Queer Moms Love Movies
In Just 77 Minutes, LOOKING FOR LOVE Will Change The Rest Of Your Life
The South African romantic comedy destined to become a timeless classic (mostly spoiler-free review)
All Anyone Needs Is One Chance
Where would any of us be without one chance? Nelson Mandela would still be breaking rocks.
The pitch for Looking For Love (offsite to Letterboxd) will break the rock around your heart. I had to turn the movie on before I finished reading.
Following a disastrous drunken display at her younger sister’s wedding, 38-year-old Buyi has her parents worried that she’s wasting her life working meaningless jobs. Her parents insist that she take her head out of the clouds and focus on finding herself a good man and settle down.
Buyi is gutted. She returns from KwaZulu-Natal feeling hopeless about her love situation. Where is a heavyset black woman going to find a man in South Africa? Desperate, she reluctantly allows her sexy best friend, Lindi to help find her a man in the exclusive ‘man market.’
Between questionable concoctions, a quirky magician with a cat obsession, and a sex addict that can’t get enough of a big butt, Buyi quickly loses hope of finding Mr. Right. A hilarious, heart-warming story of acceptance and hope.
If that’s not enough to make you watch the movie
How far can you make it into the trailer before you begin to cackle with delight?
A multi-lingual delight
For English-only speakers, the vernacular seamlessly shifts between English and Zulu. Given how much of a stewpot the English language turned out to be — that stewpot was made through outright theft of other languages lol — the experience of mixed-language dialogue won’t be new for anyone, even if some of the words are.
But more than that, the diversity of language and culture reminded me how broad the cultural context has to be for movies made outside of North America (aka how broad I want the cultural context to need to be inside NA, too).
It would feel strange for the characters in this movie not to speak in a variety of languages.
In literary speak, this is called Narrative Fidelity. It would feel fake to hear only one language. Even just two!
While we are struggling just to get a taste of diversity like this in our movies, Looking For Love is a powerful reminder that some (most?) of the best movies come from overseas.
Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous cinematography
You could turn the sound off and just watch the visuals. Buyi’s journey takes her from backroads that look more desolate than the outback to sprawling cities more opulent than Singapore.
Get ready to walk, hitchhike, and search for love in places like Jo’burg, Kwa-Zulu Natal, and Kimberly (well, at least halfway).
E-X-T-R-E-M-E-L-Y Sex Positive
These characters have sex and talk about sex without the idea of purity or the Madonna complex. Their concerns instead are how sex with each chosen person will impact their quality of life.
The fact that the characters had sex — even bad or regretful sex — isn’t in itself presented as shameful.
Sleeping with your broke as hell childhood sweetheart, however…
Outstanding Category Romance Tropes
Right Under Your Nose is one of my favorite category romance tropes. It’s when the main character thinks they’re falling for one person, but really they’re falling for the person right in front of them.
You know, the one right under their nose.
One more trope
Looking For Love also has the trope Best Friends to Lovers. That’s when two best friends who wonder why they never gave it a shot finally discover exactly why they hesitated.
If it’s not one of your favorite tropes already, it will be by the end of this movie.
Reveals the heart of the romantic comedy genre: safely experiencing embarrassment
This must be how people feel when watching The Office. Well, the parts with Jim and Pam. Michael and Holly. Kevin and that big pot of chili he makes every year.
Otherwise, that show is cringe for the sake of cringe.
In a romantic comedy, however, that cringe is a feature, not a bug. A lot of people think a romantic comedy is about laughter. It’s not!
I’m just speaking as a lady who’s edited (offsite) her share of award-winning and best-selling romantic comedies, but for me…
A romantic comedy is about safely experiencing embarrassment. True love is the prize at the end. Laughter is the lube we use to make the journey worth it until we get that Happily Ever After (or at least a Happily For Now).
Looking For Love gives us a “Happily For Now” that feels as fulfilling as a “Happily Ever After”
The ending is a dream come true. It’s not perfect, it’s full of flaws, there’s one particular moment when Buyi’s love interest’s face flashes with just how flawed the ending is — but it’s an ending that feels earned.
The happily-for-now romance between Buyi and you-know-who sent me back to my own life thinking maybe perfection isn’t everything.
Maybe what I have right now — maybe who I have right now — is all I need to know that at least for today, I’m finally home.
How to Watch
With Ads: on Tubi
Without Ads: on Amazon Prime
Make sure to check your JustWatch app to verify current availability.
PS. The movie includes stand-up comedy that’s better than anything on Netflix
That’s no joke!
Well, it’s 10% a joke. Once you’re done watching this movie, head to Netflix and watch the outstanding comedy special Stand Out (in which Billy Eichner and Mae Martin call out one transphobic comedian in particular).
