ILLUMINATION Writers

Interview with Charles Roast

Featuring creative writers of ILLUMINATION

Purpose of the Story

In this story, I share with you an interview that I conducted with Charles Roast. Charles (now we call him Chuck) is a creative humor writer on ILLUMINATION.

Interestingly, I head-hunted Charles to ILLUMINATION after reading one of his hilarious stories. I knew our readers would like his content. I was right! He finds amazing words and phrases to make us laugh even on the most serious topics.

His humor always offers important life lessons hidden in his creative, intricate, and engaging stories. I am grateful that Chuck accepted my offer to participate in this interview. Let’s explore his creative mind and warm heart!

Tell us a bit about your background, Chuck.

Well, Charles Roast was born somewhere between the middle and near the end of 2019. He was born as the result of a surmised need to conceal the identity of the person behind the beard.

The reasoning for the nom de plume (or as some say, nom de guerre), isn’t real clear. However, I believe it’s because of a paranoid fear that my writing style and content wouldn’t be accepted by readers if they knew the real me. Or maybe the real me was concerned that HIS writing would not be accepted if he also wrote like Chuck Roast.

Without giving too much away, I am really a very hairy woman writing as a man. I have bought into that silly business about not shaving my body hair that some writers are proposing. Big mistake!

Originally, I am from the Midwest. I now live in Southern California. I have had some pretty interesting jobs, and I have an advanced degree. I also really do have a Dad-Bod that drives the Lay-Deez wild.

I am 29 years old, married for 26 of those years, soon to be single (Lay -Deez? Drop me your digits. . .Uh, is that a saying?). I am father to two wonderful, loving boys.

This picture of me is the best I can do at the moment. Pretty sexy, eh?

Why do you write on Medium?

That’s a good question. I have been trying to remember how I discovered Medium, but I truly cannot remember. I believe someone recommended it, so I checked it out and thought it looked perfect. Why? Because everything I write can get published and I don’t have to worry about rejection. Plus, I am making SO much money!

Seriously: I have written some very good “technical” stuff in my past, but I have always wanted to write stuff that truly had an impact, whether it be emotionally, humorously, or thought-provokingishly. Medium gives me that opportunity. I really enjoy reading considered comments, whether they be critical or supportive.

I love interacting with readers who leave comments, although lately it is getting more and more difficult to find the time to do more than acknowledge the comments. But that will change soon.

Further, everyone, for the most part, has been kind, helpful, engaging and friendly. Where else can you get that kind of engagement?

Medium also gives me the opportunity to write a lot, which, I hope, helps improve my writing. I try not to make the same writing mistakes more than a few dozen times before I learn not to make ’em any more. And now that I know Holly Jahangiri, she keeps me pretty much in check by scrutinizing my every word.

Hint: Holly has a thing for misplaced apostrophes. She LOVES them. She’d marry them if she could. Saturate your comments in her articles with them. Mix up possessive’s with plural’s (see what I did there?).

What are your values as a writer?

Values? I had to look that word up. Several meanings to the word. I’ll go with “a person’s principles or standards of behavior; one’s judgment of what is important in life”.

I want to cause emotional responses. I want people to laugh out loud, especially now. I love it when people tell me they laughed out loud at what I wrote. I also want to touch hearts with some of the more poignant pieces I am trying to write.

I want to create “new” content (even tho some people say there is no “new” content, just the same content with a different perspective). I also want to take risks and be as honest as I can, whether it’s an article about poop (check my past stories), or what having a Dad-Bod really means to me.

What are the top three books that have affected your life?

That’s a tough question because I read constantly and don’t typically save my books. I usually donate them to Disabled American Veterans. However, I grew up on superhero comics and science fiction. Many of my values in life were developed and mentored by the behaviors I read about in Superman, Batman, etc., and later carried over into my work and personal life. Maybe that’s why I have a rescue complex and despise bullying so much.

As for science fiction, I absolutely devoured the classic authors, and anything written by Isaac Asimov, Robert Heinlein, Arthur C. Clark, Ray Bradbury, Philip K. Dick, Joe Haldeman, Larry Niven, and more.

When I was in high school, I found a copy of Shogun by James Clavell and couldn’t put it down. I had no idea or knowledge of 1600’s Japan, and I was enthralled with the story-telling ability of Clavell.

Some specific books that stand out in my mind from other authors I enjoyed would be:

1. The Chronicles of Thomas Covenant by Stephen R. Donaldson

2. The Road by Cormac McCarthy

3. On The Beach by Nevil Shute

What are your hobbies?

Besides the time-sucking and frustrating Medium activities of reading and writing? I’m working on solving the issues plaguing quantum computing, such as shorter algorithms and decoherence. Further, in my spare time, I am working on developing a strong enough magnetic field that will remain stable long enough for a fusion reaction to produce reliable and usable amounts of energy.

