Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge: The Winners

In August, we announced The Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge, a 30-day extravaganza of focused comedy writing, open to all, with a $1,000 grand prize and two $500 runner-up prizes.

After reading and reading and reading (and re-reading) the 380 (!) entries, we realized we needed to add a dozen $100 finalist prizes and 20 honorable mentions. The entries were that amazing.

That said, our panel of judges (Megan Broussard, Sarah Hutto, Keaton Patti, Michelle Spies, sarah james, and yours truly) reached a clear consensus.

Here they are: the winners of the inaugural Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge — which we are revealing two-at-a-time, starting Oct. 9.

The Winners

1. Ernest Hemingway At The Taco Bell Cantina by Jude Flannelly (Grand Prize)
2. New — It’s Adjunct Barbie™! by Katie Burgess (Second Place Runner-Up)
3. My Kids: RANKED! by Jordan Lee Cohen (Third Place Runner-Up)
4. This Song Sucks Ass: A Line By Line Analysis Of “Take Me Out To The Ball Game” And How I’d Fix It by Ryan Ciecwisz (Finalist)
5. We’re Pleased To Offer Your Brand The Opportunity To Align With Jesse’s Momentous Gallbladder Removal by Rachel Hoiles Farrell (Finalist)
6. Replies To Yelp Reviews Of My Hedge Maze by Pat Landers (Finalist)
7. Research Participants Wanted (To Beat My Ass) by Nick DiMaso (Finalist)
8. I Order The Supplies In My Office, And I Am Drunk With Power by Nick Ortolani (Finalist)
9. The Future Of Education Is An Interactive Laptop Screen That Destroys All Hope And Joy by Chas Gillespie (Finalist)
10. I’m Your About-To-Be-Born Baby, And Here’s All The Ways My Birth Will Terrify You Two Idiots by Chris Knight (Finalist)
11. It’s Finally Time We Talk About How Pumpkins Can Feel Us Carve Them by Domenico Siravo (Finalist)
12. Single Men Pitch Themselves To Me On Shark Tank by Sara Katherine Runnels (Finalist)
13. I Was Devastated To Discover My Husband Isn’t Just Married To Me, He Is Also One Helluva Drummer by James Hamilton (Finalist)
14. 12 Tips For When The Town Elders Choose You For The Skin Harvest by Linton Lewis (Finalist)
15. This Year’s Theater Camp For Tone-Deaf Kids Was A Screeching Success! by Emily Clouse. (Finalist)

Honorable Mentions

Starting late October, we will be publishing some honorable mentions that we also loved. In no particular order…

1. What I Imagine The Fleetwood Mac Tour Bus Is Like by Gary M. Almeter
2. An Email from My Boss The Monday After The Freaky Friday My Toddler Went To Work in My Body by Jenn Knott
3. Sexual Position Or Imminent Warning Sign Of An Economic Recession? by Ian Goldstein
4. Disclaimer: Our Moving Company’s Logo Inaccurately Touts The Size Of Our Employees’ Muscles by Nick Logsdon
5. Please Do Not Shake It All About: Hokey Pokey For These Litigious Times by Erin Palmer
6. I Would Have Loved Living In New York In The 1970s Because I Love Blondie, And I Assume That Is All Anyone Talked About Back Then by Eddie Small
7. If You’re Reading This, Then It Means I Died From Holding In My Farts At Work All Day by Janelle Blasdel
8. Thank You for Attending Our Wedding, Which Has Not Yet Gone Viral by Pete Lynch
9. Someone Asked Me To Watch Their Stuff At A Coffee Shop, So I Took It Home To Keep It Safe by Leah Jereb
10. Rules For Sharing This Café With Me, A Writer by Jennifer S. Brown.
11. I Was One Of The Boys That Tried Out, And Was Cut From, The Basketball Team That Allowed Air Bud, A Dog, To Play by Tyler Gooch
12. Self-Incriminating Popup Offers by Natalie Holt
13. Causal Fridays by David Bradley Isenberg
14. Quick! Your Aunt Is Calling — Can You Guess Which Member of Your Family Is Dead? by Rachel Smith
15. I Guess This Is Goodbye: Your Baby Is Leading Me Into The Darkness With A Death Grip On My Index Finger by Sara Zadrima
16. Your Husband Secretly Signed A Lease On Another Apartment by bernthis.
17. Instead Of A Traditional Wedding Registry, We’re Asking You To Take Turns Watering Our Plants by Catherine Davis
18. We’ve Successfully Simulated A Universe Where Aristotle Had PlayStation by Jason Katz
19. Please Donate To Our Introvert Rescue Park by Gracie Beaver Kairis
20. Death Of A Freelancer by William Most

Slackjaw Humor Writing Challenge 2020!?

Another Challenge? By popular demand, it’s very likely. Click here to join the Interested List — and you’ll be the first to know when we do!