See Failures as Stepping Stones to Success
There is nothing to fear of failure; it is just a perception of the confused mind.
If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.
This story is not about denying the effects of failure.
I’ve no intention of implying readers wear pink glasses like Pollyanna. My goal is to inspire you to think differently about perceived failures.
Like everyone else, I suffered from so-called failures and shortcomings, living in the reality zone. This story is about reframing failures logically and intuitively to use them as stepping stones to success.
Here’s why I believe there is no such thing as failure.
Highlighting this questionable statement, I mean that failure is not an absolute and objective concept but a subjective interpretation of setbacks, challenges, shortcomings, or rejections we encounter.
Instead of viewing failures or shortcomings as final and permanent, reframing them as opportunities for learning and growth can be more beneficial.
Failure is a paralyzing outcome for many people. The fear of failure can prevent them from realizing their dreams. But if they can learn to reframe failure as a stepping stone to success, as I discuss in this story, their perception might change to a positive outlook.
Perceptions are subjective psychological constructs. They can vary from person to person based on their experiences and interpretation of sensory information from our environments.
This idea means different people can perceive the same situation differently, depending on their perspectives. The critical point to managing perceptions is changing our perspectives. Different viewpoints can yield different perceptions and can produce different outcomes.
The idea that failure does not exist in life might be seen as a mindset shift that encourages you to reframe your perception of challenges and setbacks as children naturally do while learning to walk.
Instead of viewing your processes and outcomes as failures, seeing them as opportunities or blessings to learn and grow can liberate you from the anxiety and fear it creates.
This optimistic, cheerful, and growth mindset might help you overcome fear and obstacles, build resilience, and allow you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams.
I don’t underestimate the effects of negative feelings when we face setbacks in life. It creates discomfort and even pain for some people. So, when making this suggestion, I do not decline or diminish the challenges and difficulties we face. They can hurt anyone naturally.
However, discomfort from unpleasant feelings should not discourage us from repeatedly trying to reach our goals. On the contrary, by embracing the lessons from our unpleasant experiences, we can grow stronger, wiser, and more resilient.
The concept of failure, in general, is perceived as a negative outcome. However, many successful people use failure to create positive results.
For example, failure is seen as an essential part of the learning process in science and technology projects. Successful scientists and technologists don’t see failure or shortcomings as sinister, detrimental, or soul-crushing experiences.
Scientists conducting experiments usually don’t get the results they expect or want. They see each failure as valuable information that can help them refine their hypotheses and alter their methods until they achieve the desired outcomes.
I also observed the same in the business, leadership, and entrepreneurship disciplines. Wise business leaders and entrepreneurs see failure as a stepping stone to success.
Many successful business owners or entrepreneurs have experienced multiple failures before achieving their goals. However, each failure teaches them important lessons about their industry, customers, and themselves, which they can use to improve their strategies and ultimately achieve success.
For example, Forbes reports 90% of startups to fail. Bloomberg highlights that failed entrepreneurs find more success the second time.
We also heard wise quotes from successful leaders in the past. For example, Thomas Edison said, “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work,” Henry Ford said, “Failure is simply the opportunity to begin again, this time more intelligently.”
Edison did not see his experiments that did not result in a working lightbulb as “failures” but as steps towards finding the right solution. Ford implies that we should take what we learned from the failure and use it to make informed decisions moving forward.
Reframing Failure and Its Components
The two most experienced components of failure are setbacks and rejections. They are essential aspects of personal and business relationships. Both setbacks and rejections can hurt, but they are necessary for growth.
I approach setbacks and rejections intellectually and intuitively by asking and answering questions honestly. For example, if I ask, “What does this setback or rejection mean to me?” and “How can I use this as a tool for my growth?”
Reframing rejection logically rather than focusing on the emotional aspect of it can produce great results by giving breathing space. But this does not mean denying emotions as they are important messengers.
Understanding and expressing them is a helpful approach. By acknowledging our emotions, understanding their sources, and dealing with them using affirmative action, we can improve our emotional maturity.
We can change our perception of setbacks and rejections by asking powerful questions. First, dealing with setbacks and rejection is critical to being aware of, accepting, and understanding their purpose. Then, the intuitive part of reframing them can be valuable.
One way of framing rejections is to remember that the universe or our higher self might be protecting us from future damage by showing us this setback or rejection, even if we cannot perceive their benefits at the time.
