15 Foreplay Tips to Drive Her Wild

From the pregame to getting down and dirty

Just about everyone knows that foreplay is essential for great sex, but I don’t think most people realize just how important it is.

Most conversations about foreplay focus on using it to warm your lady up and get her ready for sex.

That’s part of it, sure. But if you ask me, it plays an even bigger role than that.

I can warm myself up if I want to. Give me a locked door and about an hour of privacy and I’ll hop in bed already aroused and wanting sex. But I still won’t skip the foreplay because the sex won’t be as good if I do.

Good foreplay won’t just warm me up to a fuck. It will make that fuck feel more pleasurable, it will make my orgasms stronger, and it will make me come more often.

It will also make me get as dirty as I can be.

When the foreplay leaves me squirming with anticipation and desperate for pleasure, all bets are off.

That’s when I put my face down and push my ass up to completely expose myself to my partner. It’s when I suck his cock until my jaw can’t take it anymore. It’s when I’ll practically beg for his fingers in my ass while his tongue is on my pussy. It’s when I’m down to try every bendy, awkward position I’ve seen in porn.

If the foreplay is good enough, I’ll do almost anything — and I’ll fucking love it instead of feeling embarrassed by it.

That’s how I want to feel during sex, and I bet most women feel that way. I’m sure their partners appreciate it, too.

But to intensify her pleasure, unleash her dirty side, and make her come so exquisitely that she feels like letting you in her pants was the best decision she’s ever made, you need to give her some incredible foreplay.

If you want to drive her absolutely wild, here’s how to do it.

Start With the Pregame

People use the term “foreplay” pretty loosely. Some people use it to mean everything from going on a date to having a bit of banter.

I don’t consider it foreplay until there’s actual play involved.

But all the stuff that comes before it is still important. Foreplay makes sex better, and the pregame works the same way — it turns up the heat on the foreplay.

Instead of going in unprepared, the pregame makes her anticipate all the ways you’re going to touch her. It fills her head with dirty little thoughts about you. It makes her curious about what you’ll do to her, which makes finding out that much more exciting.

A big part of the pregame is flirting and seduction.

Flirt with her consistently, not just an hour before you plan to pounce on her. Do it out of the blue when you’re thinking about her. Do it whenever you’re inspired by how great her tits look in her tight sweater. Do it when you don’t expect sex at all, because flirting’s about so much more than that.

Give her compliments that only someone who fucks her has the right to give her. Tell her how amazing her ass looks when she’s leaning over the kitchen counter. Tell her that her low-cut dress gets you really fired up. Tell her how turned on you are when she flashes you a shy smile.

Don’t worry about complimenting her over the same things. No one gets tired of hearing how good they look. And just to be safe, you can vary the way you say it — there are dozens of ways to give the same compliment.

Just make sure that it’s entirely sincere and genuine. Otherwise, it will start to sound rehearsed and automatic. If she doesn’t hear the desire behind your words, they’ll lose their punch.

And be sure to touch her.

Words can make her feel special and desirable, but can sound hollow when they don’t come with some physical affection.

Stroke her arms or legs while you’re cuddling.

Stop her when she’s walking by just so you can pull her in close and kiss her neck.

And play with her hair any chance you can. Trust me.

Touching her the right way is going to make her feel loved and wanted, which is going to make her even more receptive when you get to the foreplay.

Don’t Rush

A lot of men fantasize about fast sex. No lead up — just straight to the action.

She walks up to him, drops to her knees, and gives him a completely spontaneous blowjob. She takes his dick out while he’s busy on his laptop and strokes it without prompting. Or she strips naked, gets on her hands and knees, and begs to be fucked.

Maybe those are the kinds of scenarios that would make them feel really desired. Or maybe it’s the kind of fantasy you develop when you wish you were having more sex.

But you need to take a different approach with her.

Yanking her pants down and fingering her abruptly isn’t going to do it for her.

If the foreplay is going to make her feel passionate and lead to hot sex, it needs to have a buildup. It needs to have anticipation built right into it.

