Making the Most Out of Sexy Stolen Holiday Moments With Your Partner
Your time may be limited, but your intimacy doesn’t have to be
There’s no doubt that this can be a busy and stressful time of year, and with everything going on, it may be difficult to find quality time with your partner. However, just because you may not have as much time for intimacy as you would like doesn’t mean you can’t make the most of the time you do have together. The following expert tips can help you make the most of sexy stolen holiday moments with the one you love.
Focus on Love
Although your mind may be buzzing with holiday details and the stressors of everyday life, this should not distract you from any fleeting moments with your partner. In order to make the most out of limited time, Dr. Britney Blair, Co-Founder of the sexual wellness app Lover and Founder of The Clinic, an independent mental health clinic in Northern California, suggests that you let the outside world fade away and just focus on the love you share with each other.
“It is truly so much sweeter to give than to receive.” — Christine DeLozier
“Try to avoid chatting about kids, money, or logistics. Remember what it was like when you were first dating and connect by talking about something that caught your attention, and something that was funny or interesting,” Blair said. “Try to avoid talking about negative news — there is plenty of that lately. Give each other permission to unplug and let go of all your stressors so you can connect, even if you only have ten minutes.”
Improvise Whenever You Can
Sometimes you need to take advantage of the time you have, even if that means improvising. Dr. Michael Stokes, LMHC, Rhode Island Sex Therapy LLC, says a good way to bond with your partner this time of year is to find a chunk of time here, and a block of time there, as you do other things.
“The secret to finding intimate time without adding additional stress is taking advantage of those small times together,” Stokes said. “How about the time baking cookies in the kitchen? Maybe do it together. Or maybe have a good make out session in the kitchen while you wait the 15 minutes for your cookies to be ready. We get in the habit of thinking we need to set aside large chunks of time and this gets in the way of us looking for the small moments of sneaking in time together.”
Talk About What You Want
Since it’s such a busy time, it’s important for couples to talk to each other openly about their expectations. This way, you and your partner are clear about what you want to do together through the holiday season, which makes it easier to enjoy that time.
“To put it very simply, just be together.” — Dr. Nikki Goldstein
“Talk with each other and determine how the holidays will evolve. Talk about the things you’d love to do together and make sure you do it — but don’t pressure yourself to do it,” said Nikolina Jeric, Founder of 2Date4Love.com. “For instance, you can shower together, have your own private picnic in your room, go for a walk together in the evening, or even do some chores together away from the rest of the family.”
Slow Down
Chances are you’re running around like crazy these days. However, when it comes to time with the one you love, it’s best to think of it as an opportunity to slow down and relish the moments you have.
“Slowing down and savoring the moment is key to making the most out of the time you have with your partner. Keep it simple. Stay in. Sit by the fire. Watch a Christmas movie together,” Mayla Green, sexpert and Managing Director at The Adult Toy Shop, said. “We already have enough on our plates with activities and social gatherings, so spending one-on-one time with your partner during the holidays offers a perfect precious moment to relax during the craziness of the season.”
Be Present
Time together doesn’t mean you have to have sex. In fact, time with your partner doesn’t mean you have to do anything at all, says sexologist and relationship expert Dr. Nikki Goldstein. The most important thing is that you’re present and enjoying each other without the noise that can pull you away mentally and emotionally.
“Do your best to minimize distractions so you can maximize your fun.” — Rori Sassoon
“To put it very simply, just be together. Put all the outside distractions behind you for a small amount of time and just be present with each other,” Goldstein said. “You might not even want to talk, or you may want to have a conversation about what’s going on in the world. But the aim of this time is to be together, however being together works best for you and your partner.”
Eliminate Interruptions
When you have limited time, you want to make the most of it. One way you can do this is to create an environment that eliminates disruptions, so you can focus on the love at hand.
“Make sure you have no interruptions. Set yourself up for success! Whether it’s putting your phones completely away, or dropping the kids off at Nana’s, do your best to minimize distractions so you can maximize your fun,” said Rori Sassoon, Co-Owner of matchmaking agency Platinum Poire and author of The Art of the Date*. “Plan out your evening and alone time together, and even make an itinerary if you have to. Just make a concrete plan. If you put effort into planning a date night, it’s likely you will see it through.”
Be a Giver
Having limited time with your partner can become an exercise in pampering — pampering your partner, that is. Although it’s great to indulge in your own pleasure, according to Christine DeLozier, L.Ac., author of The Diet for Great Sex, we should also get in the spirit of giving, which is the spirit of the holidays.
“The secret to finding intimate time without adding additional stress is taking advantage of those small times together.” — Dr. Michael Stokes
“‘Tis the season of giving — that’s what the holidays are all about after all. Making the most out of the holidays doesn’t mean the most for ourselves. It can be beautiful to make it about our partner. How would you like an entire night of being worshipped? Wouldn’t that feel great? Well, then you know how special it would feel to your partner,” said DeLozier. “During times when you have limited time with your partner, try focusing just on them. It is truly so much sweeter to give than to receive. And, not that this is the point, but, when your partner sees just how willing you are to make them feel special, it will inspire them to do the same. Kindness begets kindness, especially in relationships.”
Just because your schedule is jammed packed with holiday activities doesn’t mean you can’t have alone time with your partner. With a little ingenuity and a lot of flexibility, even stolen moments can be special memory makers that you savor for years to come.
*This article contains affiliate links.
More from Kiki Wellington:
