5 Things Couples Should Keep in Mind About the Impact of Masturbation

Experts share ways masturbation can affect your relationship

Although we tend to think of masturbation as a solo act, it can actually have a huge impact on how we relate to our partner, as well as how our relationship functions. I spoke to five experts about the most important things couples should remember about masturbation and how it affects their relationship, and the following are the insights they offered.

“Don’t let self-pleasure fall to the wayside, and don’t think that your partner can fill that void….” — Mia Sabat

“Couples should know that at the end of the day, masturbation is a healthy expression of self-care that serves to support our relationships. If you don’t have a regular masturbation practice of some sort, consider adopting one now. By choosing to love yourself in this way, you are also choosing to love and care for your relationship.” -Sex educator Amy Baldwin, Co-Host of the Shameless Sex Podcast

“Masturbation improves your orgasmic ability — it’s healthy and it’s pleasurable. It adds to your overall sexual joy.” -Intimacy expert Susan Bratton

“Couples should know that they are individuals who have come together to form a relationship. And as individuals, they each have their own relationship to their bodies, to their sexuality, and to their masturbation practices. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a masturbation practice that benefits and bolsters the sex that you’re having as a couple. If one partner’s masturbation begins to overshadow the sexual connection that you have as a couple, have an honest conversation about it. And if you need some professional help, it’s easy enough to address with the help of a sex coach or sex therapist.” -Caitlin V. Neal, resident sexologist at Royal

“If you don’t have a regular masturbation practice of some sort, consider adopting one now.” — Amy Baldwin

“If someone can masturbate with their partner, then they can create a shared sexual experience — even if they don’t have what we’d usually think of as sex.” -Psychotherapist Jacob Brown

“Masturbation is an act of self-love — not only can it improve your relationship with your partner, but it can improve your relationship with yourself. It helps you learn your desires, see how your preferences change throughout your life, connect with fantasy, and escape into your own world of pleasure, even if just for a moment. Don’t let self-pleasure fall to the wayside, and don’t think that your partner can fill that void — and vice versa. Only you can fulfill your self-pleasure needs.” -Mia Sabat, in-house certified sex therapist at Emjoy

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