Quickie: Are You Happy in Your Relationship? It Will Be Reflected in Your Words

Research shows that language choices are a mirror of how we feel about each other

You read a book and soon after you find yourself writing in a similar style as the author. You watch your favorite television show and you use phrases that you heard the characters use. You talk to your partner and you begin to mimic their speech patterns. These behaviors are common, but can they provide insight about the nature of our relationships?

“Style words in the spouses’ poems were more similar during happier periods of their relationships and less synchronized toward each relationship’s end.”

According to researchers James Pennebaker and Molly E. Ireland, these behaviors, known as language style matching (LSM), are common and can be an indicator of how we feel about each other. In other words: Imitation really may be the sincerest form of flattery.

“Because style matching is automatic, it serves as an unobtrusive window into people’s close relationships with others,” said Ireland.

In a study published by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, Pennebaker and Ireland analyzed the correspondences of famous authors to find the occurrences of LSM. For example, in their analysis of letters exchanged between Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, they found that the language the psychologists used was congruent with how their friendship grew, and later devolved into contempt.

Ireland and Pennebaker also examined the writings of two couples who were all well-known poets: Elizabeth Barrett and Robert Browning, and Sylvia Plath and Ted Hughes. The researchers found that these poets’ writing styles were linked to how their marriages were going.

“Style words in the spouses’ poems were more similar during happier periods of their relationships and less synchronized toward each relationship’s end,” Ireland said.

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Source:

What Mimicking One’s Language Style May Mean About the Relationship. UT News. https://news.utexas.edu/2010/10/04/what-mimicking-ones-language-style-may-mean-about-the-relationship/