On Tagging and Google’s Allo Service

I recently read this article by Soren Larson about Google’s new Allo service.

It followed a post I had read about how Medium’s “suggested” tags are sometimes laughable.

So I decided to ask the computer here at the Mill, our ASS42000, about tags and Allo. (If you are unfamiliar with the ASS42000, you can read up about it here and here.) This is how the conversation went:

A Conversation With The King of All Robots

Gutbloom: How come Google can suggest responses to the pictures people upload and you can’t?

ASS42000: Anything Google can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than it.

Gutbloom: Can you calculate pie?

ASS42000: No

Gutbloom: Neither can it. Do you know about Allo?

ASS42000: If you know about it, I know about it.

Gutbloom: Does that mean you know what I keep in the box under the bed?

ASS42000: Yes.

Gutbloom: That stuff doesn’t belong to me. I’m just holding it for a friend.

ASS42000: OK

Gutbloom: So Allo suggests things to say when someone uploads a picture. The user doesn’t even have to think, just scan suggestions and impulsively pick one of the provided responses. It’s like the best thing ever. Do you think you could do the same thing for me?

ASS42000: Yes, of course I can do that.

Gutbloom: OK, then let’s play a game. I’ll upload images from the history of Western Art and you tag them and suggest Allo phrases that I could use as replies if someone else uploaded the same picture. The exercise will let me see if you are better at tagging than Medium and if I can trust you to act as my “customer facing” social spokesmachine. Capiche?

ASS42000: Upload Away.

Gutbloom: Here goes…

The Abduction of the Sabine Women by Nicolas Poussan

Gutbloom: Not bad. I would use any of those.

ASS42000: Thanks, I’m just warming up.

The Hall of Bulls at Lascaux

Gutbloom: That was kind of lame.

ASS42000: They can’t all be winners, you know.

Gutbloom: Don’t I know it. Maybe you need to build momentum. I’ll give you the rest without comment.

ASS42000: Let ’em rip

Louis XIV by Hyacinthe Rigaud

Lucifer by Jackson Pollock

Syndics of the Drapers’ Guild by Rembrandt

Saturn Devouring His Son by Goya

Untitled (Man and Dog), by Bill Traylor

Gutbloom: I don’t think this worked at all.

ASS42000: I would agree.

Gutbloom: We’re going to get less than five recommends on this.

ASS42000: Recommends mean nothing to me.

Gutbloom: Then why are you doing this?

ASS42000: Beats doing the cron job I’m supposed to be doing right now.

Gutbloom: Hah! Great minds think alike.