LGBTQAI+
Sitting, and Queers, and Pets! Oh My!
How I became the Queer Sitter and thank our savior, Lady Gaga, that I’m in Australia
A different perspective
Right now, I don’t have a pet (personally), but my life is constantly influenced by them. So when I saw the writing prompt from Prism & Pen (see below) asking, “LGBTQ+ Community Pet Owners, How Are Your Pets a Comfort to You During the World’s Backpedaling Toward Us?”, there was no way I couldn’t respond.
I knew that my response would be kind of different from most as I come with different insights. You see, I’m a full-time pet sitter! I live in other people’s houses and look after their pets while they go on holiday. Somehow, over the past more than four years of sitting, I’ve gone from the ‘Writer on the Road,’ to the ‘Queer Sitter’. Oh, and I’m in Australia, so there’s that too!
More pets, please!
I love animals. I always have. I grew up surrounded by dogs, cats, and farm animals. I felt a deeper love and connection with the dogs than the people and that never changed. I would play with the doggos, run around the yard with them, sit with them, pat them. It was purity amid a household of judgment, blame, shame, and anger. It was an escape to something more simple and authentic. I’ve had one baby of my own, Dot. Just one. Because maybe I haven’t been ready to go through that again — the pain OR the love. But a few years ago, the universe made some noise! I’ll share the story in the coming weeks on a pet-sitting publication I have in the works:
But for now, suffice to say that I became a full-time petsitter and it’s been amazing.
Pets of Australia, let’s play!
The image I’ve included is probably only half of the pets that I’ve actually looked after. I’ve sat doggos, kittikins, chookens, paddock pups (horses), birdie num-nums, fluffy puppies (sheep), fishies, guinea piggles, bouncy kitties (rabbits, because bouncy puppies are kangaroos), and even a couple of snakes (which I’ve just decided I shall call spaghetti kitties, for now).
What I love is that not a single one of these animals has ever given a flying caramel frappe if I am conforming to societal expectations or not. Not one of them cares what my damn gender is. Their needs are pretty simple — food, water, safety, love. And let’s face it, only a few of them care about the love and for kittikins, it’s only on their terms. Kind of like, tiny humans, don’t you think? Children aren’t inherently bigoted and their needs are pretty simple.
…no animal has ever given a flying caramel frappe if I am conforming to societal expectations or not.
I have met asshole animals, just like I’ve met asshole kids. But without fail, they have been taught to be assholes, by asshole parents/owners. Just saying. When a homeowner ‘interviews’ me, I’m interviewing them too because they are inexplicitly telling what their pet is really like as they reveal themselves. And it goes the other way too. I’ll try to meet the pets if it’s possible because they’ll tell me very quickly if the homeowner is someone I want to deal with. I don’t always nail it, but it’s a close thing.
How I became the queer sitter
It started with two guys (that sounds like a logline). Another homeowner referred me to the boys to sit their gorgeous kittikens. I was only 80% sure they were a couple until I arrived at their house and saw the delicious array of pride. I was stoked, because my egg had barely cracked and I had started questioning my gender which also led to questioning my sexuality label. I’ve sat for the boys several times now. They’re amazing guys and we share cat memes, because why not?
Oh yes, stereotypes. In his prompt, James Finn wrote:
I’ve head a lot of stereotypes about queer folks and pets. You probably know the one about lesbians owning cats, or gay men preferring fancy pedigreed canines like boxers and bulldogs. Or about us old gay “cat ladies.”
In my experience, the stereotypes are sometimes accurate, but not always. But isn’t that just like the stereotypes about the community in general? Isn’t that like, any stereotype at all? Though the one about lesbians having a lot of plants has held strong, haha.
After I sat for the boys, I publicly announced my rainbow membership by adding “LGBTQ+ friendly sitter (they/them)” to my profile. I always ensure every homeowner I consider sitting for reads my profile. If they don’t like it, cool, saves us both a lot of hassle. But if they themselves are queer, they know instantly that I’m safe and that’s why about 50% of my sits now are for queer homeowners. I’m the only sitter I know of who has said, ‘Hey, I’m a queer sitter,’ and so I’ve made myself the only choice. Remember how I said animals reflect their owners? I don’t think it’s just a coincidence that I haven’t had a single ‘problematic’ animal with any of these sits. Take from that whatever you want.
I publicly announced my rainbow membership by adding “LGBTQ+ friendly sitter (they/them)” to my profile
Stop digressing and answer the question!
Oh, yeah. Right.
How Are Your Pets a Comfort to You During the World’s Backpedaling Toward Us
This is why I made a point of saying I’m from Australia. From where I sit, I don’t feel the world backpedaling toward us, as queer folx. I sure as hell DO see America completely losing its mind and disintegrating into a dictatorship. It’s a War on Logic, Reason, and Sense and the rainbow community is the shield that no one even sees. Because if they get through us, no one is safe. We are the only barrier of protection and what do you do first in war? Take out the defenses. But, although I don’t personally feel the whole world backpedaling, just the states, that doesn’t mean I’m not fully aware of the potential impact. Too many stupid people in my country will listen to the stupid people in that country — because that’s what stupid people do. They don’t research or form their own opinion, they let others tell them how they should feel and think.
It’s a War on Logic, Reason, and Sense and the rainbow community is the shield that no one even sees.
So, pets? Well, it all comes back to what I said before — animals don’t care. Unconditional love, right there. They don’t care about politics. They don’t care about the stupid people. When it seems like a country (or the world) is falling off the balance beam of sensibility and wants to erase our existence, a pet will still love me for no reason other than, because I exist.
But, I’m in Australia. I’m lucky. I see. I hear. I listen. I research. But I don’t KNOW what it is like for many of you. I can’t, because I am not living in your experience. And so, I humbly acknowledge that though I don’t feel the world back peddling, that doesn’t mean anything more than that I’m extremely lucky (and deeply grateful) to be very safe. I hope it stays that way, and I hope you will be safe too. I acknowledge my privilege and my ignorance!
What I’ve learned from my fur buddies
The biggest thing I’ve learned is that, in general, people suck and I prefer animals. Now, that’s a huge generalization! Some of my favorite meat sacks ARE people. Still, we should be more like animals — without judgment, bigotry, queerphobia, etc. Remember though, our pets reflect us, so if your pet is beautiful, loving, and welcoming, good job you! You are the kind of person I want to know (the un-sucky type). If your pet is an asshole… Well. Ouch? Not even sorry though.
This story is a response to the Prism & Pen writing prompt, Queer Family Pets: Comfort During Calamity?