How to Come Better
A guide to edging yourself or your partner
When I started edging, I had no idea what it was. I had never heard about it or done any research on it. I just wanted a way to deal with my premature orgasms.
I come quickly. It’s cool and all, but it also kept cutting sex short.
And to make matters worse, I married a delayed ejaculator. So, there I was, coming in minutes with a guy who could last hours.
The longer we were married, the more he got to know my body. The more he got to know my body, the faster I would come. He had basically figured out the Konami code for getting me off, with his fingers, his tongue, or his cock.
I was kind of a powerless fuckslave. No matter how hard I tried to zen my way to longer sex, he would get me off within a minute or two — seconds, sometimes.
It felt really good but it was way too brief. Neither of us were having as much sex as we wanted to, and when we finally got to fuck, it wouldn’t last long enough for us to feel sexually satiated.
Plus, my husband has delayed ejaculation. I may as well get something out of it.
It’s with all that frustration and desperation that I decided to edge myself to get the kind of sex I wanted.
Having a big orgasm was Game Over. But if I keep myself from coming, I would be able to go all night (but just 30 minutes would’ve been nice).
Whenever I fucked Mr. Austin, I’d wait for that moment where I’m about to come but haven’t quite reached the point of no return and stop him abruptly. I’d do it verbally or I’d pull his hand off my clit, push his head away from my pussy, and at least a few times I literally shoved him off me between thrusts.
There was a lot of trial and error. Figuring out the right moment to stop took a lot more practice than I expected.
Often, I’d end up with a ruined orgasm. I’d stop him but it was too late — I was going to come either way. Only instead of getting a full orgasm and enjoying more tongue action, I’d just feel my clit throbbing as it climaxed from its own momentum.
But when I managed to stop in time, it was so fucking intense.
I’d feel my whole body tense up, just like it does when I’m about to have an orgasm, except the orgasm doesn’t come (and neither do I).
Being edged is a hard feeling to describe. It feels weirdly good and weirdly bad at the same time. But it leaves me feeling hornier and ready for more sex, so it’s worth the weirdness.
Once I got it down, it worked really well. I multiplied the length of time I could have sex and didn’t have to feel like my premature orgasms were a curse.
Since then, I’ve found a different and altogether better solution to that problem: multiple orgasms. I still come quickly, but I taught myself to do it over and over again. It created a giant orgasm gap in my relationship (I can come over a dozen times; he’ll come once) but it’s a pretty sweet deal.
Even though I’m living the multiorgasmic life, edging still has its place. Instead of doing it to myself, Mr. Austin will do it to me. And it’s not so we can prolong things — it’s for the other benefits.
When I get edged, I get a lot hornier (just because I’m in the middle of sex doesn’t mean I’m maximally horny). When I get hornier, I have dirtier sex.
I love dirty sex, but I’m a shy person. I need help letting go of my inhibitions. I need my desire to be so strong that I stop giving a fuck what I look like, what I sound like, and what I’ll think of myself in the morning. Edging helps me get there.
It’s also a form of control play, which I really enjoy. Having my orgasm revoked at the last second and being forced to ride through the intense feelings that come with it really taps into my submissive side. It’s sexually frustrating, but in a very playful way.
When he takes his fingers or mouth off my clit, it feels like I’m being pulled out of my pleasure while also experiencing a huge surge of arousal.
My breathing gets heavier. I start whining. I grind up against him like my body is instinctively trying to get off.
I tense and tremble. I grip the sheets. The whole thing is almost unbearable. And then we start again and I have to wonder the whole time whether Mr. Austin will let me come or not this time.
When I just can’t take it anymore, he’ll get me off. And this is the real payoff of all that edging: an orgasm like no other.
The orgasms I get from edging are often the kind that make my back lift off the bed because I’m tensing and tightening my abs so much. They’re the kind that make me quake and throw my body around. And it goes on for so long that I worry I’ll never get control of my muscles back.
It’s good. Really good.
And it’s so simple to achieve. Here’s my advice for edging yourself or your partner.
Start Solo
Now, I didn’t start edging on my own. I did it with a partner, and I actually struggle quite a bit when I’m not with him.
I try to exercise willpower in my daily life, but I just have no self-control whatsoever when I’m masturbating. I’ve tried to edge myself during solo play, but when I get right to the edge I just can’t stop. My hand gets a mind of its own and refuses to stop getting me off.
I also had a bigger incentive to get it right when I was with Mr. Austin — if I missed the mark, I wouldn’t get as much sex. That was a good motivator.
But from what I’ve read, it seems that most people have an easier time doing it solo than with a partner. So, if you want to edge yourself, try it by your lonesome first. Once you’ve got it down, you can ask a partner to do it to you.
Or you could just keep doing it to yourself — there’s no shame in enjoying some really satisfying self-pleasure!
Pay Attention to Your Arousal Patterns
The trickiest thing about edging is knowing your body enough to get it just right. At least, it was for me. Figuring out that exact moment when you’re peaking but you haven’t quite reached the summit was tough.
Memorize what you feel when you’re about to come. You can put it on a scale if it helps — think of your arousal as ranging from a one to a five and learn exactly what it feels like to be at a four, to be right on the cusp.
That’s another reason to do it solo. When you’re alone, there are fewer things to pay attention to, so you can put all your focus on the way your arousal is building.
If you’re planning to edge your partner, you’ll have to pay attention to external cues. They can tell you when they’re close or when you should stop, but you should notice what their body does and how their breathing changes when they’re getting close.
Stop the Stimulation
Learning your arousal patterns is the tricky part of edging, but stopping the stimulation is the hard part. When you’re that close to coming, you have to fight your instinct to keep going and get that pleasurable release you crave. That’s why I suck so badly at edging myself.
You’ve basically got two options here. You can stop touching yourself completely when you reach the moment of truth. Just take your hands off your junk and clench your fists tightly so you can resist the urge to keep going. For guys, you can gently stroke the bottom of your shaft or play with your balls.
When I’m being edged my Mr. Austin, I like some kind of physical touch. He might clasp his hand over my pussy, stroke my arm, or kiss my thighs while I writhe.
Start Over
Being edged can feel intense, but you’ll probably be surprised at how quickly you’re ready to go again. Not actually having an orgasm means you won’t have a refractory period, so you’ll be good to keep going as soon as you feel ready. It’s different every time, but I’d say it takes me about thirty seconds to recover and start the fun stuff all over.
Go All the Way
When you’re ready (or you’ve just had enough), let yourself come and enjoy what is hopefully a very powerful orgasm.
Edging is a simple way to last longer and come harder. All you need to do is learn to stop the action when you least want it to. It feels really counter intuitive at first, but it can be worth it when you get it right.
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