Common Sense, Transgender Style: I Exist, Get Over It.

I Am Who I Am. Get Used to It.

The other day I read an interesting article by Conor Matthews entitled, “Why ‘Define Woman’ Is A Trap.” I think it is well worth a read. Conor takes on a topic we trans people regularly confront when we get challenged by our own internal thoughts or we get drawn into debate by binary-orthodoxy defenders, or by people who are simply confused.

Like so many transgender people, I have been sucked into the “define woman” argument too many times.

Conor provides us with so many examples of women who don’t meet rigid “woman” definitions based on XX chromosomes or female reproductive organs, but who are seen as women and who aren’t attacked for their sense of gender or their choice of bathroom.

To me, the key argument here isn’t whether transgender people exist as a matter of scientific fact. It is the aggressive ignorance used to attack our transgender reality. Cis women exist. No one challenges that, but transgender people exist as well and people who are militantly binary try to manipulate words and misuse concepts to attack our reality.

They don’t want to accept that we exist.

They refuse.

Normally I wouldn’t care what militantly ignorant and bigoted people say. We shouldn’t have to prove our existence, but state legislatures are being convinced we are child molesters and condemning our very existence. They are practicing medicine without a license by preventing valid medical care for transgender children. They are even deputizing ignorant bigots to have professionals and parents investigated for child abuse.

I know I am preaching to the choir here.

Sadly, pretty much everyone who is reading this article already believes transgender people exist. The challenge is how to get the word out. I guess we just keep trying and never give up.

We must never surrender our existence.

Emma Holiday

Thank you for reading my work.

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Writers note: If you have read any of my writings on Medium you will have noticed a definite theme: the incredible pain of gender dysphoria and all the difficult aspects of just being transgender.

My writing has three specific goals:

1. Writing is my therapy. I have a very limited outlet for my thoughts so I write to find a way to process the most profound experience in my life. I need to understand and I need to accept myself to move forward.

2. Being transgender, for me, is a very lonely existence and if I can share some of the things that I feel and think as I go through the process of transitioning with others who are transgender and, in some way, lessen their pain and sense of loneliness, then all of this public exposure of my personal thoughts is not a waste.

3. I write to help cisgender people understand that all trans people want is to be simply understood, accepted and treated as a normal person. We are.