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500 People Entered The Pub — You Won’t Believe What Happened Next
I couldn’t believe it myself.
Thursday, 30 March 2023, Medium. It is with pride that the creator, curator, editor-in-chief, and factotum of The Pub received his trophy from the hands of Coach Tony yesterday.
Look at this beauty.
When asked how he planned to celebrate, the mysterious person behind The Pub said he thought of tagging the 500 crazy fools in one big fat tag wall for which writers like Grimsby Hackney became famous.
Lucky for us, his grandma threatened to disown him if he used the tagwall technique. We obtained a transcript of her admonition, “listen to me. I’m a pink belt in social media. You can tag 500 people, but please be clever about it. Write a story and spread their names all over. It’s much better for reading time; ask Michael Burg, MD if you don’t believe me.”
We also asked the jack-off all trades at The Pub what were his proudest accomplishments.
He mentioned publishing Ben Ulansey and Janice Harayda’s articles. Although he didn’t help (at all), they both got boosted — twice for the latter (Boost 1, Boost 2, Boost 3).
He was also happy for Kristine Laco, who managed to publish in real life her article for The Pub and even got paid for it. “I didn’t edit a single word of it. That was my contribution,” he told us with happy tears in his eyes.
He added that his greatest joy was to see the authors break the 1,000-view mark like Loudt Darrow or Philip S. Naudus did (One K1, One K2).
When asked if he was jealous, he vehemently denied using the profile pictures of these authors for dartboard practice or as toilet paper. “I have a big pile of 2020 vintage toilet paper rolls I can use,” he said while giving us NFT pictures of said pile.
“Seriously, I’m happy for them. It’s a win-win situation, you know? They get views, and I get nothing in exchange,” he added while writing SARCASM with toilet paper rolls on the floor.
“No, but seriously seriously, this time. I created The Pub for Kristen Stark. She’s a genius. I would say fucking genius, but I gave away my last fuck yesterday. And, sadly, she’s a misunderstood genius, but I’m proud to say that — thanks to The Pub, her masterpiece completely broke her previous record and got 17 views.”
With so many successes, many would retire and enjoy a life well-lived.
That’s not the style of The Pub’s handyman. “I’m here to stay. The Pub is one of the only places where writers can publish whatever they want. We don’t ask them to respect any formatting guidelines, or anything really — except for the Medium guidelines.”
“Because you love free speech?” we asked.
“No. It’s because I’m lazy.”
He waited a few seconds before adding, “joking. It’s because of my Grandma. As a young writer, she couldn’t get her articles into publications because she was a misfit. As I grew up, I swore I would create a place accepting her stories. And look at her now! She’s an editor of The Pub, helping me create this space for all the misfit writers around here. We’re very proud.”
Not gonna lie. We shed a tear or two and asked our final question.
“What will happen next?”
“You won’t believe it,” he replied, disappearing in a cloud of claps.
