Psychology and Longevity
The Surprising Links Between Letting Go and a Long Life
Insights from a 102-year-old medical doctor and the literature review on the importance of letting go versus resistance and illusion of control
Only a few people who were born in the 1920s are among us. So this story aims to give valuable insights from one who survived over 102 years and still inspires us to live with hope, optimism, personal responsibility, love, and holistic health principles.
I cherish the wisdom of centenarians and always learn something new from their insights. In this article, I want to share insights from a living medical doctor who has been a centenarian for the last three years, still works as a health consultant, and makes plans for the next ten years.
I decided to write this article with inspiration from the recent blog post of Gladys McGarey (MD) on the CNBC site. Dr. McGarey is not only a centenarian walking her talk but also a highly educated and accomplished medical professional known as the “Mother of Holistic Medicine.”
As holistic health is my life principle, I discovered Dr. McGarey’s work in 2000 when I serendipitously found her famous book Living Medicine.
The title and abstract were enticing, so I immediately ordered and read the book quickly. After reading the book over two decades ago, I had a gut feeling that she would be one of the centenarians. My intuition worked.
Her book Living Medicine shows us the roots of medicine and glimpses what’s possible in its future based on her decades of experience. She teaches us the meaning of graceful aging and how to do it by walking her talk. The book illuminates her unique loving and healing strategies.
My article aims to highlight the importance and health implications of letting go and give you perspectives from seven angles based on my reviews and experience.
When searching the literature, I came across powerful terms explaining or alternating the concept of letting go, like releasing, surrendering, relinquishing, abandoning, detaching, disengaging, discarding, forgetting, forgiving, and moving on liberating from useless items in our lives.
These terms profoundly affect our psychology and physiology, as the body and mind are tightly connected.
First, I’d like to give a brief background of Dr McGarey so that her inspiration and my points on letting go might resonate with you.
A Brief Introduction Dr. Gladys McGarey
Dr. Gladys McGarey is a globally known holistic medical doctor called the “Mother of Holistic Medicine” for valid reasons like her contributions to the field and inspiring thousands of people to activate self-love and show their love to others in their works and lives.
Dr. McGarey was born in 1920 in India and grew up in the United States. She completed a medical degree and practiced medicine for over 70 years.
Reading her books and articles, I understand that Dr. McGarey, like everyone else, has experienced significant personal challenges throughout her life, demonstrating her remarkable resilience and strength. Unlike potential perceptions, her century of life was not easy and cozy.
Dr. McGarey fought and overcame cancer. She raised six children but also faced the tragic loss of her daughter, an experience that impacted her.
Along with these personal challenges, Dr. McGarey endured a difficult period when her husband and clinic partner of 46 years, William McGarey, left her for another woman when she was around 70 years old, a painful betrayal for her.
Despite these trials, she persevered and significantly contributed to medicine and her patients' healing. While these were difficult and painful experiences, Dr. McGarey overcame them and continued to lead an impactful and fulfilling life. Her ability to rise above adversity inspires those facing similar personal challenges.
Dr. McGarey has pioneered holistic medicine, integrating conventional and alternative medicine practices to promote health and self-healing. She has received many honors and awards for her contributions to medicine.
She is a founding member of organizations like the Academy of Integrative Health and Medicine (AIHM) and the Academy of Parapsychology and Medicine. I’d like to briefly summarize the recent blog post related to the topic of my story.
She believes that people who never hold resentment or bitterness towards others are the happiest and healthiest. Negative emotions such as anger, bitterness, and resentment trigger the release of stress hormones raising blood pressure, heart rate, and blood sugar levels, leading to diseases.
Positive emotions like love, gratitude, and forgiveness release hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, and endorphins that promote calmness and well-being and lower chronic inflammation linked to health problems like cancer, heart disease, Alzheimer’s, or depression.
Not surprisingly, she says, “Everyone faces regret. The question is: How long should we hold on to it? The happiest people know when it’s time to move on.”
