6 Tips For Taking It in the Ass

Everything you need for pleasurable anal sex

I was lying in my boyfriend’s arms and enjoying some naked post-sex cuddles when I felt the urge to try something new.

It was a lazy afternoon and we’d already fucked a few times since morning. The orgasms were great and the sex was satisfying, but we were insatiable. We always wanted each other’s bodies.

I felt a strong desire to be as close to him as I possibly could, and what could be closer than having him inside me?

His arms around me made me feel warm and loved and his semi-hard cock pressing against my ass made me feel wanted. So, I decided to initiate in my shy girl way.

I moved my hips, rubbing up against his cock. It didn’t take long before it got stiff again. I was wordlessly asking to get fucked. And I made sure to position myself very precisely, so he would know that I wasn’t asking him to thrust into my pussy again.

This wasn’t my first time having anal sex. I’d done it before with an ex of mine. It was tolerable — not great, but not terrible either.

But this was my first time doing it because I actually craved it. He inspired that in me — his playful, giving energy made me want to explore and experiment.

It had been on my mind for days. I couldn’t shake the fantasy of having him fuck me in every way possible.

And that’s exactly what he did. I pushed my ass against his cock and it slowly slid into me. He thrust tentatively, carefully, and slowly.

I was shocked at how amazing it felt. I was even more surprised when he fucked my ass to an orgasm.

I didn’t even know that was possible.

I lay in his arms afterward, feeling blissfully happy. In one afternoon, my opinion of anal sex had changed entirely. It wasn’t just something I would fantasize about. It wasn’t just something that would make me extra aroused when I saw it in porn. Now it would also be something I could genuinely love doing.

And did I ever. We didn’t do anal every time we fucked, but I was so excited by this new discovery that we started doing it more often than I ever thought I would — or even could.

It made me realize that great anal has everything I want out of a sex act.

It’s intimate and lovingly patient. It’s dirty, exciting, and has a hint of taboo. It’s very stimulating and can lead to powerful orgasms.

But it can only do that if it’s done right.

Over the years, I’ve learned a lot about what it takes to make anal sex an amazing experience — and why it’s sometimes uncomfortable, painful, or just plain bad. These are the six things that I’ve found make the biggest difference.

Get the Position Right

I love trying out different sex positions and experimenting with them. But with anal, I tend to stick to a few tried and tested ones.

That’s because the position you’re in makes a huge difference to how easy the penetration is and how comfortable it feels.

I highly recommend you try starting off in a face down, ass up position. I’ve found it to be the easiest by far. It naturally arches your back and it relaxes and opens you up so it’s much easier to take that cock.

I used to shy away from getting in that position because it made me feel really vulnerable and exposed. You’re basically putting your pussy and asshole on display. But that’s honestly a good thing. I guarantee you’ll look amazing and enticing in that position and your partner will be extremely turned on by it.

Another good option is spooning with your knees tucked up. You’ll have to do a bit more work to arch your back in that one, but it’s easy to get your body in the right position. This one also gives you more control than you would have when going face down, ass up. You can shift your hips, make small adjustments, or push back on your partner’s cock so you can be in control of the speed and depth of the penetration.

Missionary anal is a hot one but a tough one. It looks easy to pull off in porn but it’s surprisingly difficult to achieve in reality. You’re going to be a lot tighter when you’re on your back, and it’s going to be tricky to arch your back to make things go more smoothly.

It’s a position I love, so I do attempt it once in a while. But I normally can’t pull it off unless I’ve already started in another position.

Give yourself time to try out a few positions. If you don’t find it comfortable, aren’t getting much pleasure from it, or struggle to even get the penetration started, it’s okay to shift, move, and adjust until you find a way to position your body that feels perfect.

Bear Down

After my first year of frequent and exciting anal sex, I started having a lot more trouble with it. It was hit or miss, and I even gave up on it completely for years.

As far as I could tell, I was doing everything right. We were taking our time, going slowly, and I was often the one controlling all the penetration.

Still, it often didn’t work at all.

Now I know the one thing that was missing. I wasn’t bearing down.

Bearing down is basically a relaxation technique for your asshole. It helps you loosen up, which makes penetration so much easier.

When you don’t do it, you’ll have a harder time fighting your body’s natural instinct to clench up.

It seemed so counterintuitive to me at first. It feels like you’re flexing your muscles in the wrong direction. But you’re not. You’re inviting your partner’s cock in and that’s going to make all the difference.

Bearing down was a game changer. It taught me that it’s important to take an active role even when I’m on the receiving end. Mostly, it meant that anal could be reliably comfortable and enjoyable again.

Pleasure Your Clit

When you’re doing anal, your ass is the star of the show. But you should still be giving your clit plenty of attention.

Obviously, the more clit stimulation you can get, the better it’s going to feel. I’m a big fan of clit stimulation the whole way through — from the foreplay, to fucking, and definitely when you’re getting your sweet little behind fucked.

But it doesn’t just make anal sex better — it makes it easier too.

Whenever I rub my pussy, it instantly puts me at ease and relieves the tension I feel. It makes me more receptive.