It is normal to take setbacks or rejections personally initially. However, it is crucial to understand that most setbacks and rejections occur due to factors beyond our control.
Looking at them objectively and determining whether they create potentially harmful implications for our reputation and integrity can empower us. It can also be helpful to look at them from others’ perspectives and understand or empathize with the pressures they may be facing.
From the intuitive angle, forgiveness is another crucial element in lowering the effects of setbacks or rejections that can heal our emotional wounds. For example, by forgiving the mistakes of others, we reframe setbacks and rejections as blessings in disguise, bringing us new opportunities.
Inspiring Examples from Personal Stories
In this section, I’d like to give a few examples from people in my circles who turned major setbacks and rejections into successful outcomes by not seeing them as failures.
Magie was rejected by her husband, leaving her with two young kids. She also experienced the setback of obesity in her younger years. However, by reframing her setbacks and rejections and taking personal responsibility with positive actions, she became a healthy, wealthy, and wise person.
Similarly, Eliza was a single mom of three kids rejected by her husband at a young age, and she faced excessive weight gain, metabolic disorders, and mood fluctuations. Like Maggie, she also took personal responsibility and leveraged professional support to transform her life.
Alberto lost his libido and gained substantial weight, preventing him from enjoying life. Instead of seeing these setbacks as a failure, he saw them as an opportunity to grow, which helped him transform his physique, optimize his testosterone, and improve his relationship with his partner.
Jeremy was born as a deaf child, and his parents died at an early age. He couldn’t connect with the world initially like other privileged people. But instead of seeing his deafness as a failure, he used it as the power to strengthen his other senses, which allowed him to become a centenarian.
Like Jeremy, Gisela is another centenarian in my circles. Her situation was also dramatic as she was only a year old when her parents died in the last year of World World I in Germany. But Gisela, leveraging the power of her setbacks, became an altruistic businesswoman, changing the lives of many orphans like herself.
And Nancy had even harsher setbacks as her family members were killed in front of her eyes when she was a little girl during World World II. She had a difficult life in Phillippines, but she took risks migrating to Australia at a young age with no money. She started a new life from zero and raised kids who became professionals.
I compiled many more stories like these in my Collection of Insightful Life Lessons from My Personal Stories. I hope they inspire you to reframe failures as stepping stones to successful outcomes.
In a recent story, I summarized six major setbacks I experienced in 2022 and explained how I overcame them and turned so-called failures into successful outcomes.
Takeaways to Turn Failures to Success Sustainably
Observe your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors through intentional introspection to gain awareness, a growth mindset, and openness toward others and difficult situations.
Use your intellect and logic to gain awareness of situations without catastrophizing them, intentionally calm the amygdala, and lower immediate stress and anxiety.
Look at the bigger picture by accepting situations and events no matter how intense and disturbing they might be. Embrace everything that comes to your consciousness first as visitors.
Develop your solutions with optimism, a growth mindset, and acceptance instead of delaying resolution through resistance and denial.
Whenever you feel tense sensations, use mindful breathing and gentle exercises to lower mental clutter and calm your mind amidst emotional turmoil, creating a space that might lead to calmness.
Plan proactively and produce pragmatically and manage stress intentionally and persistently.
Practice self-care, self-compassion, and love yourself despite your mistakes. And forgive your and others’ mistakes, and approach others with empathy, compassion, and kindness.
Regulate emotions and perform self-therapy. Remember your blessings, cultivate gratitude with realistic optimism, and avoid pessimistic thoughts.
More importantly, to create sustainable success, increase your adversity quotient gradually to become resilient and unflappable amidst chaotic situations.
I explained how to strengthen the adversity quotient in six steps. Here are the key points:
1 — Accept people, situations, and circumstances.
2 — Turn setbacks into opportunities.
3 — Embrace negative criticism and tolerate uncertainty.
4 — Convert envy into admiration and boredom into excitement.
5 — Tame the overactive amygdala and limbic system.
6 — Move from comfort to stretch zone or risk zone.
Here’s How You Can Enjoy Your Life More in Better Zones.
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
Thank you for reading my perspectives. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
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As part of my creative non-fiction writing goals, I’d like to share a few stories that might warm our hearts with a bit of humor into weighty topics.
Sample Humorous Stories
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