Can You be Bisexual and Asexual at the Same Time?

Summary

The article discusses the validity and complexity of identifying as both bisexual and asexual simultaneously.

Abstract

The author of the article identifies as both asexual and bisexual, explaining that while they experience no sexual attraction, they are attracted to people of multiple genders in other ways, such as romantic, aesthetic, sensual, emotional, and intellectual attraction. The article challenges the notion that bisexuality is solely about sexual attraction and argues for a broader understanding of both bisexuality and asexuality, highlighting that these identities are not mutually exclusive. It also addresses common misconceptions about asexuality, emphasizing that it is a spectrum that includes demisexuals and greysexuals, and that asexual individuals can have varying relationships with sex, not necessarily being sex-repulsed or celibate.

Opinions

The author asserts that bisexuality should not be defined solely by sexual attraction, as this excludes asexual individuals who experience other forms of attraction.
The article criticizes the oversimplification of sexual identities, noting that people often try to categorize others into rigid boxes that do not reflect the complexity of human attraction.
The author points out that asexuality is often misunderstood, with many people falsely assuming that all asexuals are sex-repulsed and never engage in sexual activities.
The author emphasizes that asexuality is a spectrum, encompassing a range of experiences and preferences, including those of demisexuals and greysexuals.
The article advocates for the acceptance of nuanced identities, such as being both asexual and bisexual, and discourages others from imposing labels on individuals.

And why does it matter?

Image of ace & bi flags | created by author

Heterosexuality is attraction to a gender not your own. Homosexuality is attraction to your own gender. The word “sexual” is not included in those definitions. So why would bisexuality be defined as sexual attraction to two or more genders? Why include the word “sexual” in that one? Why am I told that I cannot be both bisexual and asexual at the same time?

I have been attracted to women, to men, and to people who didn’t fit either mold. It is not sexual attraction, but there are other types of attraction. There is romantic attraction, aesthetic attraction, sensual attraction, emotional attraction, and intellectual attraction, to name a few.

I have been told that, since asexuals “do not experience sexual attraction”, that means that an asexual cannot be bisexual, but only biromantic (romantically attracted to more than one gender). On the surface, this sounds correct, but it defines bisexuality as specifically and only sexual attraction. It also leaves out demisexuals, who experience sexual attraction only after they have formed a bond with someone, and greysexuals (or greyasexuals), who only experience sexual attraction very rarely or very weakly or in very specific circumstances. Both demi and grey-A are on the asexual spectrum.

I am certain there are people who identify as asexual lesbian or asexual gay. That is valid too.

I think a big part of the problem is misunderstanding of what exactly is asexuality. So many people seem to think that all asexuals are sex-repulsed and never have sex. This is simply not true. Like most things, asexuality is a spectrum.

Our identities are more complicated than the little boxes some people want to fit us into.

I am asexual, and, yes, I am biromantic, but I am also bisexual. Please don’t tell me how to label myself.

Can You be Bisexual and Asexual at the Same Time?

And why does it matter?

Asexuality Is Not Celibacy

I’m asexual and I am not celibate