The 4 Best Ways to Pleasure a Woman

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The worst kind of sex is the kind that makes you wonder why you even bothered.

That’s how I felt when I had fallen into a sexual rut with my husband.

It’s not that the sex was bad, exactly. It’s just that it wasn’t exciting anymore. Everything had become so predictable that I could time every move down to the second.

All that predictability meant I struggled to get aroused. I wouldn’t get my lady boner up again until we started spicing things up and adding lots of variety to our sex life.

I wanted the playfulness of not really knowing what we were going to do next. I wanted the spontaneity of getting caught up in the moment and deciding how to fuck right then and there.

I wanted small surprises that took my breath away. I wanted new moves and new combinations of positions.

Mostly, I wanted both of us to feel like we were fully present, which is hard to do when you’re kind of going through the motions.

So, we started experimenting. Over the next few years, we tried whatever felt fun. We read up on new techniques and put them to the test. We got some serious, muscle-straining workouts from trying positions we’ve seen in porn. And we loaded up on sex toys, bondage gear, and amassed a small drawer filled with nothing but different kinds of lubes.

We changed a lot of things about the way we have sex, but we didn’t completely get rid of the moves that had left both of us feeling bored and unfulfilled. I wasn’t willing to part with those — they were part of our routine precisely because they work so damn well.

Now on any given night, my husband might bind my wrists and tease me until I moan for him to fuck me.

I might push him on his back because I really want to suck cotton candy flavored lube off his cock while he thrusts his fingers inside me.

We might do some roleplay, talk dirty, and work our way up to some slow, intense anal.

But no matter what we do, we always make room for four things that give my clit the love it needs. If you really want to get your lady off, make sure you pleasure her in these ways and do it often.

Stroking Her Pussy

If you have great fingering skills, you’ll always be able to satisfy your gal.

What makes fingers so great is just how precise they can be. You can touch her as softly or as firmly as you want, you can adjust how quickly you stroke her clit, and you can stimulate her in so many different ways — especially if you use both hands at once.

And a lot of women find hands very attractive — specifically, men doing something with their hands. That makes it extra hot when you use them to get her off.

If you want to finger your lady to a satisfying climax, give yourself some time to build up to it. Start by rubbing everywhere but her clit — her outer lips, her inner labia, and if she’s wet enough you can tease her by slipping a finger inside her for a few shallow thrusts.

Once she’s really turned on, you can move to her clit. Start stroking it softly and slowly — pet her pussy instead of rubbing it.

You can gradually increase the speed and apply more pressure if she’s into it. But it’s not about going as hard and fast as you can — it’s about finding her zone.

You can touch her in all sorts of ways to stimulate her, prolong her pleasure, and build up her arousal. But when she seems like she’s on the verge of coming, keep things steady. Whatever you did to get her to that point, keep doing it. Otherwise, she might only get frustration instead of an orgasm.

Eating Her Out

Your tongue isn’t as precise as your fingers. But it more than makes up for that by being soft, warm, wet, and supple.

Oral sex just feels fucking amazing. The first time I felt a tongue on my pussy, I knew it was a sensation I didn’t want to live without.

It’s also extremely intimate. I would find it very hard not to feel emotionally connected to someone when their face is between my legs.

Eating pussy is mostly an intuitive thing. You just have to let your tongue explore her and pay attention to how she reacts. Start with a soft, flat tongue like you were licking an ice cream cone. Then, you can switch it up by making it more pointed to give her more intense stimulation.

The two moves you should know about are circling around the clit with your tongue and the Kivin method (basically, moving your tongue side to side instead of up and down). Those are really simple, but they can be incredibly effective — I always come the hardest from circular motions.

And if you want to turn up the intensity, slip two fingers in her pussy and rub her G-spot while tonguing her clit. That will send most woman over the moon.

But the most important thing isn’t your technique — it’s your enthusiasm. If you eat her out with passion, it will always turn her on and get her off.

Showing that kind of desire is always hot, so that applies to everyone. But it’s especially important if you’re going down on someone who’s self-conscious or feels selfish for receiving pleasure — doubly so if she’s a people pleaser. Making it clear that you love licking her pussy is going to give her the reassurance she needs to just lie back and enjoy all the incredible sensations you’re giving her.

Stimulating Her Clit While Fucking Her

Most women who can’t get off from penetration still love getting fucked.

But you don’t have to make her choose between fucking and coming. If you pleasure her clit while thrusting, she can come hard while feeling your cock inside her.

Combining those two kinds of stimulation feels absolutely fucking incredible. And I consider it a major turn-on because it shows my partner is taking my pleasure seriously.

Plus, it takes more skill than a standard fuck and I always find it hot when someone does something impressive for me.

The best position to pull this off is spooning while she holds her leg up (or if you hold it up for her like a true gentleman). It gives your fingers perfect access to her pussy while you’re inside her.

Missionary works, too. As long as you’re propping yourself up high enough, you can access her clit.

If you want a hands-free version, you can also try the coital alignment technique. That involves positioning yourself so the shaft of your cock rubs against her clit while you’re fucking her. It can be a bit awkward while you’re trying to get lined up just right, but you can blow her fucking mind if you nail it.

Sex toys designed for couples can also help you achieve this. My favorite is the Tryst — it sits around your cock and vibrates her clit while you fuck her. The first time I used it with my husband, it was so intense it felt like he had an extra cock.

Using Her Favorite Vibrator on Her

Sex toys make masturbation so much better. Seriously, who needs fingers when vibrators exist?

But as fun as they are to use solo, they really shine during sex. No matter how much pleasure a vibrator can give me, it always feels so much better when my partner uses it on me.

Including vibrators in your playtime also adds a lot of variety. You can do so many new and different things that you just can’t when all you’ve got are your two sexy bodies going at it.

Using a vibrator also shows her that you’re sexually secure, which is an extremely attractive quality in a guy.

She has her favorite way of using her toys, but you don’t have to use them the way she does. Be playful and try stimulating her in different ways. Explore her pussy with her toys to see how she reacts. When my husband uses vibrators on me, he usually does things with them that I never do when I’m using them on my own — and that’s part of the fun.

Tease her and warm her up by trying out the toy’s different vibration patterns. Move it around and stroke her with it to get her worked up. When you’re ready to make her come, though, keep the toy on the same setting and hold it in one spot — that consistency is going to help her get over the edge and reach her orgasm.

If she’s got a super sensitive clit, don’t mess with the buttons too much. Leave the toy on its lowest setting, don’t apply too much pressure, and give her breaks every once in a while so she doesn’t get overstimulated.

And keep in mind is that vibrators can sometimes work too well. If her toy can make her come in under a minute or two, use it to edge her. Edging will prolong her pleasure, make her incredibly horny, and give her an orgasm she’ll thank you for repeatedly.

Selfless Sex Is Hot

Sex is always better when you’re doing it with someone who fucks selflessly — someone who gives without making it seem like a chore.

I learned to do that by paying more attention to my partner’s reactions during sex and getting really turned on by the pleasure I could give him. Flooding myself until I loved giving blowjobs didn’t hurt, either.

Part of being selfless in bed is taking a playful approach to sex. It’s showing enthusiasm, talking dirty, and doing things to turn your partner on.

But a lot of it is just making sure you’re pleasuring her clit and doing it in different ways.

Her clit is one of her favorite things to play with. If you really want to impress her, make it one of yours too.

This article contains an affiliate link to the Tryst Multi Erogenous Zone Vibrator. If you click on it (or click here) and treat yourself to anything on the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work! ❤

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