Spectrophilia: The Haunting Ghost Sex Fetish I Never Knew I Had

What happened when I wondered what sex with a ghost would be like

It seems I was destined to write about ghost sex.

When I was a kid, my family dragged me to see the original Amityville Horror in the movie theater, and while it’s hardly anything worthy of keeping me up all night in abject terror today, at the time, I was terrified. And when I was told by my passive aggressive stepsister that it was a true story, I literally cried all the way home.

And thus the seed was planted for a love of all things horror that blossomed and bloomed in the coming years — a love I still carry with me to this day. You might wonder what this has to do with sex. After all, there are millions of horror buffs out there and I’m sure most of them don’t make the connection in their minds between hauntings and horniness.

I didn’t either…until I got interested in writing erotica.

“It’s certainly different. It’s certainly titillating.” — Patti Negri

Supernaturally Seduced

Somewhere along the line, those wires got crossed in my head when I began brainstorming ideas for stories. I enjoy a lot of paranormal reality shows and I was inspired while watching reruns of Paranormal State and A Haunting. I started wondering what would happen if I had sex with a ghost and my first series, Supernatural Seductions was born. As I was writing it, my mind kept getting enticed by the idea of having an entity in the stories that was entirely dedicated to nothing more than pleasing my characters sexually. The spirit was insatiable and the ladies were completely up for the constant bumps in the night that he delivered.

I got hooked. I went on to write a series about a paranormal investigation group that manages to stumble into some kind of sex during every case, and another about a pastor’s wife seduced by an entity living in the closet of their haunted house. And many more of these kinds of stories are either in progress right now or are percolating in my brain waiting for the opportunity to flow through my fingertips onto the page.

One thing that really struck me since I started writing ghost sex stories is how many people have commented that, after reading my work, they want to buy a haunted house in the hopes of having the kinds of relations I describe. That was something I never expected. To me, it was fun to think about — and sometimes do a bit more than think — but I never imagined it was something anyone would actually consider in real life.

And that made me wonder why.

Why Would I Want to Have Sex With a Ghost Anyway?

Not only was I surprised to learn there were people out there who actually craved ghost sex, I also didn’t realize this is a recognized fetish that even has a name: spectrophilia. In order to figure things out, I spoke to psychic medium Patti Negri, author of Old World Magick for the Modern World: Tips, Tricks, and Techniques to Balance, Empower, and Create a Life You Love*.

“It’s certainly different. It’s certainly titillating,” she said when I asked her why anyone would seek out ghost sex. “For anybody who wants something a little off the normal naughty — whatever in societal terms that means — how can you get more than sex with a ghost? I hear it’s fabulous sex though. I hear it’s beyond human because they’re not limited by flesh.”

Negri also noted that for some people, this experience is not only pleasurable, it can be healing.

“I’ve also found where it’s been a very positive thing in someone who’s really lost their sense of sensuality or sexuality,” she said. “Maybe they haven’t dated in a long time, they’re not feeling good about themselves and this spirit or horny ghost — who’s to say — comes in and reignites their own sensuality, their own passion, their own sense of ecstasy. It’s strangely a safer way for women — or men, but usually women — who are afraid of that real human connection.”

On rare occasions, Negri will teach her clients how to make this connection with the paranormal, but she warns them to be careful of what they lust for because there can be a bad side to this sexual coin if it isn’t approached with the right frame of mind.

“I hear it’s fabulous sex…it’s beyond human because they’re not limited by flesh.” — Patti Negri

“If you open that door to the veil, you don’t want to call in something negative or dark because that really will mess you up,” she explained.

And when it does mess you up, it can damage your overall health and happiness. Although many people may think a dark entity like this is an incubus (a male demon that has sex with humans) or a succubus (the female counterpart), she believes those terms are wildly overused. Just as there are negative people on the planet who believe misery loves company, Negri says there can be negative spirits lurking around, looking for an opportunity to make someone as unhappy as they are in their afterlife.

Ghost Sex Is But a Dream?