Her blog post emphasizes forgiveness as a crucial element of emotional well-being. Forgiveness lets us let go of negative emotions and replace them with empathy and compassion, giving us psychological and physical health benefits.
Her recent posts highlight the importance of forgiveness and positive emotions in promoting happiness and good health and how we can improve our emotional well-being by letting go of negative emotions.
Her wise advice is, “I don’t know what mistakes you’ve made in the past, but I’d like to suggest that you, too, mostly did the best you could with what you had at the time. If you are living with regret, try to catch it and see what’s moving.”
I received another serendipitous post regarding her life today. The article is titled “Doctor 102, who still works and has a 10-year plan, offers simple tips for long life,” published by today.com. The article's subtitle is “Dr. Gladys McGarey considers love the most powerful medicine.”
I also read her recent book, The Well-Lived Life, foreword by Dr. Mark Hyman. The book introduced six life principles that align with my perspectives and experience. I plan to review the book in another article. I hope you read the book and learn from her insights.
You may check an inspiring and educative interview with Dr. McGarey by memory expert Jim Kwik on his YouTube channel. Her unique and logical description of love in our personal and professional lives is remarkable.
7 Items We Can Let Go and Reap Benefits
Based on my reviews in psychology, psychiatry, and cognitive science literature for decades, resistance and its positive letting go seem to determine the outcomes for our healthspan and lifespan.
Studies indicate that high levels of psychological distress have been reported in patients with congestive heart failure, resulting in increased morbidity and mortality.
Acceptance and letting go are critical psychological and physical health requirements that can lead to greater happiness and overall well-being.
At its core, letting go involves releasing attachment to negative emotions, situations, and outcomes beyond our control. This process can be challenging but essential for our physical and mental health.
Psychoanalytic theory suggests that early life experiences shape our emotions, thoughts, and behaviors.
The opposite of letting go in this theory can be seen as “a defense mechanism,” a way of protecting ourselves from emotional pain. However, holding onto negative emotions or resisting situations for too long can create psychological distress and hinder personal growth.
Attachment theory suggests that our attachment styles are formed in early childhood and shape our relationships throughout our lives. In this theory, the opposite of letting go is “clinging or grasping,” which can signify an insecure attachment style. This can lead to difficulties in relationships and a lack of independence.
This section summarizes seven items I methodically removed from my life by letting go and replacing them with better alternatives that helped me.
They are my negative thoughts, emotions, behaviors, toxic relationships, professional concerns, peer group and societal pressures, distractions, clutters, and perceived control of things beyond our capability.
As these points are comprehensive and highly complex psychological concepts, I only focus on the critical and practical points without going into scientific and technical details to give you an idea for each.
1 — Let go of negative thoughts and emotions.
Our thoughts and emotions determine our moods and behaviors. Positive thoughts and emotions can create positive moods and behaviors, while negative ones do the opposite.
Therefore, letting go of negative emotions such as anger, frustration, and resentment reduces stress levels in the body. Chronic stress can lead to health problems like heart disease, high blood pressure, and stroke.
The two practical examples are letting go of the anger towards someone who violated our personal boundaries and grudges towards a family member or friend who offended us unintentionally.
The key point is to let go of negative emotions and replace them with positive ones like love, gratitude, and forgiveness, which can help improve our emotional and physical well-being.
The critical concept for this item is forgiveness, which can rewire our brains for joy. This shift can impact our hormones.
For example, negative thoughts and emotions can trigger stress hormones like cortisol and adrenalin, and positive ones can trigger the release of hormones happiness hormones like oxytocin, serotonin, dopamine, and endorphins that promote joy, serenity, and life satisfaction.
Letting go of the fear of failure and death can make us more resilient and help us bounce back from setbacks, give us optimism, adapt to change better, and improve our overall well-being.
2 — Let go of poor behaviors.
Our poor behaviors can adversely affect our health, well-being, happiness, and lifespan. Definitions of behaviors might vary, but there are some common ones.
