I Guess This Is Goodbye: Your Baby Is Leading Me Into The Darkness With A Death Grip On My Index Finger

Goodbye from the void.

If you’re reading this, it’s probably too late. I left you this note because I don’t know if or when I’ll be seeing you again. All I can do now is hope and pray for my safety and well-being, and be grateful for the beautiful life I’ve lived. You see, I don’t know where my fate lies, as your baby has taken me by the index finger and is leading me off into the great unknown.

She knew exactly what she was doing the moment her death grip encapsulated my pointer finger. I was blissfully ignorant for a fleeting moment until we slowly walked past her play kitchen, out of the living room, and to the outer edges of the pool of light coming through the crack in the door. It was in this moment that I knew I’d soon meet whatever fate lies before me. We’ve headed down an inescapable path and you’re not exactly here to save me from the clutches of your baby.

“Just wriggle your finger free”, is what you’re probably thinking right now, as you read this whenever you return the living room your daughter took me from. This is where our roles as “parent” and “innocent and unarmed party guest” diverge. You may be able to free yourself from your child’s tight grasp, trigger an explosive cry, and mend the temporarily broken trust by feeding her her next meal or cradling her to sleep at night, but I did not birth this tiny human and resultantly am being led into the vast void.

I don’t think you’re aware of the lengths to which I have gone to try and distract your tiny being from leading me off into the unending darkness, but the sheer number of times I’ve performed “The Itsy Bitsy Spider” with my one free hand will give you a good idea. I even tried to make a pit stop at her play kitchen when we came to it, but all I got out of that detour was a wooden block of Swiss cheese forced into my digestive tract and a tighter grip on my forefinger.

So with this, I accept my fate. I have realized that whatever fate lies before me is bigger than me and my individuality. Despite her struggle with the laws of gravity, this baby KNOWS things greater than I ever could. I’m not trying to insult her work. I’ll no longer resist her grasp. I cannot and will not deny her the greatest joy of all — leading another human straight into the vast unknown.

As I am led off beyond the reach of the pools of light emanating from your house, beyond to a place we can only assume she knows the secrets of, I shed a tear. Don’t you fret, though. I have come to terms with my destiny and have no fear that your baby will return and carry on with her life and this prophecy without me. I just ask that you remember me and my sacrificial soul when I’ve gone into the void.

Now the darkness has begun to overtake us, and your baby is giggling with a knowing grin. Actually…her eyes have begun to glow. Maybe you should get that checked out when she gets back later?

Anyway, I guess this is my cue to wrap up my goodbye, so let me just say that it’s been an honor to aid your baby in serving whatever greater power it is she serves. I’m sure you’ll be thrilled to know that your child was the one chosen as the next cultivator of souls for a realm beyond the reaches of human comprehension. I hope you find this note wherever I’ve dropped it because I can’t exactly determine where we’re at due to the glowing ominous portal right in front of me. Your baby’s babble has transformed into a deep, chaotic laugh and the glow of her eyes has become a fiery red so I’m gonna go ahead and leave you with my last words in this dimension: you really owe me for this.

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