Are people who claim to have ghost sex really being seduced by deceased humans looking for physical comfort or undead spirits using sexual wiles to gain control of their life force?

According to some, neither.

Sleep experts believe that people who think they’re having sex with a ghost are actually experiencing sleep paralysis, which affects about eight percent of the population. Julia Rodriguez of Advanced Sleep Medicine Services, Inc. describes the condition, which occurs when people move in and out of REM sleep, this way:

Sleep paralysis is a condition in which a person is mentally conscious but physically unable to move. It is sometimes accompanied by hallucinations of frightening invaders in the bedroom. The result is a scary, almost nightmarish experience of sensing an intruder but being unable to respond. Thankfully, this is nothing more than the product of a half-awake brain.

And for those into spectrophilia, that half-awaken brain may conjure up fantasies about sexual relations with a ghost or demon. While ghost sex is not a known side effect of the condition, it can be accompanied by other sleep problems, such as narcolepsy and sleep apnea.

To Ghost or Not to Ghost?

It turns out, people wanting to have a romp with a ghost is more common than you may think. Negri advised Katie Heaney and Arianna Rebolini on how to seduce a ghost, and they described their experience in BuzzFeed. Amethyst Realm gained international attention when she admitted she had sex with over a dozen ghosts and was planning to marry one of her supernatural suitors. And even some celebrities — like Natasha Blasick, Bobby Brown, and Kesha — have reported to enjoying intimate pleasures with spirits.

Someone once asked me if I believe in this stuff and if I do, would I try it. My Amityville Horror incident many moons ago helped me develop what I think is a healthy respect for the supernatural that makes me want to largely leave it alone. If there is anything out there, I can agree to coexist peacefully — and very much separately. It’s one thing to have fantasies about a hot and horny ghost coming to erotically haunt you at night, but the possibility of ending up possessed and confined to a bed while projectile vomiting into the mouth of a priest…well, not so much.

So when I spoke to Negri, she didn’t tell me how to conjure up a sex ghost and I certainly didn’t ask. For me, this particular fantasy is better left for paranormal erotica.

*This post contains affiliate links.

More from Kiki Wellington:

Sources:

Ehrenfeld, T. (2017, November 7). Seeing Ghosts in Your Bedroom? It’s Sleep Paralysis. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/open-gently/201711/seeing-ghosts-in-your-bedroom-its-sleep-paralysis

Greenwood, M. (2014, April 30). ‘Paranormal Activity 2’ actress Natasha Blasick claims she had two experiences of ghost sex. New York Daily News. https://www.nydailynews.com/news/world/actress-claims-experiences-ghost-sex-article-1.1773793

Hamad, R. (2016, October 15). When a ghost creeps into your bed: Sleep paralysis. SBS Life. https://www.sbs.com.au/topics/voices/health/article/2016/10/12/when-ghost-creeps-your-bed-sleep-paralysis

Heaney, K. & Rebolini, A. (2016, January 15). We Tried To Have Sex With Ghosts And Here’s What Happened. BuzzFeed. https://www.buzzfeed.com/katieheaney/we-tried-to-have-sex-with-ghosts-and-heres-what-happened

‘I gave up men to sleep with ghosts’. This Morning. https://www.itv.com/thismorning/hot-topics/amethyst-realm-sex-with-ghosts

Ke$ha Says She Had Sex With A Ghost. HuffPost. https://www.huffpost.com/entry/kesha-sex-with-ghost_n_1919320

Negri, P. (2020). Personal interview.

Oppenheim, M. (2016, June 8). Bobby Brown claims he had sex with a ghost in his Georgia mansion. The Independent. https://www.independent.co.uk/news/people/bobby-brown-sex-ghost-georgia-mansion-a7070951.html

Rodriguez, J. Is it a Ghost, or Just Sleep Paralysis?. Advanced Sleep Medicine Services, Inc. https://www.sleepdr.com/the-sleep-blog/is-it-a-ghost-or-just-sleep-paralysis/