For example, a sedentary lifestyle, workaholism, judgmental approach to others, smoking, excessive alcohol consumption, drug use, and neglecting our fundamental needs like sleep, healthy diet, and fun can increase the risk of chronic diseases and make us miserable.
Letting go of these poor behaviors and replacing them with healthier ones can improve physical health, reduce the risk of developing chronic diseases, make us happier, and might lengthen our lifespan.
The key points are recognizing poor behaviors, accepting them, setting small achievable goals, creating a supportive environment, taking timely actions, and seeking professional support when needed.
3 — Let go of toxic relationships.
Toxic relationships can cause stress and negatively impact mental health, leading to symptoms such as anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem.
Letting go of toxic relationships that drain our energy and replacing them with loving relationships can lead to a longer and happier life.
Some examples of toxic relations are manipulative partners, colleagues, friends, and even family members. One of the effective ways is setting healthy boundaries to lower the risk of emotional manipulation.
The social exchange theory suggests relationships are formed based on costs and rewards. If a relationship has more costs than rewards, it may be beneficial to let it go.
We must prioritize self-care, self-compassion, and self-love and seek support from loved ones and professionals when required.
4 — Let go of professional and business concerns.
Constant worry and pressure related to professional or business concerns can cause burnout and negatively impact physical and mental health.
Prioritizing work over personal life and relationships can lead to declined job satisfaction and a lack of fulfillment. Letting go of the excessive focus on work can help us achieve a better work-life balance and lead to a more fulfilling career and personal life.
Letting go of professional and business concerns can reduce stress levels. We can let go of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations, set realistic goals, and delegate tasks to others when necessary.
The cognitive-behavioral theory suggests that changing our thought patterns can regulate our emotions and better our behaviors for work.
5 — Let go of peer groups and societal pressures.
Social pressures and expectations from peer groups and others can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of authenticity. Letting go of these pressures can lower stress and help us live more authentically.
Trying to fit into societal expectations and conforming to peer group norms can lead to a lack of self-expression and a loss of personal identity. Letting go of these pressures can lead to greater self-awareness, authenticity, and overall well-being.
Letting go of these unnecessary pressures, surrounding ourselves with supportive people, and embracing our true selves can improve self-esteem, reduce stress, lead to greater self-awareness and personal growth, and make us happier.
6 — Let go of distractions and clutters.
Excessive home and workplace distractions can decrease productivity and reduce overall well-being. Letting go of these distractions can help us focus on our priorities and increase productivity.
Distractions like social media, television, web browsing, mobile phones, and cluttered environments can decrease focus, productivity, and overall well-being. Letting go of these distractions can improve focus and attention, reduce stress, and increase creativity.
We can let go of these distractions and clutters by practicing mindfulness. Mindful behavior can make us present at the moment, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.
7 — Let go of control and certainty.
The need for control and certainty can lead to stress, anxiety, and a lack of adaptability. Nothing is certain in life. Everything comes with a risk. We never know what will happen in the future.
It is impossible to control our future. The illusion of control is a cognitive bias that can lead to adverse health outcomes by increasing stress levels and promoting risky behaviors.
There are too many variables in life, and many things are beyond our control. It is impossible to control life events, but it is possible to influence them for better outcomes.
Therefore, removing unnecessary control and demand for certainty can increase resilience and cognitive flexibility. Letting go of the need for control and accepting things as they are can reduce stress and anxiety levels, leading to better mental and physical health.
Letting go of our illusions and delusions and accepting the role of chance (serendipity) and external factors in shaping outcomes can positively affect longevity by reducing stress levels and promoting adaptive coping strategies.
An illusion is a false perception or misinterpretation of reality, like cognitive distortions. A delusion is a persistent false belief not based on reality or evidence. Delusions are associated with mental disorders like schizophrenia, adversely affecting the HPA axis.
Conclusions and Takeaways
Studies show that letting go of the items I discussed in this article can lower stress, increase productivity and creativity, improve relationships and social connections, and make us healthier and happier.
The practice of this powerful concept might also extend our lifespan, as it did to Dr. McGarey and many other centenarians I met.
I came across the notion of “clinging to accepted beliefs or assumptions about what’s not” by psychologist and professor Ellen Langer through her remarkable studies on the illusion of control.
Through her years of studies in psychology, Dr. Langer found that elderly people who were encouraged to challenge their limiting beliefs and assumptions about aging experienced significant improvements in physical health outcomes such as vision, hearing, and memory.
By letting go of negative beliefs about aging, the elderly could adopt a more positive outlook on life and engage in activities that promote better health and wellness.
Accepting situations we cannot change can make us healthier and happier. Forgiveness is a form of letting go that can help improve our mental and physical health.
Holding onto grudges can lead to feelings of anger, anxiety, and depression. The healing power of forgiveness can reduce stress, anxiety, and depression, improve relationships, and enhance emotional well-being.
Another writer who writes a lot about letting go is David Gerken, one of the top writers on this platform who contributes to my publications and works as a meditation teacher. Like David, I enjoy meditating and letting go.
Not many health professionals live long lives like Dr. McGarey due to the demands and excess stress of the profession. I met a few such scarce people in my circles, and I will cover their insights and share glimpses from their lives in my future stories.
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
As a new reader, please check my holistic health and well-being stories reflecting my reviews, observations, and decades of experiments optimizing my hormones and neurotransmitters.
ALS, Metabolic Syndrome, Type II Diabetes, Fatty Liver Disease, Heart Disease, Strokes, Obesity, Liver Cancer, Autoimmune Disorders, Homocysteine, Lungs Health, Pancreas Health, Kidneys Health, NCDs, Infectious Diseases, Brain Health, Dementia, Depression, Brain Atrophy, Neonatal Disorders, Skin Health, Dental Health, Bone Health, Leaky Gut, Leaky Brain, Brain Fog, Chronic Inflammation, Insulin Resistance, Elevated Cortisol, Leptin Resistance, Anabolic Resistance, Cholesterol, High Triglycerides, Metabolic Disorders, Gastrointestinal Disorders, Thyroid Disorders, Anemia, Dysautonomia, cardiac output, and urinary track disorders.
I also wrote about valuable nutrients. Here are the links for easy access:
Lutein/Zeaxanthin, Phosphatidylserine, Boron, Urolithin, taurine, citrulline malate, biotin, lithium orotate, alpha-lipoic acid, n-acetyl-cysteine, acetyl-l-carnitine, CoQ10, PQQ, NADH, TMG, creatine, choline, digestive enzymes, magnesium, zinc, hydrolyzed collagen, nootropics, pure nicotine, activated charcoal, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B1, Vitamin D, Vitamin K2, Omega-3 Fatty Acids, N-Acetyl L-Tyrosine, and other nutrients.
As part of my creative non-fiction writing goals, I’d like to share a few stories that might warm our hearts with a bit of humor into weighty topics.
Sample Humorous Stories
Finally, After Burning Her House, Georgia Found Enlightenment
Hilarious Tips to Prevent Brain Atrophy and Keep the Gray Matter Giggling
8 Psychological Points I Had to Unlearn and Relearn the Opposite
Based on my writing experience and observations, I documented findings and strategies that might help you amplify your voice, engage your audience, and achieve your desired outcomes in your writing journey.
I publish my lifestyle, health, and well-being stories on EUPHORIA. My focus is on cellular, mitochondrial, metabolic, and mental health. Here is my collection of Insightful Life Lessons from Personal Stories.
Disclaimer: My posts do not include professional or health advice. I only document my reviews, observations, experiences, and perspectives to provide information and create awareness.
You might join my six publications on Medium as a writer by sending a request via this link. 24K writers contribute to my publications. You might find more information about my professional background.
