11 Glorious Things You Can Expect When You Ignore a Narcissist
Reframing your thinking is a powerful thing
You’ve heard about no contact. It feels like ignoring, ghosting — it feels rude.
Yet it seems like the only way.
You wonder what you can expect.
The Narcissist’s Predictable Response
The narcissist’s response depends on the type of narcissist, their need for narcissistic supply, and how they feel about you.
Assuming a narcissist continues to reach out to you despite your lack of interest, what can you expect in response if you ignore them?
The thrill of the chase
An overt, grandiose narcissist with adequate narcissistic supply will see this as a great chase, a game of cat and mouse. They love the hunt. They want to win.
They don’t want to win you, mind you. They just want to win. It’s like spending $50 on a carnival game to win a $5 stuffed animal. It’s only about winning the game.
Once they’ve won, they’ll lose interest and find another contest.
“How dare you?”
An overt narcissist desperate for supply or a malignant narcissist will experience significant narcissistic injury from this slight. This will immediately be followed by narcissistic rage.
Behavior to get your attention, to be relevant, will escalate.
- Stalking
- Verbal/physical/emotional abuse
- Showing up at your workplace
- Contacting your family
- Trying to connect through fake social media accounts
Once they’ve got your attention, they plan to punish you for this transgression.
The desperate play for attention
A covert narcissist is pretty much always desperate for narcissistic supply. They feel narcissistic injury, followed by narcissistic rage; however, take a different approach.
The shunned covert narcissist may…
- Get into a car accident
- Sustain a physical injury
- Go to the emergency department for an illness
- Faint at work
- Attempt suicide
- Get themselves fired
- Eliminate all hygiene, becoming disheveled
Once they’ve got your attention, they’ll say…
- What did I ever do to you to be treated this way?
- How can you be so cruel?
- I’d never do this to you.
This is only part one of their approach.
Part two involves crafting overwhelming sympathy for them and hatred for you from their flying monkeys.
What Happens to You When You Ignore a Narcissist?
Now for the reframe. Beyond attention to your safety, it’s not about the narcissist. Your focus is you.
Once you’ve become truly indifferent, once you are no longer impacted by the narcissist’s drama and chaos — they become much easier to ignore.
The changes you’ll notice are vast.
- You see their behavior so clearly.
- You think about the narcissist less.
- You have time for other people, places, and things.
- You cultivate healthy relationships.
- You create new healthy habits.
- You find yourself again.
- You get clear about where you’re headed.
- You own your value.
- You realize you have nothing to prove — to anyone.
- You feel whole.
- You feel at peace.
Intention is everything.
Ignoring, ghosting, or going no contact with a narcissist is not about punishing them, teaching them a lesson, or changing their behavior. Those things won’t work.
It’s about saying, “I deserve better,” and meaning it.
Don’t you deserve better?
Disclaimer: This answer is for informational and educational purposes only and does not constitute medical or legal advice. It’s a recount of how I’ve been able to help myself and others heal from narcissistic abuse and how it may be helpful to you.
Dr Melissa Kalt, MD is a trauma and covert narcissistic abuse expert who helps high-impact women break free from the longstanding after effects of narcissistic abuse. Download her free risk-assessment guide, 3 Hidden Financial Risks Every High Income Woman MUST Avoid While Coparenting with a Covert Narcissist and find information on working with her on her website.
Recommended for you: How Does a Narcissist React When You Set a Firm Boundary? and Is It Possible to Have a Successful Relationship with a Narcissist?
