Listicles are to the 20o0’s what the novel was to Victorian Europe</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*RKI2t3eLZ4rS7vw2i520ew.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="6c25" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/df6877bcd485">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Let’s Make Fun of a State. How About…. Michigan?</h2>
<div><h3>Or: In MI Colon There Is a Magic Petoskey</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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</a>
</div><div id="dc36" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/6e7e21dc1fc">
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<div>
<h2>There’s No Need to Kill Babies to Kill Baby Hitler</h2>
<div><h3>Well, it didn’t take long. John Battelle said that 2016 would be a breakout year for Medium and this week Medium has…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*OXbk1infD0Ql5bpJroznXQ.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="256a" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/21b76d74fcf4">
<div>
<div>
<h2>VR Worlds We’d Like to See</h2>
<div><h3>The recent Consumer and Electronics Show might have been boring. I didn’t go, but looking at the “videos” page of the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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</a>
</div><div id="7831" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/fee4e7f69943">
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<h2>Why VC Rich People Are Bad at Being Rich</h2>
<div><h3>Holly Wood really is the brightest flame on Medium right now. It’s time some average white guy stepped in and tried to…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
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</a>
</div><div id="0f93" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/c1ff042acbb2">
<div>
<div>
<h2>How to Expand the Star Wars Universe</h2>
<div><h3>Having read Hassan S. Ali’s two posts:</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*Di4n5UCInA9gjDscgUJYkQ.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="311c" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/c33e150c9d66">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Why I Am Enjoying Medium Right Now</h2>
<div><h3>This takes a bit of explanation. Bear with me.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*PNiEUcliIIZaD7a7YGV6ag.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="005b" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/91cb656f652b">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Twenty Rules for a Successful Publication on Medium</h2>
<div><h3>If you haven’t looked at the masthead of Slackjaw, you should. You will see that I am listed as an editor. Editor. I…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*jYgKkFNSHxi9ebAgtYqTyA.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="bea8" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/8fdad9840866">
<div>
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<h2>Christmas Day</h2>
<div><h3>I can’t think of anything to write and I know the reason why. The blood is in my stomach. No air can get to my brain…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*z1l6v_bVIm0p-_r9gzX0yA.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="3563" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/62dc32441545">
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<h2>My Chocolate Selections</h2>
<div><h3>I like to eat bad chocolates, just like I like to drink bad coffee. At Yuletide, my family eats Whitman’s. When the…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*0q85WI208ghGr_8zsUx11Q.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="77a3" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/ae2551bd1129">
<div>
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<h2>The Case For Thanksgiving</h2>
<div><h3>I’m not a big fan of the holiday you call Candyfest.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*kANKhAAD0vJfar_jN6SKfg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="a425" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/87ad53dc3b9e">
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<h2>My Ten Lessons From Marriage</h2>
<div><h3>You are an old pro. Marriage is like moving to New York city. If you’re in NYC for 24 hours you’re a New Yorker. If you…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*MpKSd17_PNmFefGnYyrRYw.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="24fe" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/b22f74bbaee9">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Syrian Refugees? Easy Peasy, Lemon Squeezy</h2>
<div><h3>Obama is catching flak for pledging to take in 10,000 Syrian refugees.</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*qOpPZWvEjwzxI6chAR87Pw.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="fd00" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/3332475b28cf">
<div>
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<h2>I See You, Master Troll</h2>
<div><h3>Oh, most masterful trollwork, this is; the nascent academic sheen, the semi-vulnerable naivete, the apology at the end…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*UnUH8Se0Dm8dV0E7PbE8Gg.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><h1 id="3360">“Real” Writing</h1><p id="4534">For the first time in my adult life I wrote some “real” short stories. I was inspired by what people were doing on Medium, specifically TJ O’Neil, who has left us, <a href="undefined">Veronica Montes</a> and <a href="undefined">Lisa Renee</a>. I responded to a writing prompt in <a href="https://medium.com/made-up-words">Made Up Words</a> and they were kind enough to accept it. <a href="undefined">Lisa Renee</a> was the editor for both of these pieces, and even though I like to make fun of editors these stories would not exists without her help and encouragement.</p><div id="d2cb" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/30942d847f5a">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Sugar Cow</h2>
<div><h3>Gutbloom</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*2KRDVQDSe1sv0366yVjqlw.png)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="f9d4" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/82b7e254dce0">
<div>
<div>
<h2>A Crack in the Wall</h2>
