Coronavirus: Under 40’s Most At Risk
Some good news at last, masturbation fights Coronavirus.
And while you clean up… or if you are Benjamin Netanyahu, get an army of children to clean up for you… we will move onto the EU.
Oh wait… is the Vatican in the EU?… who cares…. because having said the Pope does not have coronavirus, it seems he does.
Elsewhere in Italy 16 million people are about to be placed in quarantine; including Milan. The move comes as the the death toll rose to 197, with 49 people dying in a single day. According to an Italian doctor the age of those infected ranges from 46–83, with only a small number having substantial underlying medical conditions.
Ok boomer, you say… and indeed there are plenty who do… but if you are relying on those ‘approved Chinese figures’ of Feb 10th, you might want to question how they were collected, and why they look like standard flu statistics.
Of course questions are verboten, certainly you are not to question WHO.
Thus we reach a paradox.
For the same people ‘not worried’ by the boomer zombie apocalypse, are the people who absolutely refuse to believe Orange Man Bad when he says that the warm winds of April will blow away the… erm… flu. And, will cry out like Canute at the lack of healthcare provision.
As a humble satyr, there is something PrEPosterous about the excel projections of 200,000 million dead. But consider this. Or to put it another way, what we saw in China, and appear to be seeing in France.
Because it is a matter of time.
Do you risk getting infected, to get the bed (assuming you get a bad enough bong hit to be hospitalised) and hope to recover with some immunity?
Yes… yes… I know, there is no immunity…. but when the Chinese were buggering about with vampire medicine, it was found that some patients did have more immunity than others. And, the Taiwanese isolated antigens a month ago.
Or do you wrap yourself in femidoms, hand-shandying away your self-isolation, until covered in white blood cells you seek out medical (and probably psychiatric) help for your sniffles. Only to find all the beds full of boomers whacked out on anti-AIDS drugs and chloroquine.
You can argue about Medicare-for-all or NHS funding until you are POC in the face, but no healthcare system (except perhaps Saudi Arabia) is ever going to be prepared for a situation like this… especially if it goes on for months….
So stock up with loo-roll… in case you get the version with diarrhea before the fever (you might want to get some paracetamol too, while stocks last).
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Previous posts…
March
March 1st — Coronavirus Comes to Town
March 2nd — Coronavirus by Numbers
March 3rd — Coronavirus Bombshell
March 4th — Coronavirus Hoax
March 5th — Coronavirus Like AIDS (Sort Of Like)
March 6th — Coronavirus: Is it Time to Kill Dogs?
February
Feb 3rd — Coronavirus May Be Serious
Feb 4th — Coronavirus Spreading, But Rumours Contained
Feb 5th — Report Says Thousands Killed By Coronavirus in China
Feb 6th — Coronavirus Conspiracy Theories
Feb 7th — Coronavirus Misinformation
Feb 8th — Coronavirus ‘Self Isolates’ China
Feb 9th — China Comes Clean on Coronavirus
Feb 10th — Britain Braces for Coronavirus
Feb 11th — Coronavirus: Chinese Market News
Feb 12th — Coronavirus Relaunches As COVID19
Feb 13th — Coronavirus Figures Explained
Feb 14th — Coronavirus Phoney War
Feb 15th — Coronavirus And AIDS
Feb 16th — Creating the Coronavirus
Feb 17th — Coronavirus Kamikaze
Feb 18th — Coronavirus Conundrum
Feb 19th — China Coronavirus Crisis
Feb 20th — Debunking Coronavirus Conspiracies
Feb 21st — Coronavirus Goes on Tour
Feb 22nd — Coronavirus Grimoire
Feb 23rd — Coronavirus Cannibals
Feb 24th — Coronavirus Facts
Feb 25th — Matt Hancock’s Coronavirus Chaos
Feb 26th — Will Coronavirus be Donald Trump’s Waterloo
Feb 27th — ‘HIV-like’ Coronavirus Found
Feb 28th — The Politics of Coronavirus
Feb 29th — Coronavirus Hits France