Don’t rush to touch her pussy. Instead, stroke her skin. Squeeze her ass. Rub her thighs. Massage her tits and gently pinch her nipples. Kiss her all over.

Undress her. Lift up her shirt. Pull her panties down slowly. Admire her body. Take a good look at her ass, her pussy, and anything else you love about her.

Everything you do should feel like it’s a promise for more. It should feel like you’re moving in a direction but you’re willing to take your time to get there.

When my husband creates a long buildup, I can feel the difference.

I go from being open to having sex to feeling pathetically desperate for a fuck. I pant like I’m in heat and I get dizzy from how fast I’m breathing.

By the time we get to the next step, I’m ready to beg him for it — and sometimes I do.

You can get her there, too. But you won’t be able to if you skip through the steps and are too eager to move on to the next thing.

Take Your Time

There’s no set duration when it comes to foreplay, but you should be spending a lot of time on it.

It should at least last longer than the penetrative sex portion of your evening.

Every time I have sex, it goes for more than an hour. Most of that is foreplay.

I wouldn’t want it any shorter than that. I’m sure I’d still have fun. I’m sure I’d get a decently satisfying fuck at the end of it. But it wouldn’t be as hot and it wouldn’t be as pleasurable.

Plus, foreplay is worth doing for its own sake. You can have an amazing night doing nothing but the kinds of things you do during the foreplay stage.

You could keep an eye on the clock to make sure you’re going long enough, but that might take your head out of the game.

The best way to make sure you’re taking your time is to focus on all the things that turn you on.

Take in her horny moans. Get a good look at her body in all your favorite positions. Feel the way she’s touching you, stroking your cock, and slobbering all over it.

Enjoy the moment and let her savor it, too.

If you do that, prolonging the foreplay won’t be an issue. It will just come naturally.

Undress for Her

A lot of guys assume that women aren’t visual when it comes to sex.

We are. Big time.

We’re not always as vocal about it. We might not state our preferences for nice forearms or strong-looking hands out loud, but we have them.

And we want to see you naked.

So, get undressed for her. Give her a chance to look at your body while you’re pleasuring her. Drop your dick if you really want to put on a show.

Rub Her Pussy Slowly

Once you’ve teased her, touched her, and made her shiver with just a stroke of your finger tips, it’s time for you to pleasure her pussy.

But you have to do it the right way.

This one is a difficult one because a lot of men misunderstand what women want from fingering. And that causes some problems because bad fingering can be uncomfortable and kind of a turn-off.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that there should be a natural progression to the way you stimulate her.

Don’t start in by rubbing her hard and fast. Most women prefer to be touched softly and slowly at first.

And I mean really fucking soft and really fucking slow.

I used to find manual sex frustrating because I’d ask my husband to go softer or slower, and he would but never enough. It’s not that he wasn’t listening to my feedback — he just wasn’t understanding just how sensual I wanted his touch to be.

When I showed him a porn video of a guy making a woman come by stroking her pussy with a soft makeup brush, he got the idea.

Whatever your idea of slow and soft is, go slower and softer than that — at least at first. Depending on how sensitive she is, she might want a soft stroke all the way through or she might eventually want you to rub her clit hard and fast.

Make sure your fingers are wet when you’re touching her — otherwise, it might be uncomfortable or even painful for her. You can use your saliva or her natural lubrication if there’s enough, but there’s no shame in using water-based or silicone-based lube to make your fingers slick and make your touch even more stimulating.

Work your way up to any penetrative play. Don’t insert any fingers until you’ve pleasured her pussy for a little while. Once you do, keep stimulating her clit at the same time with your thumb, your palm, or your other hand. The fingering action is going to feel so much better for her if you’re giving her clit plenty of attention.

Go Down on Her

There are different things you can do during foreplay. Some of it you can leave out sometimes, some you can throw into the mix just to spice things up. It’s a good idea to keep things interesting and unpredictable.

But you should eat her out. Every single time.

Unless she wants you to skip it because she’s too damn eager for something else, treat this as an essential part of every foreplay.

Licking her pussy is incredibly intimate. It will make her feel desired even more than she already does.

