My Bisexual Asexual TV & Movie Crushes
Since I don’t experience sexual attraction, my crushes are based on other things
I recently wrote about the movies that made me bisexual, where I talked about some of the crushes I’ve had on fictional characters, but since James Finn has since challenged us to write about our queer movie crushes, then and now, I thought I could write about some of the other crushes I’ve had on fictional characters.
I’m asexual and bisexual, so sometimes it’s very hard for me to pin down what exactly is a crush for me. Since I don’t experience sexual attraction, my crushes are based on other things like romantic attraction and aesthetic attraction.
In previous articles, I talked about Jareth the Goblin King and Sarah in Labyrinth, Éowyn, Legolas, and Samwise in The Lord of the Rings, Jack and Rose in Titanic, Westley and Buttercup in The Princess Bride, and Neo and Trinity in The Matrix. I don’t want to rehash things, so I will talk about others here.
The first one that comes to mind is Barry Allen as portrayed by Grant Gustin on The Flash on CW. He’s just such a good and kind person, and he’s really cute too. There is something androgynous about him, isn’t there?
Looking back a little further, though I didn’t realize it at that time, I definitely had a crush on Willow Rosenberg on Buffy the Vampire Slayer. At the time, I thought I simply identified with her as a fellow geeky redhead. Now though, I’m pretty sure it was more than that. Then, when she appeared on the show, Tara Maclay stole my heart as well. When they got together as a couple, I was ecstatic. When Tara died, I cried.
I’m a little embarrassed to admit it, not least because he’s gay, so this one is hopeless, but I had a thing for Blaine Anderson on Glee. Darren Criss is just so adorable I couldn’t help it. And, gosh, his singing. Wow.
Geordi La Forge on Star Trek: The Next Generation stole my heart. His friendship with the android Data was my favourite part of the series. The way Geordi interacted with people, especially with Data, truly touched my heart. I loved Data too, but it was Geordi’s kindness that really got to me.
Magnus Bane (for obvious reasons) and Isabelle Lightwood in Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments. Magnus is openly bisexual, flamboyantly beautiful, and so kind. If you’ve noticed, I have a thing for kind men. Also, he’s rather gender nonconforming, and I really like that. Isabelle is one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen in my life, and the things she can do with her whip while wearing spike heels? I won’t admit to swooning, but: wow.
Peggy Carter and Carol Danvers (Captain Marvel) in the MCU. Peggy’s show Agent Carter was the best thing on TV, until it was cancelled (sob). Every time I see Carol, my heart feels fit to burst. I love how both of them are so strong and so gentle. I thrill at watching them beat up the bad guys.
Caine Wise and Jupiter Jones in Jupiter Ascending. I mean, a man with wings? Yes, please. A gorgeous girl who discovers she is a princess and goes on to wear the most stunning dress I’ve ever seen in my life? I couldn’t take my eyes off them.
Dutch and Johnny Jaqobis in Killjoys. Dutch is another example of a woman who could kick my ass, which seems to be my type, at least sometimes. Johnny is just such a sweet person and the sibling-like love between the two of them warms my heart. And then, to see them kick some ass is just perfection.
Brainiac-5 in Supergirl. Brainy is, you guessed it, kind and good. And, he’s a bit androgynous. I have a thing for androgyny if you haven’t noticed.
Sometimes, I watch a movie or TV series and, while I love the characters, none of them really stand out to me. Sometimes, a character just leaps out of the screen and into my heart. Sometimes, it is only years later that I realize I had a thing for a character.
I am getting better at noticing and recognizing when I have a crush. Learning about myself helps a lot. When I was growing up, it would never have crossed my mind that I could have a crush on a woman. Today, I can allow myself the freedom to like anyone.
Esther learned to read when she was four years old, and began writing shortly thereafter. She is a queer Christian poet, crafting with words to create art and music.
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This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, My Queer Movie Crush, Then and Now.