<div><h3>By Gutbloom</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*exyV5tQoPpU9Qv72TCwiKA.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><div id="effa" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/the-escape-of-bruin-humphrey-d914d8e5ffca">
<div>
<div>
<h2>The Escape of Bruin Humphrey</h2>
<div><h3>By Gutbloom</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
<div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*7euYAcqEVKZceOOXT5orPQ.jpeg)"></div>
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</a>
</div><p id="6e2f">I also wrote something for Happiness Weekly at the invitation of <a href="undefined">Justin Cox 🌮</a>.</p><div id="e2e1" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/6698f037888d">
<div>
<div>
<h2>Happiness</h2>
<div><h3>Most of life hasn’t turned out like I thought it would. Time and time again, my daydreams, those distracted internal…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
</div>
<div>
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</div><h1 id="995e">The 2015 Season</h1><figure id="d56f"><img src="https://cdn-images-1.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:800/1*5nJ0ZuLdszC_Rue0d_aoVQ.png"><figcaption></figcaption></figure><p id="c2e5">“How the Sausage Is Made” are reports on the workings of Mr. Mildew Omnimedia. It is self-absorbed, solipsistic, navel-gazing, reality blogging, and, therefore, exactly what you were looking for on <b>Medium</b>, amirite?</p><p id="fcd2">In LIFO Order:</p><ul><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-end-of-summer-f227bdaf9cd4">The End of Summer</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-morning-after-19afb08195eb">The Morning After</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-order-of-events-9f9872e3baee">The Order of Events</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-invitation-deaac9fa2b1">The Invitation</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-august-solstice-party-15a06e2cfc0">The August Solstice Party</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/mid-term-report-10f401ae1a92">Mid-Term Report</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/the-meeting-df2da304e66">The Meeting</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/a-visit-from-charles-van-ness-49a96390cb22">A Visit From Charles Van Ness</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/summertime-when-the-dreck-comes-easy-7fc17a58bded">Summertime, When the Dreck Comes Easy</a></li><li><a href="https://readmedium.com/so-here-we-go-and-there-you-are-e966bf522e7b">Please Allow Me to Introduce Myself</a></li></ul><p id="7f7a">The following are genuine attempts at funny. It’s not our fault if they suck. We can’t afford rehearsal time in New York City. It’s not too late to turn back now.</p><div id="d250" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/a0b8eab342d3">
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<h2>Fan Fiction the Way We Like It: Kenneth Clark and Darth Revan</h2>
<div><h3>Diversity Comes to the Mill</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/97109b3114aa">
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<h2>Born For</h2>
<div><h3>I often wonder what I was “made for”. At this point in my life I have quite a long list in the negative. I know I wasn…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/d11386254978">
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<h2>How Now, Braunvieh?</h2>
<div><h3>The history of the dairy cow is the history of America. Dairy cows, like many Americans, came from Europe — and as soon…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/5a6533e60906">
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<h2>Five Ways Humans Were Cheated by Evolution</h2>
<div><h3>Back here I asked readers to vote on topics for the summer. Nobody responded, so you get what you get. If you are…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/bd796c69ce56">
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<h2>What If the Hindus Are Right?</h2>
<div><h3>My Take on Reincarnation</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/4bed492714c6">
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<h2>In Hell They Eat Mayonnaise</h2>
<div><h3>A Metaphysic of Condiments</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/6440d543174c">
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<h2>Interview With a Pig</h2>
<div><h3>What is a community without interaction? In the go-go days of LiveJournal you could create an easy poll. I used to post…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/69ae0584ba0d">
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<h2>Interview with The Minotaur</h2>
<div><h3>As a new writer on Medium, I thought I would start with some old dreck. Sorry about that, but until I figure out how…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/324a50399aa7">
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<h2>A Survey of</h2>
<div><h3>Suburban Shamanism</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/efa0a08a3b3b">
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<h2>Fan Fiction the Way We Like It</h2>
<div><h3>My complaints about Medium are growing shrill, even to my own ears. It seems clear I like it here and am staying for…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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</div><div id="e697" class="link-block">
<a href="https://readmedium.com/71525dda4f9a">
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<h2>The Bell Curve of Humor</h2>
<div><h3>Are Drugs funny anymore?</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/dd38a82e5d0a">
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<h2>I’m Not a Homo</h2>
<div><h3>It’s important You Know</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/4eb4653e6cf1">
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<h2>How To Be a Soul Blogger</h2>
<div><h3>In the 1987 surfing masterpiece/teen exploitation film, The North Shore (currently 6.4 stars on IMDB) a youth spends…</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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<a href="https://readmedium.com/155be9ae52a2">
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<h2>Nicknames We’d Like to See</h2>
<div><h3>Straightforward Generic Nicknames</h3></div>
<div><p>medium.com</p></div>
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