Still Single in 2021 — Stop Procrastinating And Do This Instead
“The heart wants what it wants, or else it does not care.” by Emily Dickinson
I have been single for a while. And I have to say, it’s going very well. Like this is working out. I think — I am the “One”.
Too often people want what they want, or think they want at the moment, which is usually “happiness” and to be “content” with life right now.
The irony of their impatience is that only by learning to wait, and by the willingness to accept the bad with the good, do we usually attain those things that are truly worthwhile.
I have a blessing which is sometimes seen as a curse. I am blessed with the gift of being single (as of now). For most of us young professionals, it seems the world has already come up with its own set of expectations on how we should live life.
The world expects us to finish school in our early twenties, get a job, find the love of our lives by the time we reach our mid-twenties, marry and have kids. It’s our popular culture — movies, TV shows, etc where we learn how to fall in love.
But the thing is, not everyone sees their dreams come true in the same way. Here, I shall try to endeavor to change the way the world looks at being single.
The Art of Contentment — For most of us, being single will be more of a phase than a final destination. This is the best place to practice the art of contentment.
Someday, I’m sure most of us will fall in love and get married. But the thing is, love will always be tested. Someone more beautiful/handsome, more charming, richer, funnier, sweeter would come along.
If you have not practiced the art of contentment as a single person, chances are you would be tempted to want that, and not cherish your chosen one.
Practicing the Art of Contentment as a single person means that you take what life gives you, good or bad, you’re willing to see it through.
It means you don’t walk away every time things get tough because it builds in your patience, perseverance, understanding, and a hundred different virtues that people in a hurry will never have.
Being single means you would find how it feels to be alone thus, allowing you to cherish every moment you spend with your chosen one.
The art of contentment means you wouldn’t mind if life had to make you wait for so long to find the love of your life, because you know that the waiting would only make the finding much sweeter.
A Time to Know Yourself Better — Being single is a time of your life when you can get to know yourself better. You can pursue different interests and passions without having to ask another person’s approval.
It is a phase when you can keep the focus on other things, discover your potential and talents, and see yourself become more than what you expect to be. Allow yourself to surprise you.
Stop wasting precious energy trying to figure out why you’re still romantically unattached. It’s all in the mind. Take the time to go see your friends, spend time with your family, do charity work, go on solo travel, and you will realize that you are not, and never for one moment, were alone.
Try to get to know yourself first before you try to get to know other people. To be truly loved means to be known and accepted for who you are.
How do you expect other people to know you and to love you when you don’t know who and what you really are?
Find Your Own Way- To find our own way, we need to look inside. We need to find our answers to make sense of our lives.
When we shut other's voices, we gain clarity about who we really are and what we really want.
Explore the depths of your authentic self, release the fears, limiting beliefs, and pains that hold you back from being, and have the courage and commitment to go for what you most want in life.
Only a desire a required to discover who you are at your core. The truth should be told, but we should not emphasize the negative.
A Choice between Good and Best — Sometimes the dilemmas we face are not between what is absolutely bad and absolutely good. Sometimes, it’s between good and best. Treat this stage of your life as a phase to evaluate who is good for you and who is best for you.
Sometimes, you won’t hear music or feel magic to know who’s best for you. The heart just knows, and it doesn’t need any romantically charged scenario to decide on the matter. Trust in your heart, and trust that time will eventually lead you to, not to the perfect partner, but to the most suitable partner for you.
Being single is a phase of life that we need to be thankful for because being single means our heart has yet to choose the best one for us.
Almost a non-committal — Jane Austen once wrote that it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man, in possession of a good fortune, is in search of a spouse (just to be politically correct).
Well, that was what the old school wanted us to believe in. Married life is a path most of us would take, however, it is not the only path there is.
Relieve yourself from the pressure and stop making every single friend a prospect. You have no business “entrapping” them and asking (which is more like “putting a gun in the head”) them of their exclusive attention if you’re not ready for commitment yourself.
Sometimes, when you spend too much time trying to find a girlfriend/boyfriend, you normally end up marrying the first person who comes to your door.
Take your time, the world will wait.
Being married doesn’t guarantee that it will make your life happy. It doesn’t guarantee anything at all. Sometimes, it only brings two miserable people together only to make their life even more miserable.
Without the right intention, emotional maturity, financial security, and of course, unwavering love, you’re better off unattached.
Living Life — Don’t put your life on hold for Ms./ Mr. Right, but don’t let it waste away with Ms/ Mr. Wrong. Life is about things that you do and the things that happen to you every day. It’s not about the things that could have happened but never did, or things that you think would happen in the future.
Live life now. Live it to the fullest and stop beating yourself up, trying to be perfect on a Saturday night date.
Allow life to surprise you with its most wonderful blessings.
Remember — Being Single is just a status, not a destination.
Be Bold
Be Courageous
Be Your Best
