The Best Tip for Amazing Anal Sex

And no, it’s not lube

I learned the one thing that would help most people have great anal sex, and it’s shockingly simple.

The first time I had anal sex, I was completely unprepared for it. I hadn’t read up on it or learned what it took to do it right.

I knew there should be lube involved, but I had no idea that there would be more to it than that.

Over the years, I took the time to educate myself a bit more. I read all the advice I came across. But there was always one piece of information missing.

Anal sex could be incredibly stimulating and pleasurable. It could leave me deeply satisfied and wondering why I didn’t get my ass fucked more often.

Other times, it was just kind of okay.

On occasion, it just wouldn’t work at all and I’d have to give up trying to get my partner’s cock in my ass. Or I would manage it but it wouldn’t be as comfortable as I wished it would be.

I couldn’t figure out why.

I mean, in some cases it was obvious that I just didn’t want it badly enough. But when I was horny and craving a good ass fucking, I had no idea why it wouldn’t turn into one of those life-affirming anal experiences.

I had lots of lube, I had a careful and caring partner, and I had psyched myself up thoroughly.

But what I didn’t have was muscle control.

The Right Way to Relax for Anal

The worst part of anal is always the initial penetration.

Sliding that cock inside me is the least enjoyable part. Getting fucked is fine, but getting in there can be downright uncomfortable.

I figured it was unavoidable. You throw as much lube as you really can on that dick, get in the right mindset, and accept that it’s not going to feel good until he’s in deep and thrusting.

But it turns out there was something else I could do to make that initial insertion a whole lot more pleasant. It was just a simple little muscle trick. It’s one that I must’ve done once in a while, but never consciously.

I only started doing it deliberately after learning about it in a Kenneth Play guide to anal sex. I don’t think I’ve ever seen it spelled out and explained anywhere else.

Everyone says that you should relax to make anal sex more enjoyable. That’s really good advice. But what I’ve learned is that we’re not talking enough about the kind of relaxation you need the most.

I’ve seen lots of people recommend deep breathing. I’ve seen people say that you should get in a calm mindset. And lots of people will tell you to work up to it slowly so you don’t get nervous.

That’s all great advice, but you also need to bear down on that dick.

I know that doesn’t sound like a relaxation technique, but it is — it’s just a really precise and targeted one.

You have to be emotionally and mentally relaxed. You have to relax your body, too. But you also need to relax a very specific part of your body. That’s because your sphincter muscle will tighten up instinctively unless you make sure that it’s properly relaxed. And you do that by bearing down on it.

Until you’re used to it, this will go against your natural inclinations. Bearing down on a cock feels like you’re trying to push it back out or trying to keep it from going in. But what you’re really doing is welcoming it in by relaxing, loosening up, and preparing your ass.

It’s the number one thing that has improved anal sex for me. And I suspect not knowing about it is the reason so many people have bad experiences being on the receiving end of anal, even when they really want it.

Anytime you want to take something in your ass, even if it’s just a finger or a small buttplug, be sure to relax your sphincter muscle this way. You’ll see what a big difference it makes.

Don’t Get Butthurt

Not bearing down during the initial penetration is keeping a lot of people from experiencing amazing anal sex. But there are still a few more things you need to make anal as great as it should be.

Train Your Ass

Anal training is a good idea. It’s basically solo ass play. Sometimes it specifically involves working your way up from small butt toys to bigger and bigger ones.

The point is to basically train yourself to relax that muscle so you’re ready when it’s time to take it in the ass.

It’s especially helpful if you’re working up to your first time doing anal or if you only do it infrequently. Even though I love it, I don’t actually do it every week. Playing with a buttplug is a good way to make sure I’m still prepared when I get in the mood for it (plus, it’s just plain fun).

Go Slow

I’m really anal about my anal porn. It’s one of my favorite genres, but I can only get off to it if the girl getting her ass fucked looks like she’s really enjoying it.

One thing I especially hate seeing is male performers who charge ahead and shove their cocks in quickly instead of easing in slowly — or better yet, letting her do it herself. That kind of speed seriously reduces the odds of it feeling good or even comfortable.

Again, it has to do with your sphincter’s natural instincts. That muscle’s default reaction is to flex and tighten, and that’s what it’s going to do if it’s caught off-guard. Because of that, almost any penetrative play that happens too abruptly is going to be a problem.

Lube Up

Even if you can bear down and relax like a pro, lube is still basically essential for anal.

On a few occasions, I’ve had all the stars line up — intense horniness and a massive desire to get my ass fucked, his cock and my ass meeting at the perfect angle, and a slow and gentle start. In those cases, I managed to get away with using just some spit. But that’s not how I roll anymore and you shouldn’t either.

Your mouth and your pussy will lubricate themselves but your ass won’t. So, make sure to use good lube when you’re having anal.

If you’re not using condoms, you can go with an oil-based lube, or an all-natural option like coconut oil.

With or without condoms, you can use silicone or water-based lube.

Silicone lube is my personal favorite because it’s slick, slippery, and lasts a long time, which makes it ideal for this kind of play. Avoid it if you’re using any silicone sex toys, though.

I’m really choosy when it comes to water-based lubes, and you should be too when it comes to your ass. Get one that’s designed specifically for anal (my current favorite is Sliquid Sassy). They’re thicker, slipperier, and tend to last longer than standard water-based lubes.

Really Want It

The unfortunate thing about anal is that so many women try it because their partner wants to do it — not because they want it themselves.

That doesn’t usually result in good anal because your desire plays a big role in how easy and pleasurable the experience is going to be.

If you’re into the idea of taking it in the ass, or you want to give it to your partner so badly that you’ve managed to get really excited about it, then you’re good to go.

But if you’re doing it out of obligation, under pressure, or because you want to impress him, it’s probably best to avoid it.

I don’t think anyone who doesn’t actually want to do anal should try it. It’s physically demanding and can be uncomfortable or downright painful if it’s not done well. And because the one thing that divides good anal sex from bad anal sex is a muscle with a sensitive trigger finger, your heart has to genuinely be into it.

Rub The Clit

Clit stimulation during anal is fucking amazing. It gives you a really intense sensation and it can result in some powerful orgasms.

It also makes the sex itself better and easier, so don’t skip it.

It helps the most during the initial penetration. Giving yourself that extra pleasure while you’re going through that bit of discomfort will help you relax and focus on something else while you ease that cock inside you.

Once it’s in, pleasuring your clit will keep making it more comfortable overall. There’s just something about that little extra help that makes everything go so much smoother.

Relax, You’ve Got This

I’m not sure why more people don’t spread the gospel of bearing down for fantastic anal sex.

It could be that it’s not easy to explain (hell, I’m not sure I did a great job of it). It might be something most people don’t notice — the anal experts just do it without realizing they’re doing it. Or maybe everyone who knows it assumes it’s common knowledge.

Well, it’s not. I never knew it until recently, and it could’ve saved me a lot of butthurt if I had learned it sooner.

And now that you know how to make anal ten times better, you’re ready to have some fun. Bear down, relax that muscle, and take that dick like a pro.

Anal sex is so much easier after you’ve practiced on your own. For that, I recommend the Naughty Candy Heart Buttplug! It’s my favorite buttplug and it’s great for solo play or to have some extra dirty fun with a partner. That’s an affiliate link, by the way. If you click on it (or click here) and treat yourself to anything from the site, I earn a small commission and you’ll be supporting my work! ❤

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