To the Morning Commute Train Masturbator
Yeah I watched, you nasty fucker
You weren’t the first person I saw masturbating in public. Just a year prior, I was coming home from work in the early afternoon and when the train stopped near some parked cars, I saw a man doing his business right in the driver’s seat, probably oblivious to the fact that anyone could see him. But you? You clearly wanted to be watched. Why else would you stick your hands in your pants in the middle of a crowded train that morning and whip it out while I was sitting right next to you?
I usually don’t reward bad behavior, but in this case….
Did I watch you? Yes. Did I enjoy it? Yes. But not in the way that you probably think. As far as I’m concerned, if you’re going to be bold enough to whip out your dick in the middle of a crowded train at 7:00 a.m. when I’m on my way to a job I hate, you’d better put on a great show and be packing something that doesn’t look like an eraser belongs at the end of it.
You came, I saw, and that was the end of it.
If you were trying to offend or frighten me, you didn’t. I can’t even say I was mildly annoyed by it; I was more amused. And it wasn’t sexy at all, so if you think I got to the office and ran to the bathroom to diddle myself in a stall, you’d be dead wrong. There was nothing about you or your cock that was remotely arousing to me.
But I did find you interesting in another way. I wondered what the fuck was going on in your mind that would make you do something like this. Did you do it all the time? Was there something about me in particular that inspired you to do it for some reason? It was so early in the morning, you had to be on your way to work, even though you were dressed fairly casually. I wondered what you did for a living and if anyone in your life knew about your nasty extracurricular activities.
Then, as my mind ran through different scenarios about your life and motivations, it was over. You came, I saw, and that was the end of it. I got off at my stop and went on about my day.
Just because I gave you the attention you obviously wanted…doesn’t mean your cock is so grand….
So what’s the moral of this story? You really need to read the room. No one going to work that early wants to see your dick. No one. Just because I gave you the attention you obviously wanted because I’m weird like that doesn’t mean your cock is so grand that you need to show it off everywhere you go. While there are definitely places where your public masturbation would be tolerated, or even celebrated, a train full of tired, miserable commuters going to a job they probably despise is not one of those places.
As for me, you’re just another person I happened to watch. You see, I’ve always been a people watcher. I don’t know if it’s because I’m a writer or an introvert, or maybe I’m just plain nosy, but I’ve always found human behavior interesting — within reason of course. While I won’t crane my neck to listen to the conversations of people sitting near me on a train, if they’re exceptionally loud, I will pay attention to what’s going on and try to figure out why it’s going on. And that’s what you were to me.
Another word to the wise, more importantly, stop doing that shit. If you don’t, you’re going to come across somebody who isn’t as indifferent about your public masturbation as I was, and you may find yourself picking your ass up off the floor or in handcuffs — or both.
As someone who saw what you’re working with and saw your moves, believe me, they’re not worth that kind of trouble.
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