‘I Slept With the Boss!’: Real Stories of Workplace Lust

Employees share their experiences with office relations

Many moons ago, long before the #MeToo movement became part of our widespread awareness, I interviewed people anonymously who had a sexual relationship with their boss for a now-defunct blog I was working on at the time. These stories are old, but they are every bit as relevant today, so I decided to share them again here. The following stories are a look at what can happen when people succumb to the lure of workplace lust — and deal with the different consequences of sex with the boss.

An Unhappy Accident

Having sex with my boss was an accident. He paid a lot of attention to me during my work hours. I worked in a casino and he was upper-level management. He always found ways to be in my work area and include himself in conversations.

After two or three weeks, he asked me out for drinks, but I refused. He asked me out again a couple of nights later. I noticed several employees went out after work, so I decided it couldn’t hurt since I was new on the job.

We had drinks, talked, and he was a gentleman.

A few nights went by and he asked me out for dinner. I succumbed. He was very attractive and quite the gentleman. He said all the right things, and was polite and well-mannered.

“He made it very clear he wanted me to go up to his room with him.”

We dated a few more times, and I drank too much one night and slept with him. It was a huge mistake that I just wanted to forget, but he wouldn’t let me. He kept after me during and after work, so I gave in to him again.

I found another job and gave my notice. I was ready to move on, but he suggested we move in together. I don’t know why I did it; I didn’t even like him. Maybe I was afraid to be alone at the time. We moved in together, and I found out much later he was a predator that preyed on women from work. He zeroed in on cocktail servers — I just happened to be the exception to his rule.

The guy was a total loser — a gambler, emotionally detached, and very manipulative. He did what predators do — prey on the perceived weak. At the time, I was just down, so it took a long time for me to get away. He had a friend in the new job who kept an eye on me, so it took me leaving town for a while to get away from him. Once I was gone, he went on to the next one.

My advice: Do not fall prey to men in the work environment unless you have an alternative plan.

Doubling His Pleasure

I had an on-and-off affair with my boss. I worked at a college and my original supervisor left. From the time my new boss got there, it was only a matter of weeks before we first slept together, even though he was married. It was taboo and dangerous and that made it sexy. Our affair continued for two years and during this time he got divorced.

We did not do a stellar job keeping our affair a secret from coworkers. The sexual energy between us was intense, and people must have sensed it at meetings. If we weren’t sitting next to each other, we were positioned to be able to communicate nonverbally. It seemed that if people didn’t know we were having an affair, they just weren’t paying attention.

“I was destined to either love him or hate him.”

Eventually any suspicion eased into an unspoken acceptance, so there wasn’t much to hide anymore because nobody cared. Just when I thought we were ready to go fully public, I found out that he began an affair with a 22-year-old student who worked in our office. She was more than half his age, and the same age as his daughter. Moreover, she was a virgin before he came along. When we learned about each other — that he was having an affair with us both, telling us both he loved us, promising us both trips to Paris and India — we drove to his house one night to confront him.

He didn’t have much to say in his defense. He admitted everything, and even arrogantly said he wouldn’t be made to choose between us. Later he told me he really wanted to be with me, but he really needed “this” right now — meaning her. He asked me to wait for him while he finished out the semester with her. I handed in my resignation and moved to another part of the country. Their affair continued for the next five years.

“It was taboo and dangerous and that made it sexy.”

Not Exactly Love at First Sight

I not only slept with my boss, I married him. My husband and I are both attorneys and we met at my job interview. Ultimately, he was to decide whether or not his firm would hire me, but I had to interview with several other lawyers for a week before I met him. Tired of my own canned interview answers to the point of not caring, I answered all of his questions quite candidly.

My husband and I didn’t experience love at first sight. As soon as I started working for him, he told me that my job was to sit down, shut up, and pay attention. He’d let me know when he thought I could handle a speaking role. That first week, he walked into my office specifically to tell me to “Trust no one.” I looked him straight in the eyes and replied, “I assume that includes you.” He said, “Yes!” That’s when he really started liking me. Since my job was to follow him around and learn, I was destined to either love him or hate him.

As much as we enjoyed working together, once we were a couple, we agreed it would be better if we didn’t work at the same firm. I’m not an advocate of office romance, but I am definitely one of the lucky ones.

“He did what predators do — prey on the perceived weak.”

Avoiding Disaster

My story dates back to the late 1970s when there were no sexual harassment laws and bosses would often make unwelcome — or occasionally welcome — passes. I was a reporter working my way up the ladder when my boss, the editor, made a blatant pass at me while we were on a business trip. I ignored most of his flirtatious comments, but when we were in a bar at the end of the day, and he launched into “I’m in a sterile marriage and you’re so attractive” mode, I became increasingly uncomfortable. To this day, I remember him saying, “All I need now is to have an affair.” He made it very clear he wanted me to go up to his room with him. I weaseled out of the situation by pretending I didn’t get his drift and made a hasty exit.

Fortunately, we were in different states, but he still tormented me as much as possible. He unfairly criticized my work, denied me a raise, and put excessive pressure on me. Luckily, within six months, I met the man I would marry and left that job, but the unfairness of the situation left a bitter aftertaste.

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