5 Psychological Reasons We Love Sexy Halloween Costumes
What goes on in our mind when we choose these provocative outfits
Halloween is a time when we feel comfortable stepping into a disguise — and oftentimes these disguises are quite provocative. We’ve all seen naughty nurses or wild witches on Halloween, but why are we so comfortable with these types of costumes this time of year? I asked five sex experts about the thought processes that go into our choice of sexy attire on Halloween, and the following are the insights they offered.
“It can be empowering to step out of character and open up to an alter ego, even if it’s just for one night a year.” — Dr. Ava Cadell
Expressing Your True Personality and Desires
Halloween gives us the freedom to really put our personality on display — including our deepest desires that we usually don’t have the opportunity to express in public, according to sexologist Dr. Carol Queen, author of Exhibitionism for the Shy*. It’s a time to show off sexually in ways that usually aren’t socially sanctioned.
“There are only so many opportunities in most peoples’ lives to dress up and show off in front of other people besides a sex partner — and there are plenty of people who are reticent to do even that,” she explained. “While not every adult desires, or needs to desire, this kind of exhibitionistic play, Halloween has become more than a party day on the calendar for many people, specifically because it’s an opportunity to let out one’s ordinarily hidden erotic persona.”
Exploring Desires That Are New to You
Although you may use your Halloween costume to bring out the deepest desires you already have, you can also use it as a way to experiment with new fantasies and desires you have not yet explored. Halloween allows you to try on another personality — especially if it’s the polar opposite of your own — so you can experience how it looks, feels, speaks, and behaves. Clinical sexologist Dr. Ava Cadell, Founder of Loveology University and author of Idiot’s Guides: Kama Sutra, says this can be an exciting experience that floods your brain with pleasure endorphins like dopamine, which leads to instant gratification.
“For example, an introvert wearing an exotic dancer or rock star costume can make a big, flashy entrance to a party that they would normally not consider, while an extravert dressed up as a silent movie star or in a cat burglar costume can use the subtleties of their body language to communicate with others,” Cadell said. “It can be empowering to step out of character and open up to an alter ego, even if it’s just for one night a year.”
“Those who dress up and enjoy their sexuality do not have to confront complex questions of shame and identity….” — Indigo Stray Conger
Fulfilling Your Need for Play
Halloween is all about having fun and being playful — something we may not always be able to do. Although we may think this is just for kids, it can be just as gratifying for adults to engage in playful activities.
“I think through costumes, there’s an expression of playfulness, as well as fantasy,” said Lovehoney sex and relationship expert Dr. Megan Fleming, PhD. “As adults, we don’t get many spaces to play, and I think through dressing up, through role-play, there’s a secure base to express ourselves in those ways.”
Pushing Boundaries Without Negative Feelings
If you’re interested in exploring a sexual fantasy that’s considered taboo, you may experience some bad feelings that make you ultimately avoid it. However, during Halloween, you can give yourself permission to push these boundaries without worrying about what people think — and without dealing with certain emotions that come with this exploration.
“Halloween provides a forum for pushing the boundaries of sexual taboo by labeling it as pretend, just fun or ironic. Those who dress up and enjoy their sexuality do not have to confront complex questions of shame and identity as they might if they dress up other days of the year,” said licensed relationship and sex therapist Indigo Stray Conger, Co-Founder of Mile High Psychotherapy and writer for Choosing Therapy. “They can take things to an expressive edge without risking judgment or ridicule — from themselves or others.”
Fulfilling Expectations
At this point, we expect to see sexy costumes on Halloween — and companies make sure that we psychologically create this association year after year.
“Part of the reason people wear provocative costumes may be because they are encouraged to do so since sexy costumes are frequently advertised,” said licensed psychologist Dr. Wyatt Fisher, author of marriage book Total Marriage Refresh. “Everyone knows sex sells, so it’s no surprise Halloween costume makers have gravitated toward selling sexy outfits. Because sexy outfits have become the norm, Halloween provides permission for people to dress as sexy as they’d like without fearing judgment.”
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