avatarDrthefit | Ankita

Summary

The author reflects on how dating experiences have reshaped their perspective on love and life, emphasizing personal growth, the importance of standards, and the value of self-awareness.

Abstract

The article delves into the author's personal journey through dating and its impact on their outlook on love and life. It highlights the lessons learned from the trials of online dating, the importance of managing expectations without compromising one's standards, and the significance of enjoying single life. The author stresses the necessity of recognizing one's self-worth, the courage to walk away from unfulfilling relationships, and the understanding that not all desired outcomes are meant to be. The narrative underscores the transformative power of dating experiences in fostering a deeper sense of self, confidence, and resilience.

Opinions

  • Dating can bring out insecurities, but it can also teach valuable lessons about oneself and what is truly important in a relationship.
  • It's crucial to have standards and not settle for less than one deserves, while also being open to the natural progression of a relationship.
  • Enjoying single life and not forcing a relationship is key to personal growth and reducing the pressure of finding a partner.
  • Letting go of someone who doesn't meet one's needs or makes them unhappy is a step towards a more fulfilling life.
  • Not achieving every desired outcome, such as a second date or a job promotion, can be a blessing in disguise, leading to better opportunities.
  • A relationship should be with someone who is fully invested and makes an effort to be vulnerable and genuine.
  • Online dating, despite its challenges, has contributed to the author's greater understanding of self, confidence in being alone, and trust in their instincts.
  • The author advocates for being bold, courageous, and one's best self, emphasizing the importance

Dating Changed My Perspective On Love And Life For Good

Learned from my first-hand experiences.

Image Source: Unsplash

Last week, I reconnected with a friend after 8 years. We almost lost touch in all those years and didn’t know anything about each other’s whereabout except social media updates. After our usual catch ups, we both realized how we were and how our lives turned out.

Of course, we both have grown a lot and gained experience since our college days to adulthood and how she found her love of life out of nowhere a couple of years back. As we conversed, the story of how I am single and how online dating is my life now, eventually came up. My bafflement at the daily trials and tribulations of online dating made me realize how different we are to those who found their SOs back in the day.

Sometimes we have to break our illusions so we can understand what’s real when we find it. Eventually, you come out on the other end and realize that you’d go through it all again to get to where you are now.

If there’s one thing I learned in the past couple of years of being single is that it never hurts to lower your expectations while strengthening your standards.

Your time is far too precious to waste on someone who doesn’t fit the bill, but you can’t expect anyone — especially someone you just met — to be everything you ever wanted from the get-go and swoop you off your feet.

Dating will bring out all your insecurities if you let it. The longer you’re single, and the more you crave a relationship, the worse it will be. When you want a relationship so badly, dating will make you wonder, “Am I pretty enough, interesting enough, charming enough?” Then, after you’ve been single for a while, the question becomes, “Is there something wrong with me?”

Chances are there’s nothing much wrong with you besides your anxiety over your relationship status. Once you learn to enjoy single life and accept that a relationship can’t be forced, but should be a natural consequence of a life well-lived, you’ll feel much better about yourself, and the pressure to “find someone” will be lifted.

Instead of looking for The One online, why not start enjoying the process of meeting new people. One of these days, someone you’re just trying to get to know will surprise you. They’ll be everything you’ve been looking for and more.

You should also ask yourself how you would like to feel with someone. If you want to feel respected, and appreciated, try and find someone who makes you feel that away. A lot of people like to dish out advices and some of them aren’t even happy in their own relationship. I take the feedback with a grain of salt.

As many of my fellow millennials have, I have also gone through some very disturbing and some fun interactions in my online dating life and they have left me with lessons that I will take to my grave for changing my perspective not only to love but also to life.

If a relationship is giving you more tears and drama than you need, it’s probably not the one for the long haul. Sitcoms on the TV show the Rosses and Rachel’s of the world, the Sheldon’s and Amy’s, the Ted’s and Robin’s — they break up and makeup all the time.

In reality, life should be more like Jake and Amy — you meet, you fall in love, you get married — probably not without any roadblocks or complications, but with less heartache than necessary. If someone is making you unhappy, the best thing you can do is leave.

If someone’s behavior is stressing you out, leave. If someone’s absence gives you peace of mind, leave. It’s hard, of course, but you owe yourself a life without tears and drama. Sometimes Things Just Don’t Work Out — And That’s Good.

In love and life, not everything goes your way — and it’s frustrating most of the time.

That job you wanted, that promotion you were perfect for, that team you were supporting that lost the match, that man you wanted a second date with but didn’t text you back — things go wrong all the time and we can’t control anything.

Just because you want something, doesn’t mean you will get it. And because you don’t get it, you are better off without it. Trust me. When you don’t get something or someone you wanted, know that something better will come your way. If it doesn’t, you make it happen. Go after what you want but if it doesn’t come to you, let it be. Sometimes, things just don’t work out.

The guy who just wants to ‘See Where It Goes”, the truth is, he doesn’t care about you and already knows where it’s going to end up. We all know what happens when we don’t put effort into something. It tapers off. It fades. The project isn’t successful.

In the end, you deserve better. You are worth more than someone who is lukewarm about the idea of getting to know you. You deserve someone who makes the effort to be vulnerable and be real with you.

A relationship isn’t worth having if it’s with someone who isn’t trying to be a good person or take care of you. The absolute worst part in such a relationship is that he’s taking up space in your life that could be occupied by something better- something that you deserve.

Online dating never did lead me to a husband or babies, but what it did get me: a greater understanding of self, the confidence needed to be alone, the strength to say “No” and the courage to merely walk away from a situation that feels unsafe, trust in my own gut instincts.

If you ask me — dating experience did leave me a tad bit scared but I’m a big girl, I’ll get over it.

Be Bold

Be Courageous

Be Your Best

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Citation: https://readmedium.com/how-dating-changed-my-perspective-on-love-and-life-2a9ecb1b4331

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