Life Lessons
Five Valuable Life Lessons from a Filipino Elderly
A serendipitous encounter in an Airbnb accommodation in Canberra
A Serendipitous Encounter
I met Nancy — an elderly Australian who migrated from the Philippines — in her daughter’s Airbnb house in Canberra, Australia.
She was close to being a centenarian when I met her before the pandemic. The host of the house was Dr. Hazel Lim, a data scientist who introduced me to her mother after my dinner.
My previous Airbnb experience was not as pleasant as this accommodation.
As mentioned in this story, I was thrown out of an Airbnb house by a person who disliked my diet. But these people made me feel at home and invited me to their living room to chat with them.
Nancy was a wonderful elderly, unfortunately experiencing Alzheimer’s disease. Her dementia makes her forgetful about current events, but she remembers the past in detail, especially her traumas in World World II.
Her family members were killed in front of her eyes when she was a little girl.
Her story triggered colossal sadness in me and even brought some tears. Interestingly, according to her daughter, Nancy did not speak with other guests as she did with me. Not even one word.
However, Nancy hugged me and even kissed me on the cheek. She told me her childhood stories generously.
Dr. Lim was surprised by her mother’s acceptance of me and wanted me to stay longer, hoping I might have triggered her mother’s memories and helped her feel better about her dementia as she couldn’t accept it.
I extended my trip and stayed two more nights in their lovely home. Besides, Dr. Lim gave brilliant ideas about my Big Data project, which I ran for a client in Canberra. It was a godsend for me, and they said the same thing about my visit. I am grateful for this serendipitous encounter.
In this post, I’d like to briefly share five valuable life lessons I learned from Nancy when listening to her childhood and adulthood stories.
1 — Love is the Ultimate Goal
Nancy believed that loving and being loved saved her life. She learned to love her family as they gave her abundant love. She loved her husband and her children dearly.
She confirmed that everything she achieved was contributed by deep love in her heart. Her love of children encouraged her to take risks and migrate to Australia at a young age with no money. She started a new life from zero.
Her purpose was to give good education and a better standard of life to her children. And her loving approach to new challenges paid off.
2 — Traumas Never Leave Us
Her story about World World II reminded me of the movie titled Schindler’s List. Nancy’s words, like that movie, left a strong impression on me.
It was so sorrowful that my heart was bleeding when I was listening to her descriptions. Some of her family members who did not obey the rules of attackers in her country were killed in front of her eyes.
As a little girl, she cried constantly and had nightmares about the cruelty.
Even though she had many therapy sessions, her memories always stayed with her. She always felt sadness and grief. She told me that traumas always remained with us even if the memories got blurred.
3 — Nothing Remains the Same
Nancy said everything is ephemeral in life.
She saw many changes in her country and Australia. When she went back to the Philippines, she couldn’t recognize her friends and the places she loved. Everything significantly changed.
She believed that change was good, but it gave her some sadness. She accepted her emotions.
Many good changes reduced the effects of her traumatic childhood memories. Seeing her children educated and working in senior roles made her very happy.
4 — Self-Confidence for Survival
Despite many challenges in her life, Nancy never lost her self-confidence.
With this internal confidence, she overcame numerous challenges in life. She lived with optimism and always believed something good will appear in her life. She honored me, saying my visit was a serendipitous encounter for her.
She also thought I had self-confidence as I opened my heart to her and her family. Her lovely and reassuring words meant a lot to me and further improved my self-confidence.
5 — Creativity Means Nothing If It’s Not Marketed
Nancy affectionately called her daughter silly. Her daughter Dr Hazel Lim is a data scientist and big data analytics expert in Canberra advising Australia’s government organizations.
However, Dr. Hazel did not enjoy marketing her skills and couldn’t present herself confidently to commercial clients. Therefore, Nancy always advised her daughter to focus on promoting her skills. She said we shouldn’t be shy to market our skills.
When Nancy learned about my books, she wanted to see them. She asked me whether I market them. When I said no, she was not impressed and said creativity would not mean anything unless we promoted it. She wanted to take this picture with two of my books in my travel suitcase at the time. When I was hesitant to get them photographed, she insisted.
Her elderly wisdom encouraged me to market my books. For the first time this year, I took the opportunity to market one of my books and remembered Nancy’s wise words when I experienced euphoric joy.
Final Words
Meeting Nancy and Dr. Lim gave me valuable insights and important life lessons. Her pain was so noticeable. However, her openness, transparency, optimism, and hospitality helped me connect with her at multiple levels.
I felt like an angel touched my heart at a time I needed assurance for some life decisions. So, I provided some mind-boosting exercises to boost her memory and to appreciate their hospitality.
Nancy particularly loved the self-conversation technique and giggled when I mentioned it. She introduced me to her beloved doll Paty, as shown in the main photo.
Dr. Lim confirmed on a recent phone call that Nancy was doing those exercises and enjoying them. They wanted to visit me when I went back to Melbourne.
Unfortunately, due to the Covid situation, they couldn’t travel. But this lovely senior citizen and her friendly family stayed in my memories and became my virtual friends.
Thank you for reading my sad yet empowering story. I wish you a healthy and happy life.
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