5 Things Everyone Should Know About Lube

Because spit and courage aren’t always enough

If there’s no lube in your nightstand, you’re not living.

For as long as I can remember, I knew lube was a thing. But it was a thing other people used.

I was just too overwhelmed by all the choices. There were so many different types and brands that I had no idea where to start.

So, I didn’t.

I figured if spit got me through anal, it should be good enough for everything else.

But then I turned 20 and sex got painful. No matter how much foreplay I had, no matter how slowly we went, penetration hurt.

So, I decided to give this whole lube thing a try. I was still overwhelmed by all the options, but I pulled my big girl panties up and started doing a little research. Because if I didn’t figure this out, I might never have a good reason to pull my big girl panties down.

I learned that some types of lube shouldn’t be used with some sex toys. Some shouldn’t be used with condoms. Some shouldn’t be used during penetrative sex.

This was exactly the kind of complicated nonsense I had tried to avoid.

In the end, I told myself to remember exactly one thing: water-based lube is universal. It’s fine for whatever you’re doing.

So, I bought some, applied a generous amount of it while I was fooling around with Mr. Austin, and… sex still hurt.

I later found out I had vaginismus. That meant my muscles (you know the ones I mean) contracted unintentionally during penetration. It was like the worst kind of kegels you could imagine, and no amount of lube was going to make that a fun experience.

But at least now I had the lube. When I overcame vaginismus, I got to play with it and discover how much more enjoyable sex is with lube.

I never went back. From that point on, I was a lube person.

When I looked into it again, I realized I was intimidated for nothing. Lube is really quite simple and if I had learned the basics I would’ve been having better sex (until my pussy started betraying me, anyway).

So, here are the five things I should’ve learned a long time ago. Knowing them will help you get the most out of your lube.

1. Know Your Three Basic Types

There are three basic types of lube: water-based, silicone-based, and oil-based. Each of them have different uses.

Water-Based Lube

Water-based lube can be used for anything at all. It’s safe for use with every type of sex toy, with condoms, for penetrative sex — you name it. If you’re touching yourself, putting something in yourself, or putting part of yourself into something, you can use it.

But it has some drawbacks. It can get kind of sticky, absorbs too quickly, and it isn’t super effective to begin with. When I use it for handjobs, I have to reapply it so often that I feel like I spend more time squeezing lube on the cock than actually stroking it.

And if you’re going to have some fun in the tub, water-based lube is going to be useless. It washes away when it comes into contact with water. So does your natural lubrication, by the way, so unless you have an alternative, you’ll find out the hard way that sex in water can be surprisingly dry.

Silicone-Based Lube

Silicone-based lubes are the best. They’re the slickest and the smoothest. It’s my favorite for everything from sensual massages to anal sex.

There’s only one downside, and it’s a big one. Silicone lube can’t be used with silicone sex toys because it degrades the material.

Whenever I’ve accidentally let some silicone lube come into contact with my silicone toys, they end up feeling tackier to the touch. And it will eventually wear it down if it happens too often.

Oil-Based Lubes

Oil-based lubes tend to be thicker and last longer than water-based or silicone-based lubes. A lot of people swear by it for anal sex and dick stroking (solo or otherwise).

The problem with oil-based lube is that it can’t be used with condoms. They can wear through the material and cause tearing, which defeats the whole purpose of using protection in the first place.

And here’s a brief PSA: don’t put coconut oil in your pussy.

I know it’s a popular lube alternative for a lot of women, but oil-based lube just doesn’t belong there because it’s a carrier for bacteria. I love lube as much as the next gal, but it’s not worth risking an infection.

2. Hybrid Lube Is a Thing

I’m spoiled. I’ve tasted the pleasures of silicone-based lube and I don’t want to go back. I ran out of Uberlube once and I vowed to never let it happen again.

When I use silicone toys and have to switch to water-based lube, I always miss the extra slipperiness.

The day I learned that hybrid lube is a thing, it’s like the sky parted and a little ray of sunshine beamed down on me.

Hybrid lube is basically water-based lube with some silicone mixed into it. Not enough to damage your sex toys, but enough to make it slicker.

It’s not quite as fun as plain old silicone lube, but it’s a great alternative.

3. Flavored Lube Isn’t Just for Novelty

I used to think flavored lube was a novelty product. You get to give a blowjob that tastes like strawberries (or, more often than not, like some weird artificial strawberry syrup) and that’s about it.

But there’s more to it than that. It makes giving a blowjob easier, especially if you’re trying to fit a girthier cock in there. And I can personally attest to the fact that having your pussy lubed while you get eaten out is a top notch feeling.

And I think we can all admit that precome isn’t the tastiest thing you can have in your mouth. Flavored lube can help with that.

4. Lube Is for Masturbation, Too

I can’t believe I spent most of my lube years masturbating without it. I was completely missing out.

Obviously, it helps if you’re going to use a dildo or finger-fuck yourself. But it also feels amazing on your clit. I always slick up my fingers before rubbing one out now.

Masturbating without lube is kind of like getting a backrub without massage oil. It’s nice, but it could be even better.

5. Brands Make a Difference

Writing about sex means I have an excuse to experiment with a lot of different products, including lube.

What I’ve discovered is that not all lubes are the same and the brand you choose makes a noticeable difference. They have different consistencies. Some absorb more quickly than others. Some will feel smoother. And some flavored lubes are much tastier than others.

If you’re new to lube and you’re not sure where to start, or you just want to try something new, here are my personal favorites.

Water-based: Since discovering hybrid lube, I haven’t used water-based lube as often. But when I do (like when I use a stroker on my husband), I tend to use Sliquid H2O or Sliquid Sassy when I want something thicker and longer lasting.

Silicone-based: Uberlube is my favorite silicone-based lube. Actually, it’s my favorite lube — period. I’ve tried other good ones (like Sliquid Silver) but none are quite as slick or long-lasting.

Oil-based: I haven’t found a commercial oil-based lube that impressed me. But sweet almond oil works well for giving handjobs.

Hybrid: If you use silicone sex toys, do yourself a favor and buy some hybrid lube. I’m most of the way through my bottle of Sliquid Silk and it is definitely going to be a re-buy.

Flavored: Flavored lube is honestly kind of hit or miss. Some of the flavors taste really artificial in an unpleasant way. But there are a few brands that do a good job. My favorite is the Jo Gelato Mint Chocolate lube. It’s so good I use it during most blowjobs and I keep it in reach when I’m recording a podcast (in case my mouth gets dry).

Treat Yourself

Choosing the right partner isn’t always simple (watch out for those fuckbois). Choosing the right sex toy can be tricky (I still can’t enjoy those clit-sucking toys everyone keeps raving about). But at least using lube is an easy choice. You should be using it almost as often as you have sex (with yourself or with someone else).

So, get yourself some lube. Get different kinds of lube. Get so much fucking lube you’re not even sure you’ll ever get through it all.

And then get through it all.

You’ll wonder how you ever lived without it.

This article contains affiliate links for different lubes I’ve personally tried and love. If you click on one (or click here) and make a purchase, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work (and having tastier, wetter, and better sex)! ❤

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