The Best of (my) Relationship Stories

A crash course in battling loneliness, building a network, boosting your social IQ, and bettering your closest relationships.

Iam wondering whether it’s a good idea to publish a “Best of” series, in which I aggregate stories built on common themes. I hope you don’t mind, but at the end of this piece I ask you to help me decide.

The idea occurred to me yesterday when I noticed that I’ve published 122 articles here since April, 2020. Not a huge number compared “top” writers. Still, on average, FOUR a month, which, to a former print journalist, is alot. (Magazine pieces rarely took less than four months.)

Never a niche writer, my Medium landing page is a (possibly confusing) smörgåsbord of subjects. My hope is that by knitting together the common threads in a group of stories, a larger tapestry will be revealed.

Relationships is my beat.

It pains me to write such a grammatically incorrect sentence. But it’s true. I report on relationships.

I always liked to watch people interact, to understand the give-and-take. As a kid, I spied on my parents and much-older siblings, eavesdropping from the stair landing as they argued in the living room below. Who knew that I’d one day make a career out of snooping!

I’ve researched and reported on the relational spectrum from the barely acquainted to can’t-live-without humans (and canines) in our lives. There is nothing more important, or more complex, than relationships. And oh! the metaphors we use to demystify them:

• The “unpeeling” of each person’s “onion” as the two get to know each other and reveal bits of their biographies. You show me yours and I’ll show you mine.
• The “dance” between them. How they glide effortlessly together or trip over each other’s feet. When one does a different step, does the other follow or leave the floor?
• The “container” that is the relationship itself — a “crucible” into which the partners’ each “pour” their personalities and pasts. The relationship is of the two and what each brings to the table. That’s why it’s never one person’s “fault.”
• The larger “network” or “constellation” of social connections that shape and change us.

Below is a grouping of the best relationship stories I’ve written for Medium — about partners, family, and consequential strangers. I was tempted in include pets, but trans-species relationships deserve a category of its own.

Partners

What’s trickier than committing to being part of “a couple” — a joining of two who decide to travel down the same river, to share life? I’ve read the books and studies and been through the fire myself.

Much to my partner’s dismay, I sometimes reference our relationship!

Family

If it’s tricky to “do” life with another adult, it’s even more challenging — especially in the age of hyper-parenting — to add children and extended family members to the mix.

Consequential Strangers

Family and close friends are important, but less-close relationships are essential, too. We meet them through school, work, leisure, play, causes we support, and to deal with what life sends our way. These are our low-stakes “wash-and wear” relationships. They anchor us and connect us to something bigger.

Hats off to the professor who first perceived their importance:

Peripheral relationships — “weak ties” — garnered attention in the early days of COVID…

…and when fear subsided and we began to tentatively reach out again.

Here’s more about “people who don’t seem to matter, but really do” (the original subtitle of the book).

Did you enjoy this round-up?

To be honest, it was nice to look back on what I’ve written, but no so enjoyable to search and copy links. Whether I write subsequent themed pieces depends, in part, on your feedback!

• Was it overwhelming/boring/annoying to read a piece with so many links?
• Would you have preferred more or less explanation?
• Were you inclined to click on the links and actually read further? And if so, was the piece, as the subtitle promises, “a crash course in battling loneliness, building a network, boosting your social IQ, and bettering your closest relationships”?

For better or worse, please let me know in the comments section!

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