Feminism and Dating Issues: Two Different Things!
You know, I think that there is kind of a disconnect between what the real issues are and what people’s opinions are about things that might not be as important. And I think that some of the complaints that people think are against feminism or against women in general (or vice versa as being against men’s right or men in general), may simply be people’s personal opinions. When it comes to dating issues, feminism and dating issues can indeed overlap (and in some cases they do), so I hope to touch on that later in this article.
So when it comes to feminism, if it is indeed about equal rights (as far as all people being equal under the law) and things like people getting paid the same rate for doing the same jobs (the only difference potentially being how long someone has done it, such as getting a raise), and little things like that, you know, HUMAN rights, then that’s all well and good! After all, one would assume that most reasonable people with some type of morality, empathy, HUMANITY, etc., would be all for human rights for all people.
Yes, there are some goofballs who seem to be cool with oppression and different things of that nature, but by and large, a lot of people (at least hopefully a lot of people…), realize that human rights and inalienable rights should be had, protected, and even fought for if necessary.
All that being said, even though people, men in particular, can agree with the above sentiments about feminism, human rights for all people, people not being a oppressed or discriminated against based on their particular demographic, etc., that doesn’t mean that people, men in particular, have to agree with the debacle known as modern dating, nor does it mean that men have to agree with or even like the way that a lot of modern women conduct themselves when it comes to not only just dating, but in society in general. That in itself doesn’t have to do with equal rights or anything, at least as long as they give women and whoever else the right to be as silly as they want to be, so long as their silliness isn’t unjustly hurting or harming anyone or infringing on anyone else’s rights.
I think that is where a lot of the disconnect comes from. People blend the two issues and, even though they may overlap in some ways, it seems that it also muddies the waters and confuses people from focusing on the real issues. For instance, a man can realize that women should not only be able to work if they want to and have their own money, but should also be able to get paid the same amount as a man for doing the same job and all of that stuff.
However, a man may also think that it’s silly for women, who have fought for the right to work and have equal pay, to still demand that any man they date must make as much, if not more, than they do, otherwise, they would consider it “dating down.” 🙄 A man may also think that it’s fairly illogical for a woman to not realize that, with the right to work and equal pay, comes the very real possibility of some men actually making less than some women.
So women finding that unacceptable may seem a bit strange, especially considering the popular idea of the independent woman and a woman “who don’t need no man” yet still, apparently, only wanting to date men who are capable of being a financial provider so that her money is hers and his money is hers. All of this from some women who say that they don’t need a man and that men shouldn’t want to be needed, but wanted, yet those same women seem to only WANT the men who they apparently want to need financially, even if, technically, they don’t need or shouldn’t need their money at all. Man realizing these things doesn’t mean that he is against feminism as far as women having human rights just because he realizes that some women who wanted certain financial… capabilities or whatever apparently don’t want the responsibility that can come with it.
So even though men, at least reasonable men, agree with human rights and people having the right to do whatever they want to do as long as they aren’t unjustly harming others, infringing on other people’s rights, and all of that jazz, may still not necessarily agree with things like the hypergamy issue that dictates that, supposedly, many women only go for the top 20% of men, yet claim that there aren’t any good men out there.
Now, if they choose to stay single (as opposed to potentially talking to a decent guy who is 5’8, has a steady manufacturing job, and would be a good companion who can take care of himself financially, yet could still combine his money with hers to make her life easier, even if he doesn’t pay for everything), well, they have that right. But men realizing that some women only go for certain type of men, complain about men afterwards, and then even get upset about being single (as opposed to going for the men who might actually be in their league, for lack of a better term), may be shooting themselves in the foot, doesn’t mean that they are anti-feminists or even anti-women, really. Perhaps it simply means that they are just a bit observant.
Of course, it may simply bother some men’s ego or whatever that, basically, women are saying that they aren’t good enough (at least if they aren’t considered in the top 20% of men). Besides, it is alleged that many women find 80% of men less than average as far as attraction is concerned anyway. But oh well.