Focusing on the pleasure in my clit helps my body relax and open up. I don’t even have to think about it — it’s an automatic, involuntary reaction. As soon as my clit is getting some love, it’s like my ass stops putting up a fight and just enjoys the ride.

And once the penetration gets going, all that clit stimulation is going to help you reach an incredible orgasm.

Anal feels really good but it’s not incredibly pleasurable on its own. I’ve managed to come from it, but it’s never been the kind of strong orgasm I’d get from getting my pussy pounded really well.

But adding clit stimulation means I get a massive, powerful, leg-shaking blended orgasm. The two types of pleasure magnify each other and the results are just plain mind-blowing.

So, use your fingers or a vibrator — especially during those first slow thrusts. And if you’re in a position that allows for it and your partner has the coordination to pull it off, get him to rub your clit while he’s in your ass so you can experience a really intense finish.

Use the Right Lube

In perfect conditions, you’ll be able to get away with slathering some spit on his cock and getting a nice, smooth ride out of it. I’ve managed it when I was at my horniest and luckiest.

But it’s honestly kind of rare. Usually, I can’t get anywhere without a good amount of lube.

Plus, lubed up anal always feels better than taking a spit-slicked cock. So, make sure you always have some on hand when you attempt any backdoor play.

And use something that’s up to the job. I’ve tried lots of water-based lubes that worked alright for pussy penetration but were no match for ass play.

I personally recommend using a silicone-based lube. It’s slicker, slipperier, and lasts longer. That’s important to me because not having to reapply lube (or having to reapply it a lot less often) makes my anal experience a lot better.

The one I’ve been using the most is Sliquid Sassy. It’s a water-based lube but it’s designed specifically for anal play. It’s thick, slick, and doesn’t get tacky or wear out quickly.

Some people also swear by using oil-based lubes or just plain coconut oil for anal, but I haven’t found one that impresses me or works nearly as well as a good silicone one. If you do want to try one out, though, be aware that oil-based lubes aren’t safe to use with condoms.

Do Some Anal Training

Your asshole is a muscle, and it’s one you can train.

It’s going to clench up involuntarily, which is why anal can be uncomfortable and painful. But with enough practice, you can start to overcome that reflex.

If you want a really good anal experience, you should do some solo assplay first. Get some good lube and a modest buttplug. Get used to the feeling of inserting it and holding it in your ass. Masturbate while wearing it so you can see how good it can feel. Then work your way up to something girthier.

You can get anal training kits. They’re sets of progressively bigger buttplugs that you can use to gradually get used to taking something as thick as a cock.

But my personal recommendation would be to get a dildo that you use only for anal. Get one that’s about as girthy as the cock you’re planning to take. I prefer using a really soft dildo — one that’s got some floppiness to it. That makes the penetration easier and it’s still really stimulating to fuck yourself with it.

You should take the same kind of gradual approach when you’re playing with your partner. Start with a finger instead of going straight for his cock.

The perfect way to get started is having him gently finger your ass while he eats your pussy. That will give you some really good clitoral stimulation, not too much girth, and penetration that he can control very easily.

Do It From a Place of Desire

I’ve never managed to fully enjoy anal sex when I was just doing it because my partner wanted me to.

It felt okay, but not great. I enjoyed making my boyfriend happy more than I actually enjoyed getting fucked.

As a sexually submissive lady, I completely understand wanting to make your partner happy and even getting off on it. But it’s never going to be orgasmic, amazing, or intensely satisfying unless you’re doing it to make yourself happy too.

If you’re not really into the idea of anal and don’t get turned on by the thought of getting your ass fucked, it’s probably best to just not do it. Instead, get your partner a tight anal stroker to play with. Better yet, use it on him and talk him through it so he can pretend he’s really fucking your ass.

If you’re super duper chill with it, you can even give him your blessing to explore that fantasy with a sex worker.

But doing it with you can just be that — a fantasy and nothing more. And that’s okay.

If you’re actually curious and are into the idea of trying it out, though, you’ll have a lot more success if you really get yourself in the mood for it first.

Start exploring anal porn and watch plenty of it. Picture it when you’re jilling off. Start daydreaming about how hot it would be for your partner to ease his cock into your ass. I’ll even do it when I’m getting fucked — I’ll imagine that my husband’s pounding my ass instead of thrusting into my pussy and it’ll sometimes give me the urge to actually go for it.

If you want an amazing anal experience, make sure that you’re not just sort of, kind of into the idea of it. Wait until you want it badly. Get super horny for it. It’s going to be so much better if you are.

Explore a New Kind of Pleasure

Anal can be intimidating and challenging, but it can also be really fucking hot and pleasurable.

There’s a bit of a dirty taboo to it. It feels like you’re doing something extra naughty, which I personally find arousing.

It feels a bit adventurous, like you’re taking on something that requires a little more effort and determination.

But the best part is how good it feels when it’s done well. The fact that you’re exploring new ways of stimulating your body is what makes anal sex so appealing.

If you feel a strong desire for it and take the right approach to it, you can discover a brand new kind of pleasure. And that’s an incredibly exciting experience.

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