It’s also one of the best sensations in the world, so don’t cheat her out of it.

Take the same approach you did when you were rubbing her pussy. You want to start off slowly, tease her a little, and work your way up to going faster. She might prefer a soft tongue or a hard one. She might like it slow or fast. And although it’s not for everyone, some women can’t get enough of having their clits sucked.

Fingering her while eating her out is a really solid move. Just make sure that you’re giving your tongue priority. If you have to lose concentration, fuck up the rhythm, or stop moving anything, make it your fingers. Keep your tongue going because that’s where most of her pleasure will be coming from.

Treat Her Right When She Gives You Head

I truly believe that every sex act should be reciprocal in some way, and this is no exception.

When she’s sucking your cock, obviously it’s for your pleasure. It’s her way of making you feel incredible.

But she should get something out of it, too.

Chances are she already does. She probably loves how sexy she feels doing it. She might love knowing that she’s giving you so much pleasure with just one part of her body. Or she might just have that animal urge to put your cock between her lips.

If you don’t just sit there like a statue when you’re getting blown, you can make it an even bigger turn-on for her.

First off, let her offer it to you. Definitely don’t push her head down.

She wants to know that she’s doing a good job, so be vocal. Moan and groan when it feels good. Tell her how sexy she looks with your cock in her mouth. Praise her skills when she’s doing everything you love. Give her a little gentle guidance when you want it differently.

Gently hold her hair while she sucks you off, or run your fingers through it. Give it a few light tugs if she’s into that.

Unless she’s submissive and enjoys a good facefucking, don’t thrust in her mouth. Enjoy it and let her do the work. This is her opportunity to make you feel good and show off her skills.

If you can do those things, you’ll make her hornier, she’ll suck you off even more enthusiastically, and she’s a lot more likely to want to blow you again the next time.

Wash Your Hands

Definitely wash your hands before the foreplay starts.

I know it sounds basic, but it’s a step that’s easy to skip when you’re eager to get things going.

Dirty hands can lead to infections, which is something she’d rather not have to worry about when she’s getting pleasure.

When your hands are clean, she can focus on what she wants to — how good your fingers feel inside her.

And don’t hesitate to pop out of the room for a minute to wash your hands midway through. If your hands get covered in lube, she’ll be fine with you not wanting to get everything sloppy or sticky. If you had your fingers in her ass, she’ll definitely appreciate you giving them a scrub instead of spending the rest of the evening trying not to touch her pussy.

Listen to Her

If there’s one skill you should master to be a better fuck, it’s how to communicate during sex.

It’s really the only way to give her exactly what she wants.

Paying attention to her reactions, asking for feedback from her, and checking in regularly will let you tailor everything you do to her preferences.

You’ll know when she wants you to go slower or needs it harder. You’ll know when she wants you to try something new. You’ll know when it’s time to hold steady and not change a fucking thing.

No one knows her body better than she does, so take every little signal she gives very seriously.

Listening to her also keeps her turned on and present. Nothing will take her out of the moment more than feeling like she isn’t being heard.

Spank Her the Way She Likes It

A really good spanking feels downright amazing.

A firm slap delivered with good form will give her an intense jolt of pleasure. Every smack on her ass is going to bump her arousal up.

But like anything else, it only works if you do it right.

What’s right, though, will depend on what your lady prefers.

There are some general rules. Most women will prefer a spank that doesn’t actually hurt. You’ll also want to spank the bottom of her bottom and avoid the top of her ass.

But you’ll have to check in with her to see how firm she wants it and how many smacks she can take. She might just want a few soft taps on her ass to make her feel naughty or she might want dozens of hard slaps that she can feel throughout her entire nervous system.

If she’s really turned on by a good spanking, you can experiment with paddles and crops. They’re not necessarily rougher than a hand but they give a different sensation to vary things up.

Say Something

Most women wish they heard more dirty talk during sex. Foreplay is the perfect time for it.

Hearing a few well-placed dirty phrases can take the whole experience up and turn her on more than your hands could on their own.

If you’re not sure what to say, keep it simple.

