Philosophy and Psychology
Here’s What We Can and Can’t Control in Life.
A comparative checklist reflecting perspectives on human limitations and capabilities
A Practical Framework on What We Can and Cannot Change In Life
Human psychology and physiology are complex. Life presents countless challenges. Some are controllable, and many remain beyond our control. There is nothing new on my list.
They are all common-sense items. However, reviewing them comparatively can enhance our perception, awareness, and perspectives of human nature and life at a macro level.
This approach can save us time and effort. Besides, we can gain empowerment with awareness.
This is an objective and a quick checklist from my experience. Using this framework, you can identify your controllable and uncontrollable items and customize the list in your personal and professional development plans.
This post summarizes a framework I developed while studying the human brain, technology, science, education, and leadership over the years.
These items reflect my introspection, interactions, and life lessons from decades of observations in ethnographic settings.
This framework and explanations were designed to be used as a customized checklist to make it practical and useful.
I briefly describe each item. These descriptions are not biased to my lifestyle. I keep them as neutral as possible. They reflect my understanding, perspectives, observations, and experiences of each point.
We are all unique. We perceive and experience reality differently. Thus, you can redefine them based on your understanding, perception of reality, and individual experience.
To keep the post digestible, I use clarifications as briefly as possible.
First, I point out what we cannot change and control. However, we can influence these uncontrollable matters to some extent, especially collectively.
For example, technology tools can partially help us control or change some items. We cannot fly without using technology. If we try, we will get disappointed. Our responsibility is to accept the uncontrollable and deal with the controllable ones pragmatically.
We must understand that these immutable and uncontrollable items are part of our lives and determine our success. The only viable solution is to accept things we cannot change by focusing on what we can change and control.
We can significantly influence our luck and serendipity for manifestation using controllable items. By going one step further, embracing immutable and uncontrollable conditions and situations can give us more power paradoxically.
Our higher self operates using the synchronicity principle of the universe. Synchronicity shows how we connect with the larger universe beyond our identity.
We are all connected in some invisible ways. Science hasn’t proven this empirically yet. However, many experiences and patterns from the past indicate its existence and resonance.
1 — What We Cannot Control and Change
I start with realities that cannot be changed and controlled. Successful people understand this truth and only focus on controllable items.
The Past and Future
Time is relative.
Even though we can live past and the future in our imagination, we cannot change and control either of them directly.
However, we can learn from the past to design our future using controllable items.
Our present is the only moment we can change things within our control.
The Environment and Weather
We are a single drop in the metaphorical environment ocean.
Even though we are part of this universal ecosystem, we cannot change it.
We can observe the weather, and some of us can even forecast the weather but cannot change and control it.
Yet, environment and climate play a critical role in our survival and well-being.
Where We Born
We have no choice in which country and city we are born in. It depends on our parents.
However, we can change where we live when we become an adult. It might not apply to every human being, but many people choose new countries or cities.
Migration is a common sociological and economic construct.
When and Where We Die
We have no control over our death.
There are myriad variables affecting this phenomenon. We can influence our longevity using the items within our control.
A healthy lifestyle is an example of controllable elements.
Genetic Makeup
We all have unique genetic makes inherited from our ancestors. These genes provide information to our life form.
We cannot change our genes.
However, we can influence which genes to turn on and which ones to turn off. Epigenetics is a growing science branch.
Subconscious Mind
Our subconscious mind includes memories since our inception into the world.
It holds every chemical, electrical, physical, hormonal, and neutral transaction.
We can use our subconscious mind by tapping into it using various meditative methods, but we cannot change it.
Universal Rules
Universe has distinct rules that apply to every living being and material. These rules are beyond the control of humanity.
For example, we learn how to deal with gravity naturally and via technology, but we cannot change it.
It is impossible to change day and night even if we deal with them differently for our benefit.
What Other People Think, Feel and Say About Us
Each of us has an autonomous brain even though we are all connected through invisible links, also known as the collective consciousness.
Therefore, knowing, changing, and controlling what others think, feel, and say about us is impossible.
