How to Play With Strokers as a Couple

They’re not just for his pleasure

Strokers are cool as hell and I don’t understand why they’re not more popular.

There’s so much to love about them. They’re soft and squishy. Some of them look surprisingly realistic. From the moment I saw one, I knew they’d be really fun to use.

I love sticking my fingers inside them and feeling all the different stimulating textures. If I had a dick, I’m sure I would fill my nightstand drawer with different strokers I could fuck.

So, it genuinely surprised me when my husband said he wasn’t interested in trying them.

I knew he had never owned one, but I figured it had more to do with being frugal than being completely uninterested.

It turns out the real reason was that sex toys made him feel insecure.

Not mine. He was fine with my vibrators. He never seemed to feel the need to compete with them and he was always happy to incorporate them when we had sex.

But the thought of using a pocket pussy really put him off.

He associated that kind of thing with guys who couldn’t get laid or weirdos jerking off in poorly lit basements. And he was sure I’d feel the same way. In some dark corner of his mind, he had this idea that I would lose respect for him if he fucked an artificial pussy.

He couldn’t have been more wrong.

I encouraged him to use one because I was sure he’d love to pump his dick into something soft and wet instead of just jerking it with his hand. Plus, I have a much lower sex drive than he does and owning a fuckable toy would take some of the pressure off me.

That wasn’t enough to convince him. He only started changing his mind when I made it clear that I didn’t just want him to use a stroker — I wanted to watch him do it.

That excited his exhibitionist side. But it also made it clear that I wouldn’t be weirded out by him fucking a pocket pussy — I’d genuinely be turned on by it.

He agreed to try one, but on one condition — we had to use it together.

So, we went online and shopped for his very first sex toy.

We settled on a Tenga Egg. They looked fun, compact, and soft. More importantly, they were disposable and affordable. If he still felt weird about sticking his dick in a sex toy after using this one, at least it would have cost less than ten dollars to find out.

But when I took the Egg out of its plastic casing, poured lube into it, and stroked it over his stiff cock, it didn’t feel weird to him at all. Unusual maybe, though not in a bad way.

Using it on him was a really great experience. Hearing him groan from the pleasure was hot. And watching him come inside his new toy was even more arousing.

He was an immediate convert. He managed to get a few more spins out of the Tenga Egg, but I soon upgraded him. When Christmas came around, I gifted him a Fleshlight.

The Egg was fun, but the Fleshlight was extremely stimulating. So much so that he’s used almost every day since.

The Christmas after that, I bought him a Vulcan Ass Stroker and a Tenga Deep Throat Masturbation Cup. That way, he can have a toy for whatever kind of sex he’s fantasizing about.

On top of that, he’s now my guinea pig for any sex toy review that involves a cock.

So, in the span of two short years, he’s gone from never having tried a sex toy to owning several. Now, he can get himself off luxuriously, but it also opened up new ways for us to play together.

Strokers might be designed for solo play, but like any good sex toy they’re even better when you use them as a couple. Here are a few ways to do that.

Enhanced Handjobs

My husband has a very strong appreciation for handjobs. That’s another reason I was surprised by his reluctance to use a stroker.

After playing around with different kinds of lube and trying a fancy technique or two, the only way to make a handjob better is to start using toys.

Every stroker has a different internal texture, so you can really play around with sensations and different kinds of stimulation.

There are soft bumps and ridges that will stimulate the head of his cock. There are some that apply suction to make your handjob feel more like a deep blowjob. Some sleeves will also let you apply a bit of pressure with your hand, so you can intensify his pleasure by tightening your grip.

This is how we play with every new stroker we get. As soon as we take it out of its packaging, I’ll get him hard, lube him up, and jerk him off with the toy.

Obviously, it feels amazing for him. But it’s also really cool for me. The Tenga Egg was a really interesting tactile experience. Instead of the usual skin-to-cock contact, it felt like I was playing with a squishy toy.

Using a Fleshlight on him was very different. Not just because he clearly enjoyed it more, but because it comes in a plastic casing. That’s less interesting as a sensory experience, but it does make it comfortable to hold.

Threesome Roleplay

I decided to buy Mr. Austin a Fleshlight for a few reasons.

I wanted to give him a quality, reputable sex toy that could hopefully overcome his death grip. I was also curious to see if the canister it comes in would make it easier for me to use on him.