Compliment her body. Tell her you love the way she’s touching you. Tell her what position you want her in and what you’ll do to her when she gets in it.

You can watch porn for dirty talk inspiration, though you’ll probably have to do a little digging. Men talking dirty in porn is sadly uncommon.

Just be cautious about the kind of language you use. A lot of dirty talk can be derogatory, which can be really hot in the right circumstances but your lady might not appreciate being called a filthy slut or your little whore. Definitely get consent from her before veering into that territory.

Whatever you say, make sure you say it with confidence. Wavering or speaking timidly won’t have the same effect as a line delivered firmly.

Give More Than You Get

I think sex is better if everyone involved approaches it with a selfless attitude. Even submissive gals like me want to feel like we’re giving and contributing.

But you shouldn’t just aim to be giving — you should try to give at least twice as much pleasure as you get.

We’re talking about driving her wild, not playing fair. And it’s easier to get her there if you’re not going fifty-fifty.

Just be sure that you take something, too.

She’ll love being pampered and taken care of, but she still wants to feel sexy. She wants to get you turned on. And she’ll want to get her hands on your cock, so make sure you let her.

Use Her Favorite Sex Toys

People sometimes treat sex toys like they’re just for masturbation, but there’s so much fun to be had when you play with them as a couple.

I love when my husband takes out some of my sex toys and uses them on me. He’ll sometimes use them in ways that I don’t when I’m by myself. And even when he replicates the way I play with them, it always feels completely different when he’s the one using them on me.

Using sex toys opens up a world of possibilities.

You can use a dildo to give her the feeling of getting fucked while you eat her out.

You can hold her vibrator against her clit while she sucks you off.

You can have her ride a wand while you spank her ass.

Lubing up her buttplug and sliding it inside her can make all the other stimulation you give her feel more intense.

Whatever she has, bring it out and experiment with it. You’ll be able to give her so many different types of pleasure when you do.

Blindfold Her

If she’s submissive or just enjoys a little sensory deprivation, you should ask if she wants to be blindfolded.

Blindfolding is such a simple act, but it’s been a complete game-changer for me.

Everything feels heightened when I’m blindfolded. It’s like my skin becomes more sensitive and my pussy becomes even more receptive to pleasure.

While the blindfold’s on, focus on teasing her, touching her all over, and doing some sensory play (try feather ticklers or stroking her skin with different materials).

Indulge Her Kinks

Don’t wait until you’re fucking her to make her fantasies come true. Whatever her kinks are, incorporate them into the foreplay.

What that looks like will be completely different for every woman.

She might melt if you edge her or just find it really frustrating. She might hate assplay or be a total buttslut. You’ll have to get into some deep conversations about that stuff so you know exactly what she wants from you.

If she’s into ageplay, bondage, or foot stuff, you’ll turn her on like crazy by leaning into it.

And if you don’t share her kinks, try to find a middle ground that works for both of you.

You could try a light version. If you can’t give her hardcore humiliation, for instance, maybe you can call her a few names while undressing her.

You might be able to roleplay a fetish even if you can’t actually get into doing it.

Or you could use your words to recite a kinky fantasy while pleasuring her.

Make Her Want More

There’s a place for quickies, even in long-term relationships.

Some nights, you feel like you’ve only got 15 minutes to fuck, so you try to be as efficient as possible.

There are also times when you’re just in the mood for one thing. She might just want to give you a handjob and watch you come, or you might want to eat her out until she’s had as many orgasms as she can handle.

Those are all great. Variety is really important for keeping your sex life interesting and satisfying. So, go ahead and keep looking for new ways to fuck around and enjoy each other.

But if you want to make her so horny she’s barely herself anymore, make her come so hard she feels deeply grateful that you’re in her life, and secure your place as one of her all-time top fucks, you’ll need to give her lots of incredible foreplay and give it to her often.

Take your time, rub her pussy slowly, dirty talk like you’re dripping with confidence and you’ll have her begging for more.

Let’s keep in touch! Sign up for my weekly newsletter (I won’t send you anything without your enthusiastic consent!)

❤ If you liked this post, you might also love: