My Transgender Movie Crushes
Women I Love and Women I’d Love to Be
As someone who is transgender, my crushes were more complicated than most. I have crushes on women because I like women and I have crushes on women because I wanted to be them.
Complicated huh?
As a repressed MTF transgender female, I have always loved ROMCOMs (romantic comedies). So here’s my top eight list in no order in that particular category:
I think my number one crush for both categories would be Ramona Flowers (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) in Scott Pilgrim vs. The World (2010). I loved clothes, I loved her eyes, I loved how cool she was and she appealed to my lesbian nature. She was the total package for me.
Audrey Hepburn in Charade (1963). She had a natural sophistication, a charming wit and a simple beauty.
Keira Knightley particularly in Begin Again (2013). Maybe because it was shot in Manhattan and Brooklyn, but her laugh and her style really appealed to me.
Julia Stiles and Heath Ledger in 10 Things I Hate About You (1999). This is one of the few times I will admit that I had a crush on a guy and a girl.
Kate Beckinsale in Serendipity (2001). The way she crinkles her nose gets me every time.
Emma Stone in Easy A (2010). Putting aside that I love her first name, she also appeals to my tough girl image with a snappy attitude.
Amy Addams in Leap Year (2010). Ok add Matthew Goode to the crush list as well if I am going to be totally honest.
My most recent Covid crush is Sarah Gadon in A Royal Night Out(2015). Her eyes melt me every time.
OK that’s the top list for me. It’s a brief list and I am sure you all could add to it. Crushes are fun but are almost as dangerous admitting to friends being transgender.
By the way, shhhhhhhh, keep both of my secrets under your hat ok?
Warmly,
Emma Holiday
Thank you for reading my work.
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Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.
My writing has three specific goals:
1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.
2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.
3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, My Queer Movie Crush, Then and Now.