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Abstract

dmedium.com/the-unbelievably-effective-way-to-break-a-strong-trauma-bond-d29b4672fa55">trauma bond</a> is forged through repeated abuse and intermittent reinforcement. During the relationship, the <a href="https://readmedium.com/will-real-love-always-be-second-to-the-extremely-intoxicating-love-bomb-trap-cab8a16fb323">chemical rush</a> from intermittent reinforcement is intoxicating. After you leave, your need for validation is clear to the next narcissist. They read exactly how to <a href="https://readmedium.com/does-every-narcissist-love-bomb-81eda47ab1b8">love bomb</a> you.The sad reality is you will always attract new narcissists until you break the <a href="https://readmedium.com/is-it-possible-to-completely-heal-from-covert-narcissistic-abuse-f21d45364539">trauma bond</a>.<h2 id="24ca">#2 The trauma bond needs to be broken so you can leave</h2>As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist with decades of experience and a 100% success rate for those who implement my <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-did-you-finally-break-your-insidious-trauma-bond-with-a-narcissist-9c07b10e8db7">breaking the trauma bond process</a>, many reach out for help breaking the <a href="https://readmedium.com/stop-the-agony-how-long-will-it-take-to-stop-missing-my-narcissist-ex-9c37f9689bce">trauma bond</a> SO THAT they can leave.Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.A therapist can help you see the trauma bond clearly, which can make it easier to leave. But the <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-unbelievably-effective-way-to-break-a-strong-trauma-bond-d29b4672fa55">trauma bond</a> cannot be broken until AFTER the relationship has ended and you’re no longer living together.Why?Remember, the trauma bond is formed by <a href="https://readmedium.com/the-unbelievably-effective-way-to-break-a-strong-trauma-bond-d29b4672fa55">repetitive abuse and intermittent reinforcement</a>. If you are still living with your abuser, the bond is being strengthened, not broken. There is no amount of <a href="https://readmedium.com/how-to-set-healthy-boundaries-736797dcee6e">boundary setting</a> that can change that.<h2 id="1518">#3 The trauma bond cannot be broken</h2>This thought is perpetuated by many survivors — specifically those who have not broken their <

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a href="https://readmedium.com/is-it-possible-to-completely-heal-from-covert-narcissistic-abuse-f21d45364539">trauma bonds</a> and thus believe it’s not possible. The reality is, many don’t remember a time pre-trauma bond, so this seems like a logical conclusion.Narcissistic abuse survivors commonly have <a href="https://readmedium.com/what-does-a-trauma-bond-with-a-narcissist-look-like-a36ff63cb70a">trauma bonds</a> with multiple narcissists. Your recent romantic relationship was a result of a previous trauma bond — typically forged with a parent, grandparent, or caregiver during childhood.Fortunately, these bonds CAN be broken. Even more fortunately, you don’t have to break them one at a time. The process I created breaks them all — quickly and without reliving the past.<h2 id="e30e">Takeaways</h2>You are strong. You are a survivor. How do I know? You’re still here. And you are worthy of an amazing life free of narcissistic abuse.If you’re still in the relationship, ending the abuse is your next step.If you’ve already left the relationship and want to put the past behind you, break your trauma bond, rewire your subconscious patterns, and <a href="https://readmedium.com/is-it-possible-to-completely-heal-from-covert-narcissistic-abuse-f21d45364539">rewrite your future</a>.It’s totally worth it.You’re totally worth it.…And if you’d like help, I’m a message away.Disclaimer: This is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a narcissistic abuse survivor turned recovery specialist and CEO of Sustainably You where we help Soul-driven leaders transcend their past experience of narcissistic abuse to create massive leaps in their health, wealth, and relationships. Download her free guide,<a href="http://liveantifragile.com/"> 7 Surprising, Costly Mistakes Leaders Make After Narcissistic Abuse</a> and find information about working with her on <a href="https://melissakaltmd.com/">her website</a>.</article></body>

3 Things Every Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Gets Wrong About a Trauma Bond

Don’t feel badly — I did, too…

I was in a good place after I left the abusive relationship, completed therapy, and found myself again — until I realized I was a narcissist super magnet.

I was living my best life, not even looking for a relationship, but they kept finding me. Even worse, they reached out to me to collaborate or partner in business. And worst yet, some persuaded me to hire them for business support — overpromising and under delivering.

At best, I identified the red flags and ended contact quickly, losing my precious time in the process. At worst, I lost time and money — lots of time and money.

At the time, I had a very limited understanding of the trauma bond. To be honest, it sounded like something for suckers, for the weak. I didn’t identify that way. I was thriving. I was determined to put my past behind me and move forward.

My lack of understanding cost me dearly. That’s why I’m breaking down these three common misconceptions — so they don’t cost you.

#1 Once you’re over your ex, your trauma bond is broken

Wouldn’t it be nice if this were true? It isn’t.

The visible part of a trauma bond prevents you from seeing the relationship as abusive, leads you to stay even once you see it clearly, and makes you miss the relationship once it’s over.

The trouble is the trauma bond goes much deeper than that.

A trauma bond is forged through repeated abuse and intermittent reinforcement. During the relationship, the chemical rush from intermittent reinforcement is intoxicating. After you leave, your need for validation is clear to the next narcissist. They read exactly how to love bomb you.

The sad reality is you will always attract new narcissists until you break the trauma bond.

#2 The trauma bond needs to be broken so you can leave

As a narcissistic abuse recovery specialist with decades of experience and a 100% success rate for those who implement my breaking the trauma bond process, many reach out for help breaking the trauma bond SO THAT they can leave.

Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way.

A therapist can help you see the trauma bond clearly, which can make it easier to leave. But the trauma bond cannot be broken until AFTER the relationship has ended and you’re no longer living together.

Why?

Remember, the trauma bond is formed by repetitive abuse and intermittent reinforcement. If you are still living with your abuser, the bond is being strengthened, not broken. There is no amount of boundary setting that can change that.

#3 The trauma bond cannot be broken

This thought is perpetuated by many survivors — specifically those who have not broken their trauma bonds and thus believe it’s not possible. The reality is, many don’t remember a time pre-trauma bond, so this seems like a logical conclusion.

Narcissistic abuse survivors commonly have trauma bonds with multiple narcissists. Your recent romantic relationship was a result of a previous trauma bond — typically forged with a parent, grandparent, or caregiver during childhood.

Fortunately, these bonds CAN be broken. Even more fortunately, you don’t have to break them one at a time. The process I created breaks them all — quickly and without reliving the past.

Takeaways

You are strong. You are a survivor. How do I know? You’re still here. And you are worthy of an amazing life free of narcissistic abuse.

If you’re still in the relationship, ending the abuse is your next step.

If you’ve already left the relationship and want to put the past behind you, break your trauma bond, rewire your subconscious patterns, and rewrite your future.

It’s totally worth it.

You’re totally worth it.

…

And if you’d like help, I’m a message away.

Disclaimer: This is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.

Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a narcissistic abuse survivor turned recovery specialist and CEO of Sustainably You where we help Soul-driven leaders transcend their past experience of narcissistic abuse to create massive leaps in their health, wealth, and relationships. Download her free guide, 7 Surprising, Costly Mistakes Leaders Make After Narcissistic Abuse and find information about working with her on her website.