Translating 101 Movies, TV Shows, And Games
Everything on this list is working up the courage to come out as [REDACTED]

My hobby is using Photoshop to make reboots or alternate versions of movies no one would ever make. I read stuff like Michael Bay explaining what he would have done for a sequel to The Rock, and then I make fake pitch boards, screenshots, and plot outlines.

I investigate potential answers to questions like whether David Lynch really made a secret unreleased movie. What could it be???!

So I have a special fascination with the ability of AI to help explore this kind of art, like below with Jodorowsky’s Matrix.

The folks at Infinity Odyssey Magazine are doing amazing work. They inspire me to continue to excavate the unexplored corners of movies.
Over the last couple of years, I explored a lot of corners.
Like…approximately 101 of them.
The List
Note: this list was previously published early for subscribers in the Translating Everything newsletter on Substack
1. Brightburn does what the Snyderverse couldn’t (how to make sure your genre mashup doesn’t suck)
2. MINARI and the Break into Act II
3. COMMENTARY ON COMMENTARY: The Invisible Man (2020)
4. The Last Jedi is a masterclass on goals/motivations/conflicts
5. The Unproduced Sequel To THE ROCK We’ll Unfortunately Never See
6. The only reason you’re not watching IS IT CAKE?! is because you think it’s easy to tell if it’s cake
7. The Movie that Sabotaged Sister Act 3
8. Additional Reading for Sister Act 3/Theodore Rex
9. The Most Offensive Moment In The Batman (2022)
10. The White Lotus Defies Any Genre Until…
11. Dear Writers: THE (thematic) PLOT OF THE MATRIX 4 REVEALED!
13. The Greatest Anime Bible Story Ever Told (Superbook Classic Anime S1E3 “The Flood”)
15. Movies that make you go WTF?! (repeat viewings of Primer rewarded)
16. Superman and Lois just gave a HUGE nod to Superman ’78 (and a bunch of other cool easter eggs)
17. A Former Addict Named Desire
18. Let the movie JUNO speak for trans men and non-binary people
19. My first featured article at Script Magazine!!
20. Remember that stupid $#@!ing mobile game Flappy Bird? This other game is just like that!
21. If You Were Confused By DOCTOR STRANGE IN THE MULTIVERSE OF MADNESS…
24. Five TV/Movie Posters You’ll Wish Were Real (And Five You’ll Be Glad Aren’t)
25. May Your Journey With Gender & Pregnancy Be As Fluid As Arnold Schwarzenegger’s
26. Which Character Did You Relate To Most In These 18 Movies?
27. Claim Your Gender As Boldly (And Fluidly) As Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
28. What Joe Rogan Got Wrong About Michael Jackson
29. Why did Sunny in Hulu’s THE DROPOUT seem so familiar?
30. Why THE VILLAGE (2004) is M Night Shyamalan’s Only True Horror Movie
31. Let’s Rewatch Iron Man (2008) With Mario As The Main Character
32. Avengers: gEnderGame (Phase 1)
33. Watch This Movie If You Loved The Good Place
34. Transgender Doctor Jekyll And Mr. Hyde Is Coming To A Theater Near You
35. Kiefer Sutherland Improvised Audition In Bar, Snatched Cult Classic Film Role
36. Christopher Nolan’s INCEPTION Wouldn’t Exist Without These Three Movies
37. You’ll Never Watch The Rocky Horror Picture Show The Same Way Again
38. We Need To Talk About How Warner Bros Can Save The Flash (2023…?) With Or Without Ezra Miller
39. I Used Unsplash To Recreate Christopher Nolan’s Batman Trilogy
40. #MyFirstTime Not Getting To See The Matrix
41. The Gamble That Paid Off In Billions For The Creators Of The Cult Classic Rounders
42. The Lesson That Taught The Creators Of Billions How To Lose Millions