I’m sure that there are other things that I could mention, such as the nice guys/bad boy dilemma that I wrote about in this article That you can read if you want to know more about that. But even beyond just dating and social interaction in general, just because some men realize that a lot of women don’t seem to be particularly great or ethical people, for various reasons, whether some women seem quite manipulative, self-centered, materialistic, or just seem to have a funky attitude in general, whether it be that many seem to lack empathy, aren’t empathetic to men or the loneliness and mental health struggles that a lot of men may face in general (see the following video), etc.
Not to mention those who lie, steal, and, back to dating and relationships, cheat on good-guy husbands with NO remorse, use nice guys who they know like them and have no intentions on dating them whatsoever at all. Just because some men notice these things doesn’t mean that they are anti-feminists, per se. It’s just that some men may feel that a lot of women aren’t particularly great people, regardless of how hot they may be, yet it seems like a lot of people aren’t allowed to make legitimate criticisms when it comes to women in general.
Now, as I said before, sometimes issues with feminism, dating, and society in general can bleed over into one another, so I want to talk about that now. Yes, people should have equal rights and people should be able to date and function in society however they choose, so long as they aren’t infringing upon the rights of others or unjustly hurting or harming others in some way. Regardless of how people feel about it, they don’t have the right to infringe upon the rights of other people, nor to impose their wills on them.
So when it comes to men who try to approach women due to the unfortunate pressure on men to do so, if a woman says “no” or shows that she isn’t interested, as much as it may suck, men need to respect those women’s decisions, respect their boundaries, and not get into harassing them and all that kind of stuff. If you are indeed a decent guy and you know what you bring to the table, oh well. Some women, indeed, some people, just don’t know a good thing when they see it. It is what it is. You can’t knock people over the head and force them to see your value. And if you try, then that bleeds over into human rights issues and that is a reason why it’s justifiable for feminists to fight against men who still bother them, even if they make it clear that they don’t want to be bothered with those type of men. Even if a woman is nasty about it (in the sense of being insulting, etc.), it’s not necessarily illegal for her to do that, though perhaps it just goes to show that she might be one of the many women who just aren’t that great and that a man might have dodged a bullet.
And finally, I want to get into the topic of incels. The problem with incels is that even though they might actually be right about a lot of issues, such as hypergamy, some women’s pickiness, etc., where they are wrong at is how they choose to handle it. Because, in spite of some women’s seemingly unwise choices (and even that’s based on people’s personal opinions or because they feel some type of way for being rejected), it’s NOT RIGHT to try to force women to be with you. Some say that there are incel forums where they actually advocate rape, at least a couple have killed because they feel rejected, and some men who aren’t even really incels have attacked women or became very hostile due to rejections, etc.
Now, even though these issues relate to dating, they bleed over into the need for feminism and the fight for human rights because people have the right to deal with who they choose to deal with. Yes, it may hurt if you actually feel like you are a decent person who keeps getting overlooked due to a lot of people being superficial or having superficial standards and who couldn’t care less about how great you are, just how you look or, perhaps, what you can do for them.
But hey, the only thing you can really do is focus on what you CAN control, not what you can’t. I think stoic philosophy talks about that, but there is another great book that recently came out where the author also added faith into it, saying that if a person doesn’t worry about the things they can’t control, but does their part to be the best human being that they can be, then they should put their faith in God, knowing that He is good and that, in the end, all things will work out well for the righteous. Good message. Crucial, really.
In conclusion, I think that what people need to do, regardless of their race, gender, etc., is to simply respect other peoples right to live and do what they do as long as they aren’t unjustly harming anyone or infringing on other people’s rights. Even if you don’t agree with someone’s lifestyle or choices, ultimately, human rights is about people being free to make those choices, again, as long as they aren’t infringing on the rights of other people.
You may not agree with homosexuality, transgenderism, interracial, relationships, etc. If you as an individual choose not to participate in those things, OK. But that doesn’t mean you have the right to attack other people who do if those people aren’t doing anything wrong to you. On the flipside, other people, whether they be women with funky attitude and bad dating choices, people who are of the LGBTQ community, people who are interested in interracial relationships, etc., also should realize that people have the right to feel about their choices and lifestyle however they do, it’s just that, hopefully, those people who are against it don’t have the power to use their personal feelings to harm or force injustice in some sort of way.
Thank you for reading and I encourage you to share any thoughts that you have in the comments. Good luck and bling bling!