But one of the biggest reasons is that it really looks like a vulva.

There was just something about watching his cock slide in and out of a wet pussy that really appealed to me.

We’ve had group sex a few times before, but never any that involved him touching, fucking, or pleasuring anyone else. That’s a bit unfortunate, because I bet it would be really hot to watch him in action. I love the way he fucks, and getting to be a spectator to it would be incredibly arousing.

When he fucks an artificial pussy, I get to imagine that’s exactly what I’m witnessing. It helps me get lost in those threesome fantasies without any of the twinges of jealousy or insecurity that might come from actually seeing him make another girl come.

Threesome fantasies are incredibly common, but it’s not always easy to make one happen. You and your partner have to both actually want one, you have to find the right person to fuck together, and the stars have to align so all three of you are horny and eager at the same time.

Roleplaying groupsex is a lot easier, especially if you have the right sex toys.

A torso doll would work really well for this. A sex toy mount that he could fuck missionary or doggystyle would make it easier, too. But you can pull this off with any stroker.

Use it on him while you’re riding his face so he can fantasize about pleasuring two women at once. Have him fuck it for you so you can imagine what it would be like to watch him fuck someone else. Throw in some dirty talk to make it even more authentic — ask him how it feels to fuck her or tell him you’ve always wanted to watch him plow into someone else.

Enjoy Some Amazing Mutual Masturbation

I worried that masturbating with my husband would be awkward, especially before I had shown him how I really jill off. But it wasn’t. It was incredibly fun, intimate, and satisfying.

It became the perfect way to do something sexual together when I’m not really up to having sex. Sometimes, we’ll be in the mood to fuck but do it anyway just to switch things up.

We used to do it a little differently than we do now.

We’d pick a porn scene and let it play on the laptop while we touched ourselves side by side. But when things really got going, I would grab a vibrator and give myself a few really good orgasms. My husband stuck to his hand and some long-lasting lube.

Since he started using strokers, though, we’ve both been finishing in the same way. He’ll grab a sex toy around the same time I do and he’ll enjoy the enhanced pleasure.

I can tell it’s better for him. He seems a touch more eager about the whole thing and he seems to moan and groan more enthusiastically than he did before.

That makes it so much better for me, too. I can come even harder when I hear him getting off.

And yeah, there’s porn playing when we masturbate together. But it’s hard not to take my eyes off the screen to peek at what my husband is doing on his side of the bed. Watching his cock pump into a soft, wet sleeve is some very good visual stimulation.

If you’re going to enjoy some mutual masturbation (and you really should), go all out. Get some porn you both love, have lots of lube in your reach, and use your favorite sex toys — his included.

Give Your Pussy a Break

One of my podcast listeners recently told me about using a stroker with her husband for the first time.

She surprised him with a Fleshlight and used it to stroke him off. But she didn’t stop there. She also held it between her thighs so he could fuck it just like he would fuck her.

Her husband is a delayed ejaculator — so is mine. And fucking a delayed ejaculator means you need to tap out long before they’re done because your handjob arm gets tired, your jaw gets sore, or your pussy gets sore and overstimulated.

I’ve never tried her thigh trick, but it sounds like the perfect solution for this.

Holding a stroker between your thighs means he can get a head start that feels like the real deal. When he’s ready, he can take his cock out of the toy and start thrusting into your pussy so you can both come.

Or he can fuck you until you’re spent and then fuck the sleeve between your thighs until he finishes. Sure, he could just pull out and jerk off until he spunks, but this way he gets an experience that feels a lot more like coming inside you. And that’s something he’s bound to appreciate.

Sex Toys Aren’t Just for Masturbation

By now, most people have warmed up to the idea that vibrators, dildos, and buttplugs aren’t just for solo play. They’re fun to use on your own, but they’re even more exciting when your partner gets involved.

But for the most part, people still treat strokers like they’re only for masturbating.

That’s not a terrible thing. They seem to do the job really well and my husband tells me that he almost never jerks off without one.

If you never use them as a couple, though, you’re missing out on their full potential.

If your guy owns a stroker, use it on him or ask to watch him jerk off with it. It’s a great way to spice things up, show him that you take his pleasure seriously, and get a very hot visual experience.

When you start using it together, you’ll love his pocket pussy almost as much as he does.

This post contains affiliate links to all sorts of fun strokers. If you click on one (or click here) and make a purchase, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work! ❤

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