Am I Good Enough?

Yes, You are enough, you have always been enough and you will always be good enough.

We often ask ourselves if I am good enough to get a promotion or a bump in a salary or to explore new opportunities or even try to change career path. Sometimes even in our personal life also; we have a slight doubt, am a good parent or a partner or a good supportive sibling or just taking right decisions in life or not.

My friend, if you’re in “I’m not good enough” dilemma, it’s well past time for you to wake up from that nightmare of negative, self-destructive thinking and focus on learning how to love yourself and practice self-care instead.

It took me quite a long time to develop a voice and share my opinion in most honest and humble way.

Many times we surround ourselves with self-created doubts or put us in situations to test the water level and in actual we might never be in that situation at all.

It may be the society’s way of telling us we are not doing the things we are supposed to do or the way we are dressing up or in fact the life decisions or choices we are making in our life in general.

Sometimes I am really terrible to myself and relentlessly compare myself to other people, no matter how many times I read or hear about how good enough or lovable I am.

I have had a quite a journey to accept myself and be my own version. How I changed myself — Of course it’s not a day change or a year change. It definitely take some time and constant reminder to be your own self and be the best version.

Here is my learning and how it gradually changed me for the better. Hope it helps you to be good enough and a better version of yourself.

Not asking for external validation or approvals — As a child, we always look up to our parents, older siblings or friends for their constant validation.

If you are playing a sport or getting an A grade in your test paper, you like to show your progress and seek validations from people. I am not saying, getting encouragement is a bad thing , but some times it set us to seek those kind of validations in all of our life. And my friend, life is not fair.

When we fail, we hide ourselves and try to stay invisible as you may not have courage to face people around you.

It’s important to be your own motivation and encouragement. There will always be some people, who will like you and support you whatever you do. However, not always.

Being your own support system is important when you can bounce back and start trying again. In fact creating and building your support system is a stepping stone in a self care journey. People you can rely on and trust with all your heart and mind.

It’s important to keep the support system that really add value in you and make you better in your life. Even if you have only one person in life to encourage you, it’s more than enough.

Follow Progress — Focus on progress rather than perfection and on how far you’ve come rather than how far you have left to go.

One of the biggest causes of self-loathing is the hell-bent need to “get it right.” We strive for perfection and success, and when we fall short, we feel less than and worthless.

What we do not seem to realize is that working toward our goals and being willing to put ourselves out there are accomplishments within themselves, regardless of how many times we fail.

Learn from the past but don’t load them into your present — Past is very powerful in controlling your present and future. It’s important to learn from past mistakes and experiences. It helps you to make better decisions and choices for your future and shape you into a better being.

So don’t obsess over the past if it’s good or bad. Take it as a learning and make sure, you are taking the key learning away from it.

Do not think about the past constantly or say “I wish I would have done that” or something “ why it happened to me” or “My life was better”.

These are not going to help you with your present and future but definitely will make you sad and less encourage you to take action on it. Let the past be as it is. You can’t change that but you can definitely change your future.

So take charge of your present and make sure you’re not repeating the past mistakes or letting your past affect your best judgement.

Train your mind to be positive and assertive — Yes, the mind can play tricks and it can over power your body too. You may want to think positively but your mind is not allowing you to think in right direction.

If you listen deeply, your inner voice is actually critical and judgmental.

Of course some of us don’t even need negative thoughts to ensure we always feel not good enough. We let other people do the job for us by consciously choosing toxic friendships and unhealthy relationships where others put us down no matter how hard we try.

It’s important to channelize your power into something positive, train and feed that positively to your brain. If your brain is saying “ you can’t do this, it’s so difficult” Say instead “ Let me try one time, if I fail, I’ll try again.”

Stop the negative thoughts and shut the voice that keeps on saying you’re not enough or smart or a strong person.

Try meditation, deep breathing exercises to keep your mind calm and balanced.

Listen to learn and love your body and mind — You may not be self aware of your body and mind. But they do definitely speak. Learn to listen to your body and mind.

Maybe you’re constantly exhausting yourself and your mind and body both are tired. Give your body and mind time to relax and recover.

Mindfulness is a wonderful technique for slowing down enough to hear your thoughts clearly. It is about listening and letting go to thoughts without judgement.

Discover something that nourishes your body and mind and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.

Go some physical exercises or yoga or even a simple walk can help you to come out from negative zone.

Practice Self Care and Self Love — Telling yourself what a failure you are won’t make you any more successful. Telling yourself you’re not living up to your full potential won’t help you reach a higher potential. Telling yourself you’re worthless and unlovable won’t make you feel any more worthy or lovable.

You are enough just as you are. And self-love will be a little bit easier every time you remind yourself of that.

I know it sounds almost annoyingly simple, but the only way to achieve self-love is to love yourself, regardless of who you are and where you stand and even if you know you want to change.

Seek Counseling or Therapy — There is no shame accepting if you need professional help. It’s a great step to recognize the need and in my opinion accepting it makes you win the half race already.

I have certainly gone through a couple of years of counseling when I found myself overwhelmed with lots of things in my life and it really helped me to see the bigger picture and gave me a different perspective to assess my life on so many levels.

So if you think you can’t get out of that constant negativity around you or are not able to figure out the reason, why not seek professional help just for a few months. And I’m sure it’s definitely going to be worth it and will help you to see things with brand new perspective.

I am no way saying, I have figured it out all. But learning slowly, steadily and trusting my own journey made me who I am today.

If you’re finding yourself in any of the situations and are able to relate, why not take a pause and re-think what it really means to be “good enough”.

If you’ve been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens. You owe yourself the love that you so freely give to others.

Believe in yourself for a change and see the magic and trust me, I have seen the magic.

Feel free to reach out to me if you want to share your thoughts. I am here.

Be Bold

Be Courageous

Be Your Best

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