TRANSGENDER

My Name’s Blurryface and I (Don’t) Care What (Anyone) Think(s)

13 months since I started T

In this edition (click for quick links)

The thirteenth month in review T-Week Posts Other notable articles Are you my peeps?

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The thirteen month in review

I still haven’t really consolidated the fact that I’ve been on T for 12 months, let alone 13. But this month has been pretty damn hectic. With uni finishing up including an exam, starting a sit which has turned out to be the one that is trying very hard to break me, losing my main form of income (because uni finished), having to take a daily antihistamine for allergies, and all the little things, it’s no wonder I’ve dissociated to the point of that last month disappearing in a hazy 100-year blink.

On the up though, I passed the exam. In fact, somehow, I was on the cusp of the top 25%. Since I didn’t do most of the work, not too shabby! Lol. Guess I guessed like a champ. Or maybe those characters in my head fed me the intuitive answers, haha. I only half jest… So, uni is DONE! FINISHED! One less stress. Just in time!

T makes all the above easy to deal with. I know that. I feel that. But, it still has its problems. Like, making my body do things I don’t want and NOT stopping it from doing other things I don’t want. Fact is, I’m not any gender and so, any perceived binary physicality is invoking dysphoria. The not having the thing gives me euphoria. It would be ideal to be in the middle with none of the things. None of the ‘female’ things, and none of the ‘male’ things. Instead, I’m in the middle with ALL of the things. It’s frustrating. And I feel like it’s a very uniquely non-binary agender problem (I could be wrong). It might be time to accept that label and claim another flag!

I’m so SO far from giving a crap about external perceptions at the moment because my own internal perceptions are doing my nut! Lol.

Here’s an overview of the changes I noticed this month on T based on a list of possible changes (FOLX Health, 2020). Areas with noticeable changes are bolded and I’ve included links to other articles if/where applicable.

• Deepened voice — voice has been cracking and sore again this month (Ah, a binary change I DO like and want that is slow and sitting in the middle, lol)
• Changes to monthly periods/regular bleeding — argh! Just when I thought that shit was gone for good, it comes back like the fucking Shining. I’ve discovered nothing else in this world makes me quite as angry as… that.
• Facial and body hair growth — hair growth seems to have upped the ante this month. It’s getting too much now to just leave for more than a few days. Seriously, not… happy…. Jan… (Aussies will get the reference, lol).
• Increased muscle mass/strength
• Body fat redistribution from hips and thighs
• Clitoris growth/bottom growth
• Increased skin oiliness or acne — getting a little here and there on my face where hair is coming through. If T didn’t giving make me feel better about existing in general, I’d freakin’ hate it!
• Baldness or hair thinning
• Increased libido
• Coarser skin
• Increased sweating
• Increased appetite
• Weight gain/fluid retention
• Chest tissue atrophy
• Weakening of tendons
• Thickening of facial bone structure

T-week posts (weeks 53–56)

Notable articles I posted this month:

Are you my peeps?

If you are on T, are considering going on T, waiting to start T, been on T for years, trans-masc with no intention of going on T, trans at all in any of our many forms, non-binary, a trans ally, or someone with an interest in trans education, please, stick around. I’m sharing this journey because there is not enough representation. When I started questioning gender, it was a struggle to find the information I needed and I want to help, someone.

Are you new here?

If you’ve only just found me, welcome to my journey as a trans-masc non-binary person. I’ve been writing about my journey since I started questioning my gender. It all started here:

On October 2nd, 2021, I began hormone replacement therapy! I’ve been keeping a daily journal in which I reflect on my changes and experiences. I post weekly and monthly updates. You can read everything here:

You can read more about me and access a quick link catalog to all of my articles right here:

Reference:

FOLX Health, 2020, Expected Physical Changes with Testosterone HRT, Nov 12, viewed Nov 2 2021, https://www.folxhealth.com/library/testosterone-hrt-physical-changes