I also like to take naps. And I am re-discovering my love for photography, exploring what is left of nature, and messing with the lives of my sons.

Soon, my hobbies will include figuring out the right profile for online dating sites, and trying to learn the banjo. I want to be Steve Martin when I grow up. Besides, who doesn’t want to play the Deliverance song on a banjo?

How do you connect with your readers?

Mostly by stalking them online. Once I find out their likes and dislikes, I pretend to have many of the same ideals and become fast friends with them. Once that happens, I discover where they live and sit outside their residences watching them through their windows, filming them, and using thermal imaging to see through their walls.

Seems to be working okay so far. I’m still not allowed to leave the country, but when my lawyer gets me removed from the no-fly list, I’ll be able to better “connect” with those writers who live in other countries. That should be fun. I’ve always wanted to visit Japan. . .and England. . .and Germany. . .and Canada. . .and Australia. . .and Texas.

Again, seriously, I read their stories and profiles, then pretend we have something in common, then I ask them for money.

Okay. I thoroughly enjoy reading and making comments on their stories, interacting on Slack, and emailing each other. I am reluctant to talk to anyone in person because I am afraid they’ll discover I’m a fraud. Kristi Keller’s podcast invitation is scaring the hell out of me, so I am glad she has a new puppy and has to go back to work. Sorry, Kristi.

Why did you join ILLUMINATION and how do you find it so far?

Well, if memory serves, I was invited to join by you. Suffice to say, I was extremely impressed by your good taste in choosing me. How could I not accept?

So far, I find it fairly fascinating. I have been able to watch how successful it has become and how much hard work and time it takes to make something so successful. I am learning a lot about social media and am finding easier ways to “connect” with my readers.

Also, I’ve never belonged to a cult, so I thought this would be fun. I expected more, um, I don’t know, psychedelic drug use and orgies, though. That’s been a little disappointing. Maybe it’s the quarantine rules. I’ll wait a little longer. . .

As for the rest, it has been extremely rewarding. I have made some new on-line friends that I connect with via email, Slack, Twitter, and sometimes, Linked-In. Although I must admit, I still have trouble figuring out Twitter. Also, I battle constantly with Facebook’s AI in trying to create a FB page for Charles Roast so I can post and connect as him online. Damn thing just won’t let me do it.

Who are the top ten writers you follow on ILLUMINATION?

Well, I try to read as much as I can that looks interesting (which is why the title of the story is so important). But the first people I truly connected with through Medium are the ones I mostly keep track of, as well as some of the newer ones I met in Illumination. Choosing ten is difficult because I hate to leave anyone out. So, whomever comes to my mind gets listed: Susan Brearley, Holly Jahangiri, P.G. Barnett, Kevin Buddaeus, Kristi Keller, Julia E Hubbel, Casey Botticello, J.J. Pryor . . . and so many more! I was gonna put some others down, but when I read their interviews and saw they didn’t list me in their top ten, I removed them from the list and picked people who appreciate me.

What are the top 10 article tags that you use?

Well, I just recently read an article that said there are 73 tags that are “Top Writer” tags. Let’s see. . .who wrote that? I believe it was Casey Botticello. So, I bookmarked it and will start trying to “game the system” a little more just to see if it works. It kinda livens things up, and makes me focus on writing different styles.

In the past, I have mainly used “Humor” “Satire” “Creativity” “Writing” “Life” “Penis Enlargement” “Poetry” “Haiku” “Relationships” “Love” “Mindfulness”. Hmmm? That’s eleven. Is that okay, Doc?

What are your top five stories that you want to share with your audience and why?

Well, that’s like saying which son is your favorite (the younger one, but don’t let the older one find out-he still owes me money). So, let’s see:

1. Captains Log, Crew Member Roast Reporting: This is the first and only story which reached over a thousand claps(1.7k) and, also, the story I made the most money on so far, $4.23. I was kind of surprised this story did so well because I wondered if it didn’t sound too corny.

2. A Haiku by Chuck Roast: I like this one because this was my first attempt at Haiku, and I liked the way it turned out.

3. Remember The Founders and Their Reasons: This is my first and only curation. It’s strange, because I have spent the last 4 months or so writing mostly humor and satire and have never been curated, yet one of my first real attempts at poetry gets curated. Go figure! But this one was written from the heart and meant a lot to me.

4. My Definition of a Dad-Bod is Probably Not What You Think: Probably a little, or maybe a lot, of TMI here. But the story was heartfelt and allowed me to purge a little of the angst, hurt, and guilt I was feeling at the time. Plus, I think it’s pretty well written, if I do say so myself.