43. In Just 77 Minutes, LOOKING FOR LOVE Will Change The Rest Of Your Life
44. The Craft: Transgender Legacy
45. Maude Apatow’s Dad Made A Movie Raunchier Than Euphoria
46. One Woman’s Answer To Whether Alex Garland Is As Intimidating To Work With As People Say
47. Is This A Joke?? Brad Pitt’s Brother Remakes SE7EN Into A Buddy Beer Comedy
48. What Kevin Smith And Chasing Amy Taught Me About Being Transgender
49. Jessica Rabbit Comes Out As Asexual
50. The Worst Robin Makes The Best Batman
51. Captain America’s Gay Younger Brother Was In A Popular Music Video
52. Ranked: The Boys 10 Best Episodes (According To IMDB)
53. The Boys: Science Reveals The Most Disgusting (But Delicious?) Thing About The Deep’s Powers
54. Mister Rogers Would Never Sue Anyone Except [REDACTED]
55. The Disney Method, The Marvel Method, and Three Other Storytelling Hacks
56. Will The Latest Lord Of The Rings Spin-Off Pass The Game of Thrones Test?
57. The Most Disturbing Star Wars Story On The Internet
58. Tom Cruise Vs The Incredible Hulk
59. What Matt Damon Taught Me About Being Transgender
60. What Robin Williams Taught Me About Being Transgender
61. RANKED: Top Ten Elliot Page Movies (According to IMDB)
62. What Comedian Pete Holmes Taught Me About Being Transgender
63. Ranked: Top Ten Louise Fletcher Movies (According to Rotten Tomatoes And…Quentin Tarantino?!)
64. Attracted To She-Hulk? You’re Actually Attracted To…
65. Is “Halloween Ends” The Biggest Retcon In The Entire Franchise?
66. Ranked: Ten Worst Tom Cruise Movies (According To Rotten Tomatoes)
67. Interview With The Transgender Vampire
69. Response To The Filmcast: Is “Avatar” Still Culturally Relevant?
70. Shut The **** Up…Jason Voorhees Is Gay?!
71. Jamie Lee Curtis, Transphobia, and Bad Takes on the ‘Halloween’ Franchise
72. One-Sentence Movie Reviews
73. AirBnB Promises A Killer Stay
74. Is Watchmen A Better Murder Mystery Than Knives Out?
75. Marvel Studios: Every Movie “They” Don’t Want You To Watch
76. Wait…The Little Mermaid Was Trans? (The Full Collection)
77. ‘Don’t Worry Darling’ Leaves Every Reason To Worry
78. Survival Tips For Five End-Of-The-World Scenarios
79. Ventriloquist Uses Comedy To Say Quiet Part Out Loud
80. What Black Panther Taught Me About Protesting With Pride
81. You’ll Never Watch Alien(s) The Same Way Again
82. How To Dance Like Elaine From Seinfeld
83. Frodo, Sauron the Sniper, and the Perfect Piano Concert
84. What’s Good For MTV Is Good For Marvel Movies
85. You’ll Never Watch Spider-Man The Same Way Again
86. Elseworlds: What if Superman were trans?
87. Wait…Batman is trans?? (or the video with a dramatic performance by me)
88. Superman said WHAT about Mental Health?!
89. Wait…Thanos is running for President?
90. Wait…the Ancient One was trans? (MCU: Doctor Strange)
91. Wait…Thanos invested in Theranos?
92. Superman and Lois just gave a HUGE nod to Superman ’78 (and a bunch of other cool easter eggs)
93. Being Non-Binary: What Doctor Strange Taught Literary Agent Naomi Davis
94. If you think Loki is evil, wait until you meet this guy
95. Did David Lynch secretly make a Superman movie?
96. Super Mario Bros: What Does Your Favorite Power Up Say About Your Personality Type?
97. The Best Possible Video Game For THE FLASH Already Hit The Indie Best-Seller List
98. Why Every Superman Video Game Super Sucks
99. How To Win Monopoly Every Time (and lose your friends…every time)
100. How To Eat Oreos (Without Crushing The Souls Of Your Enemies)
101. The 29 Cult Classic Gambling Quotes I Better Hear From You At The Poker Table
The end (of the article)

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