You Can Call Me a Slut — But Only if You Respect Me

It’s the only time it doesn’t feel like an insult

I didn’t know if I could trust him. I wasn’t even sure I could trust myself.

We had met online and flirted aggressively over text messages. Talking to him made me feel incredibly hot but it also made me a little uneasy.

I was a married woman in a newly opened marriage and I was feeling the heat that comes from having sex with someone new — even if it was all long-distance.

It was as intense as a headrush. It gave me butterflies that felt like passion. I was already doing things I never thought I’d be comfortable with.

He made me so horny there was no telling what I might end up doing. I needed a way to make sure I wouldn’t get caught up in anything I wasn’t ready for. So, I told him I wanted to have a conversation where we set out our boundaries.

I explained that I can’t be asked for a blowjob. Even when it’s done with absolutely no pressure, it can still be triggering for me.

I also said I didn’t want to be choked. It’s not something I was into at the time and definitely something I wouldn’t do with just anyone.

And I told him I don’t enjoy being degraded. I specifically added “Don’t call me a slut or anything like that.”

Having that conversation made me feel better. I felt like I could have my fun with him and not worry that things would take a turn I couldn’t handle.

I felt so good, in fact, that I got excited about fucking my husband that evening.

One of the things I loved about those conversations is taking the energy I got from them to Mr. Austin. After I was done with a day of flirty texts, I could give him the one thing he loves more than anything else: an extremely horny wife.

After lots of foreplay, I got the urge to give him head. I slid my fingers into the waistband of his underwear and pulled them down. I steadied his hard cock with my hand and gave him the best my mouth could give.

He brushed my hair from my face and moaned. He looked down to watch me trace my tongue up and down his shaft. Then, he laid his head back and groaned, “You are such a good little slut.”

Those words lit me up inside. The way he said them made me feel so fucking sexy. I sucked him even more eagerly, proud of the fact that he had used those words to describe me.

I told one guy to never call me a slut while working hard for the other one to use that exact word with me. Because it’s not the word that bothers me. It’s the way it’s used and who uses it that matters.

The Right Way to Call Her a Slut

There are different ways to call a woman a slut during sex, and the right way to do it depends on her preferences.

For the most part, the right way is to not use the word at all. It’s a word that a lot of us have a pretty bad relationship with and I’d wager most women would rather never hear it, no matter what your intentions are.

For those of us who are into hearing it, the way it’s delivered makes all the difference.

There are some women who are into straight up humiliation, and the fact that it’s such a harsh word is why they love hearing it during sex.

There’s something really dirty about being called a slut. It can fill a woman with shame and make her feel debased. And if she happens to have the right kink, it can put her in a very submissive place that she can thoroughly enjoy.

I completely understand that because I’m sexually submissive myself and I know how incredible it can be to fall into subspace. It’s an intense, euphoric feeling. It feels like letting go and bathing in the horniest and happiest emotions you’ve ever felt.

It’s so powerful that it rivals an orgasm for the amount of pleasure and satisfaction it gives.

If I could reach that state by being humiliated, I would beg to be called all sorts of names, including a slut.

Humiliation doesn’t do it for me, though. Instead of making me feel submissive, it completely turns me off.

What does work for me, though, is praise.

I have a full-blown praise kink. I get off on giving pleasure and being rewarded for it. I can’t get enough of being called a good girl during sex, and I do what it takes to earn that title.

And even though it pumps me up instead of putting me down, that praise makes me feel submissive because it puts all the power in my partner’s hands.

When I have sex with my husband, I work hard for his approval. I look for signs that I’ve done a good job and pleased him. I perform for him, doing whatever it takes to earn his admiration and appreciation.

By doing that, I make myself vulnerable to his judgment. And he’ll reward my efforts by grunting and groaning with pleasure, complimenting my body and my moves, or fucking me like he can’t hold back.

And sometimes, he’ll do it by calling me a good little slut.

It’s the way he says it. It feels like a shorthand for telling me I’m really good at sex.

Other times, it’s him teasing me for being so horny or doing something really dirty.

But it’s never used to put me down. He doesn’t say it to humiliate or degrade me. It’s just one of the ways he shows his total and complete appreciation of me. And I live for that.

Not Everyone Has the Right to Use That Word

I have no problem with my husband calling me a slut during sex — as long as he does it affectionately. But that doesn’t mean I’d be okay with hearing it from just anyone, even if I’m sleeping with them.

I don’t think that’s unusual. You should never use derogatory language with someone unless they’ve consented to hearing it. It’s not something you should just blurt out mid-fuck.

And just because a woman likes to hear it from one person, it doesn’t mean she’ll enjoy hearing it from someone else.

For me, it all comes down to intention. I need to know, believe, and feel that the meaning behind that word is exactly the one I want it to be.

I need to know, without a doubt, that it’s being used with complete and total respect. And that means it has to come from someone who has demonstrated consistent respect for me outside the bedroom.

That’s why it’s been a boundary with anyone but my husband. So far, no one else has made me feel safe enough to hear that word and enjoy it.

I need to know that it comes from someone who isn’t playing me or using me for sex. It has to be someone who treats me like an equal. Someone who doesn’t enjoy putting me down.

Otherwise, when they call me a slut, I have to worry that they actually mean it. That on some level they don’t think as highly of me as I thought they did.

I consider calling me a slut to be a privilege, and it’s not one that is easily earned.

It’s only for those who can let me be vulnerable without feeling exposed. It’s for those who can hear my most embarrassing fantasies without making me feel ashamed for having them. It’s for those who leave absolutely no doubt in my mind about their intentions or what they want from me.

So far, there’s only one person who makes me feel that comfortable. I can’t think of a better way to reward him than to let him have the naughtiest, dirtiest, and sluttiest version of me there is.

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