5. Pick Up Some Penis? Whaat?: This was one of my favorites. It’s basically a true story, with a little embellishment to encourage the humor. Plus, Julia E Hubbel left me a response that said: “I just fell off the toilet. I refuse to read you in the bathroom any more.” That made me laugh out loud! It was the best compliment. I mean, just the fact she was reading me in the bathroom says A LOT about what she thinks of my work. And who DOESN’T want to be read in the bathroom?

You know, I have soooo many great articles. The readers should just check ’em all out. Especially the collaboration I did with Holly Jahangiri. That was a lot of fun and work, but everyone should try it at least once.

What are the success factors for you as a writer on Medium?

If you mean, “What factors have made me a success on Medium?” I would probably say success is “relative.” Since joining Illumination, I have a lot more overall contact with more readers than before Illumination, even though I was published in several very good publications.

If you mean, “What factors would you consider essential to being a success on Medium?” I would have to say: finding the right community to write with, like Illumination. Members read your work and comment on it, which is extremely rewarding; Second, the obvious one is writing well, and writing good, content. “Well” in the sense that we should all strive to write the best we can, and “good” meaning we should write things people want to read.

That doesn’t mean you cannot write what you want, but my writing mantra is, “I write to be read.”, try to write and publish enough so you can maintain contact with the readers who appreciate your work. Last, have fun! Why do it if you are not having fun? It certainly isn’t the money. I have fun writing, trying new styles, learning the proper structure of a story, seeing what people respond to, reading how others write and tell stories, and creating the content. And Illumination has made that more fun.

What do you recommend to the new writers on ILLUMINATION?

This is easy. No smartass answers here. DON’T DO IT! RUN AWAY! FAST!

Damn. When I wrote those first two sentences above, I was serious. But then I got sucked in.

Here’s my advice: there are many smart writers on Illumination, who make many good suggestions. Everyone on Illumination, and most everyone on Medium, is willing to be helpful. Ask for advice, have some of us “beta read” your articles for friendly editing advice, read as many articles as you can, and write and publish a lot. Interact with the comments people leave. Make new friends. Have fun! And submit some stories to my pub, Dad-Bods.

What are your plans as a writer?

I need to find better writers to follow and read. Seriously, reading them is only making my writing worse. Sometimes, I cannot understand their poetry. . . Holly.

Future plans? Well, I’d like to build a successful greeting card company (Thanks, Emme Beckett!). I’d also like to build a successful Substack blog that I can eventually charge for so I can focus only on writing and vacationing with Victoria Secret models. I don’t need much, maybe 5000 followers who pay, say $10/month. That should be enough. . .for now.

I’d also like to be more serious, but I just cannot stop saying smartass things. As a result, when I write serious stuff, readers aren’t sure how to take it.

Right now, I am focusing on learning how to write better: more succinctly, more organized, and better storytelling. Part of that process is reading great articles by great writers, of which there are many on Illumination in specific, and Medium in general.

I’d also like to put together a little short storybook and self-publish for the experience, and so I have cheap and wonderful gifts to give out on birthdays and Christmas.

Hey, Doc? Thanks for inviting me to this interview, and thanks for all the hard work you are putting into Illumination. And thanks to all of the other writers who are helping make illumination become bigger and better every day!

Write On!

To find out more about me, check out Introduction to Chuck Roast

Thank you for your valuable time, Chuck. I look forward to reading more funny stories from your creative pen. Your contribution to our publication is greatly appreciated by our writers and readers. You are an inspirational writer on ILLUMINATION. We adore your content.

If you are a writer on ILLUMINATION and would like to be interviewed, please send a request via this link with the title of “Interview Request”.

Other Interviews

You may also check other interviews I conducted with inspiring writers of ILLUMINATION recently. These stories can provide a great opportunity to know more about our creative writers and connect with them.

Timothy Key

Desiree Driesenaar

Holly Jahangiri

Ming Qian

P.G. Barnett

Jill Ebstein

Bill Abbate

Terry Mansfield

Ann K Frailey

Woei T

Kevin Buddaeus

You might check more interviews in the attached collection.

You can find inspiring profiles of ILLUMINATION writers from this story.

Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.

About the Author

Thank you for subscribing to my content. I share my health and well-being stories in my publication, Euphoria. If you are new to Medium, you may join by following this link. A small part of your membership fee will not only support my writing but your reading times can support many great writers on this platform. I see opportunities endless for readers and writers on Medium. You can join my publications as a writer requesting access via this weblink.

Besides self-improvement, leadership, technology, and health, I also enjoy writing about essential molecules such as alpha-lipoic acid, n-acetyl-cysteine, acetyl-l-carnitine, creatine, choline, digestive enzymes, magnesium, hydrolyzed collagen, nootropics, CoQ10, NADH, TMG, pure nicotine, activated charcoal, Vitamin B12, Vitamin B1, Vitamin D, Vitamin K2, and other nutrients for health and fitness.