However, we may influence their perception via our behavior and interactions to some extent.
Behavior and Attitudes of Other People
Adults are responsible for their own behavior.
We can interact with them and influence their attitudes and behavior by educating, mentoring, coaching, and relating intimately, but we cannot change them.
However, we can change our attitudes and behaviors.
Boundaries of Other People
Each adult person sets their boundary based on their lifestyle and goals.
We cannot change their boundaries.
However, we can change our boundaries and perhaps influence the boundaries of other people based on our relationships.
Infrastructure and Traffic
No one can change the infrastructure of geographies such as countries, cities, towns, or villages.
It is not possible to change traffic either. However, we can change our dwelling and response to traffic.
Our actions, such as investment and careful driving, can influence these uncontrollable items.
The Economy, Stock Market, and Forex
The economy is a collective process.
An individual can’t change the entire economy, even if the person is the richest one on the globe.
For example, the stock market and Forex are incredibly complex, and even supercomputers cannot handle their data.
2 — What We Can Control and Change
These realities can be changed and controlled with conscious effort. Successful people focus on them to survive and thrive.
Thoughts and Responses
Even though controlling our thoughts is challenging, we can change them based on our capabilities using various cognitive and mindfulness techniques.
However, we cannot change the initiation of thoughts but can influence them.
Changing our response based on our cognitive and emotional capabilities is possible.
Attitudes and Behaviors
We can change our attitudes and behaviors by changing our thoughts, beliefs, reactions, and interactions.
This might take some time and investment in our mental, emotional, and social intelligence.
Focus, Priorities, and Energy
We can change our focus, attention, and priorities by improving our cognitive skills.
Customized lifestyle methods can also significantly increase our mental and physical energy.
It is up to us to focus on specific priorities and spend our energy on them.
Boundaries
Setting our boundaries is our responsibility as adult individuals.
It is up to us to choose boundaries and implement them in our relationships.
Our boundary is a protection mechanism for our survival and well-being.
Mission, Goals, and Initiatives
This is our life.
We set our mission, goals, and initiatives to realize our dreams. We may learn from the experience of others.
Nevertheless, it is up to us to choose these items for our life satisfaction.
Food and Drink
Choosing what we eat and drink is entirely up to us unless we have specific health conditions.
No one can force us to eat or drink what we don’t want.
This is a lifestyle individuals need to decide by themselves.
Epigenetics
Epigenetics is a new science branch giving humanity unique perspectives on what we can do with our genes.
As mentioned in uncontrollable items, it is impossible to change our genes. However, epigenetic studies show we can turn on health-promoting genes and turn off disease-inducing genes.
We can achieve this by changing our lifestyle and the environment we live in.
Conscious Mind
By using our cognitive capabilities, we can significantly change our conscious minds. We can also use it to tap into our subconscious mind and leverage wisdom from it.
Fitness
Unless we have severe health conditions preventing us from exercising, we can choose a fitness regime to make us an improved version of ourselves physically.
This requires time, effort, and commitment.
Stress Response
We cannot erase stress entirely from our lives as it is a survival mechanism.
However, we can change our response to stressful situations.
Our response to stress can play a critical role in our physical and mental health.
Where We Live
As mentioned in uncontrollable items, we cannot change where we are born, but we can change where we live.
I know this is true as I did it like millions of migrants on the earth. This requires risk-taking and illness to embrace other cultures.
We can also choose our home based on our lifestyle goals.
Conclusions and Takeaways
Recognizing and accepting things we cannot control is an excellent start. This is critical for healing past wounds.
We cannot delete the memories of traumas, but we can reduce their effects by using guided or self-therapy.
Embracing any constant in our lives might sound counter-intuitive, but it is a proven psychological technique for personal growth.
When we embrace roadblocks in front of us, our psyche and higher self can guide us to find ways to overcome them.
And more importantly, by having faith in our self-esteem using self-love and self-compassion, we can address the conditions of many unchangeable challenges.
Learning to adapt immutable items is a critical success factor for our health and well-being.
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
Please add your items to either list in the comment section. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
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Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
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