Can Movies Make You a Better Kisser?
According to kissing coach William Cane, they can
We know that movie kisses can be fun, romantic, passionate, and even erotic. But can they make us better kissers? Kissing coach William Cane, author of Kiss Like a Star: Smooching Secrets from the Silver Screen*, says they can. The following are the ways he told me how we can use movies to become more effective with our own kissing.
Share Favorite Scenes With Your Partner
If you like a particular kissing scene in a movie, let your partner know. If you watch it together, you can discuss what you like about it, which will go a long way toward giving your partner more insight about your kissing preferences.
“That’s very visually stunning, but it’s not exactly something you would do.”
Imitate the Action on the Screen
“One of the most fun things you can do is when you’re watching a romantic movie with your partner, you can play a game where you kiss when the actors kiss,” Cane said. “That can be a fun way to try the different types of techniques you might see.”
Pay Close Attention to the Buildup
In movies, people just don’t run around kissing each other for no reason. There’s a buildup, a dance that increases the intensity of the kiss. Cane says it’s good to pay attention to this buildup because no kiss occurs in a vacuum.
“In Gone With the Wind, there’s all this back and forth between the connection and the disconnection of the two central characters, Scarlett O’Hara and Rhett Butler,” he said. “Sometimes they fight, other times they tease each other, but finally when they have that scene in front of the stairway, it’s very romantic and it really depends most emphatically on the romantic buildup that preceded the romantic kiss.”
“When people are connecting in such an intimate way, they can easily get their feelings hurt if you make a negative remark….”
Remember Screen Kisses Are Highly Stylized
It’s important for us to remember that by the time we see a kiss in a movie, it has been written, edited, given directorial flourishes, and practiced by the actors. This means we shouldn’t put too much pressure on ourselves to try to recreate these kisses because they simply aren’t grounded in reality.
“Movie kisses, as well as theatrical and television kisses, are always directed, so the director has the final input before the actors do the action. And sometimes those are more fake — they’re theatrical rather than true and intimate,” Cane said. “For example, in The Thomas Crown Affair, there’s a kiss that goes on for over a minute where the camera goes 360 degrees around them. That’s very visually stunning, but it’s not exactly something you would do.”
Ask for What You Want, But Be Kind
If you see something you like in a movie that your partner doesn’t do, it’s perfectly fine to ask for what you want. But be mindful of the way you ask for what you want.
“In a case like that, I think it’s good to let your partner know what you want. You don’t want to say it during your kisses though. Instead, you can make the remark at another time when it’s going to be received in a more receptive way.” Cane said. “When people are connecting in such an intimate way, they can easily get their feelings hurt if you make a negative remark — or even make a suggestion about how you would like to be kissed — so it’s important when making those suggestions to do it in a tactful way that is aware of how your partner’s feelings may get hurt from what you say.”
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