Dispelling 5 Masturbation Myths

Rub out these myths to enjoy healthy self-love

Although we know masturbation is natural and pleasurable, many of us have developed an embarrassment, and even shame, about it — oftentimes because of the things we were told during our formative years. There are many myths about masturbation that can make us reluctant to engage in this self-pleasure, and then make us feel guilty after we do. Here are some of these masturbation myths that are important to dispel in order to have a healthy enjoyment of self-service.

Masturbation Has Absolutely No Health Benefits

If someone has tried to shame you for masturbating at some point, chances are one of the arguments they made is that it’s just a selfish quest to fulfill lust and get unbridled pleasure. People who believe this myth may also tell you there are no benefits to masturbation other than sexual gratification.

“Outdated perceptions of masturbation focus on the act as having no benefits to the mind or body. This myth is upheld by many inaccuracies, such as the idea that masturbation is dirty, and not something that ‘good’ or ‘well-behaved’ people engage with. In an even greater extreme, many believed that masturbation caused both physical and mental illness, which led to the act being condemned for centuries,” said Mia Sabat, in-house certified sex therapist at Emjoy. “Today we know these perceptions aren’t true, that many people engage in masturbation, and there are no downsides to self-pleasure. In fact, it can benefit you in many ways. Not only can masturbation help you learn your preferences, it comes with health benefits too. Masturbation has been scientifically proven to increase happiness through the release of hormones — including dopamine, endorphins, and oxytocin — reduce brain fog, boost your mood, improve confidence, connect with mindfulness, relieve stress and anxiety, improve sleep, and lastly, increase pleasure awareness.”

Masturbation Should Be Hidden

This myth tells us that masturbation is so wrong and so dirty that it needs to be kept in the shadows, completely hidden from everyone — even our own partner.

“As you make masturbation before bed more of a habit and reduce outside distractions, the act alone becomes a helpful association for your body to welcome sleep much more easily.” — Megwyn White

“The most harmful myth is the idea that masturbating is shameful, should be hidden, and you can’t talk about it with your partner. What’s damaging to the relationship is the shame and hiding, not the masturbating itself,” said psychotherapist Jacob Brown. “I encourage the couples I see to talk about masturbating and accept it as an aspect of each of their sexuality. This often leads to couples bringing their masturbation out into the open and incorporating it into the couple’s sex life together.”

According to Brown, this myth can start as early as childhood because parents may feel uncomfortable talking about sex with their children.

“Our culture has a lot of trouble dealing with the emerging sexuality in adolescents. Parents are uncomfortable talking to their kids about sex and they explicitly, or implicitly, communicate that this isn’t something to be talked about — and the adolescent interprets this as masturbation is wrong or sinful,” Brown said. “As a result, kids grow up hiding their sexuality and hiding their masturbation, and they continue to hide this part of their sexuality even after they enter into close intimate relationships. Unfortunately, as we all know, secrets are not helpful for a relationship.”

“What’s damaging to the relationship is the shame and hiding, not the masturbating itself.” — Jacob Brown

Masturbation Is Something Everyone Does

Not only do masturbation myths tell us we’re wrong for masturbating, some myths even attempt to shame us for not masturbating. The idea that “Everyone is doing it, so why aren’t you?” can be just as damaging as other myths — and it is something that is often repeated and believed throughout someone’s life. On the other hand, this myth can also be comforting for people who have been shamed for enjoying self-service.

“This is one of those myths that may have some benefit to it, because if you believe that everyone else is doing it, you may feel more comfortable doing it yourself. While many people masturbate, not everyone does,” said Dr. Susan Milstein, MCHES, Lead Consultant at Milstein Health Consulting and author of Human Sexuality: Making Informed Decisions*. “If someone doesn’t want to masturbate, then that’s fine too. No one should be pressured or guilted into sexual behavior, even if it’s something they do alone.”

Masturbation At Night Will Keep You Awake

If you want to get up early in the morning tomorrow, this myth tells you that if you masturbate at night before bed, you’re doomed to insomnia because the intense stimulation you experience will keep you up all night. But Megwyn White, Certified Clinical Sexologist and Director of Education for Satisfyer, says the opposite is actually true.

“There are no downsides to self-pleasure.” — Mia Sabat

“The truth of the matter is that masturbation can help improve sleep, both in helping to induce it as well as providing your body with a neurochemical boost to take you into deeper sleep states. The endorphins that come with orgasm can help shift patterns of anxiety that often keep you awake. Oxytocin, ‘the love hormone’ is also produced when we orgasm. It not only gives you the ‘warm-fuzzies,’ but also helps induce relaxation and when combined with other feel-good chemicals — like serotonin, prolactin, and norepinephrine — can take you into deeper REM states throughout the night,” White said. “Masturbation can additionally support your body in creating a more relaxing ritual to help prepare for sleep. As you make masturbation before bed more of a habit and reduce outside distractions, the act alone becomes a helpful association for your body to welcome sleep much more easily.”

Masturbation Will Make You Go Blind or Even Kill You

One myth tells us that masturbation is just a hedonistic pursuit that has no health benefits. On the other extreme, there is the myth that masturbation can do serious harm to you — and may even lead to your untimely demise.

“This is one of those myths that’s been handed down across many generations. Over the centuries, excessive masturbation has been rumored to cause everything from infertility to blindness to death. None of this is true,” said Milstein. “While excessive masturbation and ejaculation in men may make it more difficult for them to get someone pregnant, there are no links to infertility. Masturbating isn’t going to cause any major problems, but if someone feels guilty or ashamed about how much they’re masturbating, then that’s an issue that should be addressed. If there’s soreness from masturbating, then the person might want to change what they’re using to masturbate with — if they’re using a toy or other object — use more lubrication, or take a break for a while.”

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