Not Just for Veterans Day: 5 Reasons Women Love a Man in Uniform
The underlying psychology explained
On Veterans Day, we honor the men and women who have served our country and pay them the respect they deserve. But for some of us, Veterans Day may mean something else — an opportunity to get a lot of eye candy thanks to all the men in uniform on display. The stereotype of women loving a man in uniform has been created for many reasons: Men in uniform represent strength, confidence, authority, safety, loyalty, and an overall sexy nature that is projected through the fabric.
However, there are also some underlying psychological reasons that women love men in uniform that we may not think about. In order to understand what they are, I spoke to five experts and the following are the insights they gave me.
“Heterosexual women have been shown to prefer a man who takes action, and a uniform alludes to action without needing to show anything else.” — Indigo Stray Conger
Past Experiences
Many of the things that arouse us are rooted in a past experience we had, and loving uniformed men is no exception. Elizabeth Papa, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Owner of Beach Cottage Counseling, LLC., says that a client she worked with, for example, developed an attraction to men in uniform because of the kindness she experienced from military men she met during childhood.
“A client of mine lived close to a Navy base as she was growing up and she remembered the sailors being so kind and helpful in her community,” she explained. “Her home was chaotic and she wanted so much to experience the stability that she perceived those in uniform to have. This amplified her attraction to men in uniform as she got older and started engaging in adult relationships.”
Biology
As with much of our sexual and relationship behavior, women are often compelled to love men in uniform because they are driven by biological urges, according to licensed relationship and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, Co-Founder of Mile High Psychotherapy and writer for Choosing Therapy.
“From the biological imperative perspective, this may be because women innately want a man who can protect them and their progeny,” said Conger. “Whether this kind of desire is culturally or genetically programmed, heterosexual women have been shown to prefer a man who takes action, and a uniform alludes to action without needing to show anything else.”
“Her home was chaotic and she wanted so much to experience the stability that she perceived those in uniform to have.” — Elizabeth Papa
Hollywood Images
For some women, attraction to men in uniform is about experiences they had personally. However, for other women, it’s all about the images they’ve seen in the media that sparked this interest.
“The attraction can get started as young as childhood when girls are exposed to movies featuring men in uniform, such as Tom Cruise in Top Gun or Jake Gyllenhaal in Jarhead,” said Amber Artis, CEO and Certified Matchmaker at Select Date Society. “Hollywood has long capitalized on women’s desire for men in uniform. Frank Sinatra and Gene Kelly played sailors in the 1945 movie Anchors Aweigh. Hollywood stereotypes of heroes in uniform can cross over into real life, leaving women drawn to a man in uniform.”
Masochism
One reason women love men in uniform that people may not think about is the desire to be dominated, says relationship expert Chloe Ballatore, author of How to Live: Find Love and Keep It*. The strength that the uniform represents allows some women to act out their masochistic fantasies.
“Depending on your feelings about uniformed men, a sexual attraction to one may be a sign of masochism,” she explained. “If you associate policemen with causing violence and pain, and that attracts you, that is a masochistic fetish.”
The Uniform Itself
There’s no denying that when someone puts on a uniform, it upgrades their appearance. According to Tiffany Yelverton, Founder of Entice Me Soirees, Inc., the look of a uniform itself can be enough for women to develop a strong attraction to it because of the connotations created.
“Traditional uniforms are usually starched, have shoulder pads, and include a hat. This makes the man appear larger in stature, which is a subconscious attractant for women that signifies they can defend themselves and protect a family,” said Yelverton. “The uniforms that especially come to mind are chef, fireman, police, and military officers. Many of these roles are actually men who defend, rescue, and fight for good, which to a woman signifies security and safety. Plus, the uniform exhibits that he is employed and can provide for a family.”
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