TRANSGENDER
Confirming Butt Plug IS Two Words — Unless you Want a Buttplug
Reflecting on my transition journey this week
WEEK 56 CHECK-IN:
Trans Life Past: My main aim is to survive without losing my mind. That’s it. That’s where I’m at.
- I survived. Did I lose my mind? Hmmm… that’s assuming I had it in the first place.
- Thanks to a very appreciated mercy dash by Kristy Westaway, I got myself on an antihistamine which has helped physically and mentally. Did you know dander allergy can cause irritability? Does it what?! Lol.
Priorities: 1. Editing Sugar Twink
- On to it. Finished the audio check and now, after I finish this post, I’m onto the full
2. Blogs for job
- Did the thing. 7 blog posts completed.
3. QT Superhero posts
- Did the thing! 3 for 3 this week. Nice. Maybe the frustration of the overly needing dogs has been good for forcing me to distract myself WITH work, haha.
- I published “What Came First? The Spiderman or the Gay,” on Prism & Pen.
Other Notes:
- I’ve gone Captain Clean mode to try to eliminate some of the long-term build-ups of dander that has been setting off my allergies with asthma and hives. Doing what I need to.
- In transition news, I’m definitely going to have to start doing something about body hair soon god damn it!
T-Day and Beyond Daily Journal:
Day 387 (Sunday): Oh my god, Sugar Twink is an exercise in gender and sexuality fuckery! Love it!
Tom: Cis, gay (the most boring one, lol). Skylar: Genderfucker (masc), pansexual, greyromantic(?). Noodle (Skylar’s brat persona): Genderfluid, queer. Alyssa: Trans woman, pansexual, gyneromantic. Reef: Non-binary, Bigender, queer (trans-masc or trans-femme, I don’t even know! They are on hormones, I just don’t know if it’s T or E because they enhance and celebrate all of themself! They may be intersex, I just don’t know). Joey: Trans man, demisexual, androromantic. Emma: Cis, lesbian (as boring as Tom, lol).
YEET DRAFT excerpt:
I was greeted at the front by a tall drink of water, or whiskey, or maybe gin. They wore a one size too small button-down suit, their sizable breasts pushing forth and stretching the buttons wide threatening to pop any moment and take an eye out. Over one of those breasts, a name badge read ‘Reef (they/them)’. Their short-trimmed beard sparkled purple to match their heavy eyeshadow and their brilliantly white hair was bundled into a heavy bun atop their head.
“Welcome to Excalibur,” they said with a voice that rumbled so deep I felt it in my balls.
Day 388 (Monday): It’s so much easier to train a puppy than a badly trained dog. It’s NOT that you can’t teach old dogs new tricks, it’s that it’s harder to break bad habits.
More than half of the dogs I have sat were taught their bad behaviors get attention. It’s not intentional bad training on the human’s part, it’s just a communication misunderstanding. When a dog jumps up (asking for attention) and you push it away, you are touching it. That’s attention. Even saying NO, is attention. So, they do the behavior again, because you have taught them with positive reinforcement that it gets attention.
The dogs here have STOPPED jumping up on me because I’ve shown them it does not get them ANY attention. It’s just one little thing, but it’s really damn simple! But… these dogs have been given a LOT of positive reinforcement for unwanted behaviors, so, it’s an uphill battle. Only 52 more sleeps, but who’s counting?
Day 389 (Tuesday): I didn’t exist.
But I did manage to get my blogs submitted for my job, so that’s a win.
Day 390 (Wednesday): My favorite fact-checking search from today’s editing:
Is buttplug 1 or 2 words?
Two words — but a lot of uses as one. So, guess it’s up to me and the context. I love being a writer, haha.
Audio transcription check complete. Now, to edit!
Day 391 (Thursday): I said before that this platform controls the trolls — was I wrong? Are they getting more access?
Fuck, I hope not. But I just read an article that came up on my wall and there were MOSTLY transphobic comments. I love me a good transphobe report and block, but, I didn’t follow the writer because out of 27k followers they had at least six transphobes. The author does not suggest they themselves are anything other than a white cishet man so I’m going to guess this one article was ‘controversial’ compared to their normal style.
I’m not controversial and I have no time for people (ie/ the commenters) who want to make me so.
Day 392 (Friday): The worst ‘phobes are the ones that think their ‘phobeness (because it’s not a phobia — yes, yes, calm down, we agree, it’s not fear, it’s hate — not sure why that makes you feel better, but you do you…) is okay because they have a trans child… and they love them!
Oh dear lord!
“I have a trans son, and I love him, so I’m an ally, but trans women shouldn’t be allowed to play sport, or use the women’s restroom... or blah, blah, blah.”
This was a comment I read. I mean, clearly, I’m paraphrasing, but not by much.
I feel for her son (and I am giving her the benefit of the doubt here that he is a trans man and she isn’t fucking that up too)! This isn’t love and support. This is USING her son’s gender to fight against his very community. This is USING him as an excuse. “I can say this because my son is trans.” No, it doesn’t work that way ‘phobe!
End rant!
Day 393 (Saturday): What body do I even want and when and how did my brain disconnect happen?
I’m still working out my way of doing trans and enby (because as we all know, there is not just ONE way). I think agender or gender apathetic describes me well because the more I discover me, the further I feel from any ‘gender’ definition at all. I wonder when and how my development shifted to result in this feeling of neutrality because I am aware it’s always been there. It’s like, everything gives me gender dysphoria, and at the same time, nothing does. It left me in a constant state of ‘discomfort’. Is anyone picking up what I’m laying down here?
This Week’s Articles:
And on to WEEK 57:
Trans Life Ahead: This week I’ll be publishing Sugar Twink and getting #DearMoon (NUSA prequel short that introduces several of the main characters) ready to be re-published. I’ll be starting NaNoWriMo. And I hope to add some new digital PRIDE prinatble paper bead templates to my Etsy store. Yes, I have an Etsy store, lol. (external link)
Priorities: 1. Editing and Publishing — Sugar Twink 2. Editing — #DearMoon 3. NaNoWriMo Rebel — 5 scenes
Dose: 3 Pumps/day (37.5mg)