3 Ways to Use Emojis When Communicating With Potential Partners on Dating Sites

Boost your dating success with these emoji tips

Chances are, you probably use emojis all the time without even thinking about it. However, when you’re looking for love, you can boost your chances of success by using them in the right ways. In fact, according to research conducted by Amanda Gesselman, PhD, the Associate Director for Research at the Kinsey Institute, the use of emojis can make a significant difference in our ability to connect with love interests on dating sites.

“With online dating, the most successful messages are the shorter ones, so that doesn’t really give you anything to go off of.”

“Of course, everyone is different and everyone has different understandings and thoughts about emojis, but I would say that from the data, it does seem that there is a connection between using emojis more often with potential partners and being able to create the kind of chemistry and back-and-forth rapport that would lead to enough comfort to meet you in person to build from there,” said Gesselman, whose research — which was done with colleagues Vivian P. Ta and Justin R. Garcia — was published in PLoS ONE. “I think that’s really important because with online dating, the most successful messages are the shorter ones, so that doesn’t really give you anything to go off of.”

“Emojis are a good way to signal who you are….”

In order to create something significant to go off of in these messages, Gesselman makes the following emoji suggestions:

1. Use them

In some cases, the cartoonish nature of emojis may make daters feel silly about using them with people they’re interested in pursuing a relationship with. However, Gesselman says the benefits far outweigh any potential embarrassment.

“We shouldn’t necessarily be worried about feeling silly,” she said. “Emojis are a good way to signal who you are in an easy, one character, quick sort of way, so if you want to use them and you think they’re in some way adding something to your interactions, I don’t think that’s at all harmful. Emojis seem to be helping in some capacity to build those connections.”

2. But be sparing about using them

When it comes to emojis, less is definitely more. While it’s a good idea to use them, you don’t want to use too many.

“It seems that the upper limit for a message or a brief conversation is three,” said Gesselman. “People don’t want a lot of them. It’s a nice, subtle way of injecting a little emotional compatibility, a little personality in there, but there is certainly a way to overdo it and people are aware of that.”

3. Use face emojis to create chemistry

Although you may be tempted to send a potential date a peach or eggplant emoji to create some sexual chemistry, research suggests that it is more beneficial to use face emojis in your messages because they are linked to emotional states we all recognize. As a result, these emojis can help us build the emotional connection we’re looking for by showing different parts of our personality quickly and effectively.

“If you’re trying to make a genuine connection and you feel that using some emojis in your text would help to clarify something or show who you are as a person, I would recommend using them,” Gesselman said.

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